Post here, but like a man who has just discovered MN.

[Whadda]

Hi ladies.

Pretend Man here.

I’m (40M) really concerned about my relationship with my beautiful wife. She’s 34, and an incredible mother to our two amazing boys. She’s stunning and I tell her this every day. I take care of myself too and go to the gym sixteen times a week. Other women have told me I’m a 9 but I dunno, I’d say 8, tops. I’m modest.
We make love twice a week and it’s always very tender and loving, our love-making. Passionate too. Gentle.

So my darling lady wife has been going through a tough time lately and I wanted some advice from you women because I know you all think alike and I figure it’s easier to ask you than to actually speak to her. But don’t worry, I know that not all women are alike so very interested to hear from as many of you who agree with me and want to fawn over me as possible.

She’s been made redundant, her father has a terminal illness, she’s undergoing some tests for a serious medical issue, and her Nana (96F) just died.

I think this has all been making her quite emotional, for some reason. I know you ladies get emotional at times so I’ve done everything I can to help her. Last week I babysat the children while she went to the funeral. I’m trying really hard and don’t think she appreciates me.

So what I wanted to ask is, would I be unreasonable to fuck her best friend because that’s pretty much the reason I posted here to begin with and everything else I said is just padding?

This thread needs to be in Classics, please!

CLASSICS, CLASSICS, CLASSICS, OI, OI, OI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whaddaya mean you were watching that?

The bathroom bin is full would I be unreasonable to tell my wife it needs emptying? Cos I've never noticed it full before & come to think of it we need a new loo roll too!!

Hello ladies,

Man here. I wanted to get some thoughts from you lovely ladies on my situation.

My wife and I have been married for 10 years and have a six month old baby. My wife is an amazing mother to our son and a beautiful, kind person but recently I’ve been feeling pushed out of our relationship and I want to know how best to approach it with her.

I work long hours out of the home and go to the gym on my way home. By the time I’m back the baby is in bed so there should be time for us to have nice adult evening, but lately she just doesn’t seem into it. She complains all the time that she’s tired, which I understand (we have a baby haha) but once a week I take the baby to my mum’s for an hour so she gets downtime to rest or do the supermarket shop, so I sometimes think she’s just being too negative.

Our sex life has also taken a massive nosedive. I initiate daily but she’s only interested perhaps one in ten times. Other times it’s the same excuse - she’s ‘too tired’. I even offered to do one of the night feeds on a Friday hoping she might be up for sex the next day, but when Saturday came she made another excuse. I don’t want to pressure her but equally it’s not fair to expect me to live in a sexless marriage.

The other day she mentioned having her mum come to stay for a week to help her get on top of the house because it’s got quite messy. I’m not really happy with that though because I like having my own space and I don’t want her mum hanging around for a whole week. I’ve suggested I take the baby to visit my friend for the day while she catches up on housework. He has a wife and a baby too so it would work out really well and I could watch the rugby without getting under her feet haha.

I want to know how best to support her through this so we can get back to a better place like we used to be. Shall I just tell her I feel like my needs aren’t being met? How can I phrase that so she won’t just get angry and refuse to listen?

Thanks ladies

Hello ladies. I am a female, absolutely not a man, and I'm here to tell you why feminism is getting it all wrong. You're really not making it easy for yourselves. I mean, us. Us. Because I'm a female. Not a man.

Hi.. Man here.
What's with this feminism bollocks? I just don't get it.
Aibu??

You don’t want to watch that history shit, do you? But you LOVE the football replays!!!

Look, when me and Dave said 'look at the tits on that one, I'd give her a go!' it was just lads' banter. You need to chill and stop being so hysterical about stuff. Fuxake.

Why do you women always moan about how long it takes us men to have a shit? We're not just having a shit! The toilet is our man cave where we can escape to ponder the world, piss about on our phone or study the racing post.
We don't complain about you taking six hours to get ready for a night out while you moan about having nothing to wear or agonising over several different outfits.
And what's with putting us on the spot by asking if your arse looks big in that outfit, when you know that whichever answer we give is guaranteed to be the wrong one, which means we get the silent treatment and no possibility of a shag!!

I'm a woman by the way.

Another thing.....when we say we'd give her one, relax because
A. The possibility of her coming anywhere near us is nil to zero.
B. If she actually spoke to me, I'd shit myself.

Hello lovely ladies. Please be gentle with me, a mere man entering the lionesses' den. I need to get some of your acclaimed female perspective. I adore my wife, I'd do anything for her. I am not framing this post to suggest that I am a poor victimised man being downtrodden by an evil female. Not at all. My wife deserves all the good things in the world. I may just slip in all the things she does that are obviously abusive, while continuing to protest how wonderful she is and how much I love her. If I over-egg the post and throw in a couple of things that no one would ever put up and get called out on them, I will of course row back and pretend I meant something else not quite so bad. This is not in any way a not-so-subtle attempt to whip up froth about Teh Evil Femalez and get some excellent screenshots for my MRA followers on Twitter about double standards. I would never do that. I love my imaginary wife.

Why, when we're having a row, do you go to your mental filing cabinet and pull out something that I said years ago???

@PipeDownPete

Why, when we're having a row, do you go to your mental filing cabinet and pull out something that I said years ago???

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Hahaha I love this one.

Hi ladies.

Man here.

I've been single for the past 10 years. Never been married and no kids.

I've recently met a woman. She's 8 years younger than me which I quite like but I say she's 10 years younger because it sounds more impressive.

She's really nice. Loads of blokes seem to fancy her so I feel reassured that no one is looking at me and wondering what I'm doing with her. But I'm really struggling because she's 45, a size 12 and a mum of two. I really didn't imagine I'd end up with someone like that! Whenever I go out, alone or with her, I try and catch the eye of slim, attractive 20 year olds because I still feel 25 inside. But they ignore me. It makes me so cross because they're shallow and only see me as a 50something man. I bet they'd be interested if I were over 6 foot and earning a six figure salary!

My new girlfriend and were talking about our dating experiences one evening and I told her I was an incel. I mean, obviously I have sex with her but these slim, beautiful, shallow 20somethings just aren't interested in me.

What should I do? Keep seeing her and accept I'll never get what I really want or should I hold out for one of these younger women? It's really knocking my confidence now!

(True story...)

@LubaLuca

Hello ladies!

I'm a hard-working husband, putting in 15 hour shifts 6 days a week to keep a roof over our heads. She doesn't work, that's a decision we both made when the second set of twins was born. I am mindful of my wife's needs.

Why won't she suck my dick more?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts, you ladies here are so great. Dean x

Hahahahahaha

Hi ladies,
I work 45 hours a week and like to have a layin Saturday and Sunday and then go and play golf all day.

My wife stays at home with our 4 children (all under 4) but I never come home to a tidy house. AIBU to think she should pick up my washing from on the floor next to the wash basket, pick my sopping wet towel up that I left in the bed or tidy away the knife plate and mug I left next to the empty dishwasher?
Can you believe she asked me to watch our kids for 30 minutes so she could have a bath after iv been at work all day? The cheek. I need a break. I'm off to the pub with the lads, just before the kids bed time. She will manage 😉

All she does it sit down and read mum's net all day!

(this thread is my fave)

Oh wife, I am so happy you Love watching match of the day and those really interesting post match interviews where they answer really, really interesting questions. Instead of foreplay, let's talk about transfer windows, the offside rule and VAR ❤️

OH…MY…GOOOOOOOOD!!! THAT WOMAN!!! I swear she does this just to mess with my head! I’ve been staring into the fridge for like, 20 minutes looking for the bloody jam. Not the tall thin one, or the marmelade I asked her to buy a million years ago and used once, or the plum jam that is slowly decomposing that I needed for a recipe to impress my mates, but you know… the EXPENSIVE one with the red lid, that no one else is allowed to use!!! I’ve been screaming at her to tell me where she’s put it, and all she’s doing is getting the kids dressed and making their breakfasts, shoveling food into them, making their lunches around me like everything’s normal, making sure my coffee is just the way I like it (had to send it back for more sugar 🙄 TYPICAL!) while all she will say is “It’s in the fridge where you left it.” Fiiiiinally found the jar, and guess what??? Bloody thing’s almost EMPTY!!! I mean, there’s not even enough to scrape over ONE piece of toast, and guess what??? She’s blaming ME for putting a nearly empty jam jar back in the fridge instead of throwing it out and letting her know we needed more! *Toiletpapergate all over again

Man here.
I just need somewhere to vent.
Aibu to be pissed off that the wife made egg and chips for dinner????? Egg... And... Chips?? I've been at work all day, she's been sat on her arse all day and she's cooked egg and chips.
Fuming.

Posting on the feminism board

Hi Ladies,

I don't really get this feminism thing. Could you all take the time to explain the main points to me, then I can mansplain back to you why you're getting it wrong.
I absolutely won't flounce off when you hand my arse back to me on a plate.

Ladies, AIBU when I say that marriage ruins everything in a relationship?

I married my wife four years ago, when she was a slim, attractive blonde, always happy and always up for it, if you know what I mean. I use to have trouble keeping up with her!
She used to love a good night down at the pub, dressed up to the nines. All my mates were dead envious. I had to put one or two of them right about gawping at her too long, and in the end I had to put my foot down about her showing the wares, if you get me.
She wasn't too happy about it, and said did I expect her to dress in a sack, but when I explained to her that showing herself off like that wasn't acceptable and was disrespectful to me, she got it, although we did have a few words about it and I had to give her a slap.

Then the kids came along, and she had to stay in to look after them, so I had to go out on my own. Luckily, I had lots of mates to hang out with and life carried on.
But the wife changed. After the kids, she put weight on, and then one day, I noticed that she had brown hair! The blonde was out of a bottle and she wasn’t bothering any more. It was like I suddenly saw her for the first time and she wasn’t a happy, slim, attractive blonde any more. She was a dumpy miserable brunette in shapeless leggings and tops.
Even the nookie had gone out of the window. I can't remember the last time I got a blow job, and she's always “too tired.” I have to moan and insist to get anything at all. Not that she does it for me any more, the way she looks nowadays. But I’m a red blooded bloke and I can't be expected to go without.
Having said that, there's a nice little barmaid at the local that's been giving me the eye…

So all in all ladies, I don't think I am being unreasonable here. Once they get married and capture their man, women just seem to relax and let themselves go…

@BloomingTrees

Posting on the feminism board

Hi Ladies,

I don't really get this feminism thing. Could you all take the time to explain the main points to me, then I can mansplain back to you why you're getting it wrong.
I absolutely won't flounce off when you hand my arse back to me on a plate.

This is art.

Instead of telling my wife I was going out to get shit faced after work and I'd be home at 4am, I told her I was going out for one respectable pint and would be home by 8 for date night. Can't understand why she sent me a shitty text and isn't impressed with my 4am rendition of the macarana on the front lawn. Miserable bitch.

Why is it that...
When you're sat with a face like a slapped arse and I ask you what is wrong, you say 'nothing!' in a tone that suggests that I've offered to slaughter your family and eat the dog!
Then you spend the rest of the morning huffing and puffing.
So I go to the pub to watch football with my mates because you told me to leave you alone, and come home to enough huffing and puffing to blow the house down.
I can't win!