Post here, but like a man who has just discovered MN.

[Whadda]

Hi ladies.

Pretend Man here.

I’m (40M) really concerned about my relationship with my beautiful wife. She’s 34, and an incredible mother to our two amazing boys. She’s stunning and I tell her this every day. I take care of myself too and go to the gym sixteen times a week. Other women have told me I’m a 9 but I dunno, I’d say 8, tops. I’m modest.
We make love twice a week and it’s always very tender and loving, our love-making. Passionate too. Gentle.

So my darling lady wife has been going through a tough time lately and I wanted some advice from you women because I know you all think alike and I figure it’s easier to ask you than to actually speak to her. But don’t worry, I know that not all women are alike so very interested to hear from as many of you who agree with me and want to fawn over me as possible.

She’s been made redundant, her father has a terminal illness, she’s undergoing some tests for a serious medical issue, and her Nana (96F) just died.

I think this has all been making her quite emotional, for some reason. I know you ladies get emotional at times so I’ve done everything I can to help her. Last week I babysat the children while she went to the funeral. I’m trying really hard and don’t think she appreciates me.

So what I wanted to ask is, would I be unreasonable to fuck her best friend because that’s pretty much the reason I posted here to begin with and everything else I said is just padding?

Hi ladies,

Man here, I don't understand why I can't get a girl to stay with me. I keep telling them that I'm the nice guy yet they fuckoff with someone else soon after splitting up with me.
I don't get what the problem is. I thought you liked being told what to wear and who to be friends with. I told my ex girlfriend that her best mate was a slag and she dumped me. Something about hos before bro's.
Im very attentive: I text constantly even when I'm told I'm being full on because you like a chase right.
Where am I going wrong?

Ha ha ha ha

Clearly I haven't messaged @Letsallscreamatthesistene

... who has no sense of humour at all

Love it!

Apologies Letsallscreamatthesistene if I've just been successfully had by an ingenious double irony bluff from you and your keyboard.

Hi ladies

Man here. Wondered if you could settle an argument between myself and DW.

I’ve recently bought a leather jacket which I think looks cool, particularly when I’m on my new motorbike. But wifey says I look like a wanker.

I’m happy to PM you pictures if you like, so you can see what I mean?

Evening lady’s ;)
I am quite good looking, so I’ve been told, lol, take care of myself, work hard, own a car, keep my bedroom tidy to help my mum.

My ex is a bitter women and is poisoning my kids against me. I see them once a year since I moved three continents away from them, I feel this is too much, I work.
Anyway, there’s a 19yr old lady at work who’s amazing and we want to build a life together. I’m 57 but young at heart lol. How can I get my new lady to raise my kids?

Can anyone point me to the Blacklight thread if it's still around? I missed it at the time

AIBU to say that she is the very definition of a crazy ex?

and

Man here, I don't understand why I can't get a girl to stay with me. I keep telling them that I'm the nice guy yet they fuckoff with someone else soon after splitting up with me.

You've got my sympathies, lads. All of my exes are raging psychos. I am also a Nice Guy™️ and yet all I seem to attract are bunny boilers.

keep my bedroom tidy to help my mum

😆

Man here. I punched my partner in the face (in front of our child), am I being unreasonable to say she deserved it? She did, she annoys the fuck out of me for so many reasons that I can't actually fathom to list.
Am I being unreasonable to call her a c* for no reason and tell her she has mental health issues, because let's face it.. She does.
She calls me an abuser, but I think she's being very unreasonable.
Should I ditch the bitch or carry on making her life a living misery... Because quite frankly, I enjoy it.

[quote Thelnebriati]I was just about to post the link when this thread was zapped;

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway Thu 12-Feb-15
Oh thank GOD you're here! Thank you SO much. I've been using these magic boxes for over 20 years without a CLUE what I'm doing. I remember when the demon known as the internet came into my house. you'd have been about 5 back then. I have been keeping the evil at bay with chicken legs and candles. Thank goodness you've arrived.
Back when my job involved working on these machines all day, I just bashed them with my tits and hoped for the best.
I'm not actually sure how I managed to get on here, tbh. I was dusting it one day and all this stuff appeared.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/a2307274-I-am-everything-you-hate-about-people-on-the-internet-I-am-here-to-help?msgid=52533449#52533449[/quote]
@Ringsender2

But you're letting the side down, mate, asking for directions.

Anyway, there’s a 19yr old lady at work who’s amazing and we want to build a life together. I’m 57 but young at heart lol. How can I get my new lady to raise my kids?

Have you considered telling her all about your awful ex, how awful your life was with your awful ex, and how awful it is that your awful ex has awfully turned the weans against you? Once she's feeling sympathy for you and rage towards your ex, she'll drop her standards and her knickers.

This isn't avery as I've borrowed her phone (she's in the bath).
Can you help! I can't find my clean socks and pants- I've tried turning them inside out but they are a bit itchy and I really need clean ones. She's put them somewhere and I can't find them.
I just asked yelled through the bathroom door where they are and she said that after 40 years of marriage and them always being kept in the same place I should bloody well know. Well I don't. Where are they?

This thread has been one of the best for a while 🤣🤣

Good idea, Clocktopus , if she resists I’ll ask her why she hates my amazing kids that I don’t see or bother with. She’ll never clock on

My intention in posting on here was more for parents, specifically mothers, to be able to ask direct questions of someone who is involved in what is considered a typically male experience. More aimed at the perspectives that do not particularly appeal to their demographic.

My biggest surprise actually was the replies that give away what kind of a knowledge-base there is amongst the current sites residents. To be fair, that wasn't really what I had intended the thread to be about so not too fussed about a lot of that, scrolled past.

(With incredulous nod to the 'smashing my tits on the keyboard' thread of 6 years past)

I think some of you might enjoy the Joan & Jericha advice podcast. Lots of tips for the lady’s.

Why is my house always a shit hole. I spend all day at work and I come home and my wife looks absolutely exhausted. We have 13 month old twins. It can't be that fucking hard! She rarely wears a bra anymore and last night when she came to bed she had 6 Rice Krispies in her hair? Wtf is she doing all day?! Chatting to you best of vipers I bet!

Firstly I need to disclose I'm a man and I don't have children.

I recently split up with a girlfriend and I don't know why. I've been told I'm good looking, funny, a good person, intelligent, cultured, and extremely well read, as well as speaking several languages.

Please fawn over me and repeat back the list above.

Hi ladies.. Man here.
Aibu? I let off raving, stinking farts quite consistently, particularly in bed and at the dinner table. My wife thinks I'm disgusting and tells me regularly to stick a Cork up my back side.
Is she being unreasonable or am I? It's just a normally bodily function isn't it?

Best thing to do @MrMcguffery is to fart obnoxiously even when she's talking. She'll soon stfu and learn to live with it.
Also when doing a shit in the morning make sure it's splattered all over the toilet, I know my Mrs loves scraping it off the bowl. Gives her a purpose in life.

@NowEvenBetter take in your most recent photo of your dc to work. Doesn't matter if it's 6yrs out of date, just display it prominently and gaze at it in a wistful and sensitive way whenever she's nearby. In time you'll be able to get in choice snippets about your psycho ex rinsing you and keeping you away from your beloved kids. At 19 you have a good chance of getting her to see your side. If she doesn't come round then some lesbian bra burning bitch has poisoned her against men. Good luck mate.

Hi all.. I'm after a bit of advice here on a sensitive situation I won't post too many details as it's outing
If person A works 60 hours a week in a full time, executive level role and earns a 6 figure yearly sum plus generous pension and fringe benefits gets to go old golfing weekends with the lads and contributes a 50% of their wage into the joint account and person B earns £600 a year and doesn't work because they are looking after 3 kids aged, 3, 2 and 1 and doesn't contribute anything into the joint account and sits on their arse all day doing nothing, who is being unreasonable?
Sorry for the lack of punctuation I'm so angry

Blokes.. Help me.. Affair partner is pregnant.
What do I do. Fuck. I'm shaking.

Blokes.. Help me.. Affair partner is pregnant.
What do I do. Fuck. I'm shaking

Mate... always practice safe sex, and by that I mean don't give her your real name.

Have you considered hounding her day and night until she agrees to an abortion?