Post here, but like a man who has just discovered MN.

[Whadda]

Hi ladies.

Pretend Man here.

I’m (40M) really concerned about my relationship with my beautiful wife. She’s 34, and an incredible mother to our two amazing boys. She’s stunning and I tell her this every day. I take care of myself too and go to the gym sixteen times a week. Other women have told me I’m a 9 but I dunno, I’d say 8, tops. I’m modest.
We make love twice a week and it’s always very tender and loving, our love-making. Passionate too. Gentle.

So my darling lady wife has been going through a tough time lately and I wanted some advice from you women because I know you all think alike and I figure it’s easier to ask you than to actually speak to her. But don’t worry, I know that not all women are alike so very interested to hear from as many of you who agree with me and want to fawn over me as possible.

She’s been made redundant, her father has a terminal illness, she’s undergoing some tests for a serious medical issue, and her Nana (96F) just died.

I think this has all been making her quite emotional, for some reason. I know you ladies get emotional at times so I’ve done everything I can to help her. Last week I babysat the children while she went to the funeral. I’m trying really hard and don’t think she appreciates me.

So what I wanted to ask is, would I be unreasonable to fuck her best friend because that’s pretty much the reason I posted here to begin with and everything else I said is just padding?

Hey girls,

Just wanted some advice. My wifey refuses to do my laundry because I made a rude comment once.

AIBU to call her an utter cunt and not speak to her for 6 weeks?

In an obscure way this could be called funny but you must admit it is extremely sexist.

I mean, yeah, of course you feel for your wife, but at what point do you get your needs met? How long do you get ignored while you support her? It's give and take after all, and it seems to be her taking all your support and giving you no sexual intimacy.

I think this is an important thing for you to explore. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. After all, I too am a 9 and I have faced similar with my wife. She's a 7, I know I married beneath myself a bit but she's a good person and a good mother. She works so hard 40 hrs a week and does all the housework and childcare and there was nothing left for me. I had an affair with her best friend and I got to a point where I realised I wouldn't survive adult life without my wife. So I stopped the affair. Yeah, I see her best friend all the time and it's hard but it was what we all needed. I needed sex, my wife needed space. Nobody is any the wiser and we are all happier without everyone knowing why. It can be a good thing. Win-win.

My wife seems to have gone off me, I give her compliments and try to instigate with her by touching her as soon as I get in from work. I think it must be the size of my appendage. She said it's the fact that I don't do enough around the house (guilty as charged!) But she does it better! It must be my size, am I smaller than the average guy? It's all I can think about....

@KaptainKaveman

In an obscure way this could be called funny but you must admit it is extremely sexist.

Hi lady.

I like my women feisty and obstreperous. Thank you.

More man bashing.

@Galassia

More man bashing.

Oh god won’t someone think of the MEN. Those poor, put upon, awfully treated men 😭😭

@Galassia

More man bashing.

Tell me about it, it seems if you have a dick, you're wrong! Apparently shoving my socks behind a radiator makes me unfuckable, but my wife putting used sanitary towels in the bin is supposed to pass without notice??

😂😂😂😂

@KaptainKaveman

In an obscure way this could be called funny but you must admit it is extremely sexist.

Being sexist does not stop it being funny.

@Galassia

More man bashing.

I'm a bloke and I think it's bloody funny.

More man bashing

Poor men. How will they ever cope with ... ... eleven minutes of satire about a very specific type of man? Is it time for a pre-emptive NAMALT?

Maybe they should ask women, who have had millenia of it.

Evening ladies, hope you don't mind a man here looking for advice. I've been married to my lovely wife for 8 years. She is an amazing mother to our two children, and I find her as attractive now as I did all those years ago. However since the birth of our children, our sex life had dwindled somewhat. She says that with the pressures of work, house and children, she struggles to feel 'sexual'. I've encouraged her to explore and touch herself (iyswim) but she says she feels unsure of what to do.

Perhaps you ladies could share with me some tips that work for you, that I could share with my lovely wife for her to try?

Now, now ladies.

Can’t you just calm down and discuss this rationally?

@Usernamenotavailabletryanother

Now, now ladies.

Can’t you just calm down and discuss this rationally?

Exactly. The hysteria here is ridiculous. We were just asking a question

This reminds me of a young male poster called Blacklight a few years ago, who offered to explain the internet to us but got his arse well and truly handed to him by women who'd been working in tech since before he was born.

I don’t know but if anyone needs to talk about anything manly like, fixing cars or DIY, just dm me and I’d be happy to help a damsel in distress and perhaps offer a few dick pics after I’ve complimented your ‘writing style’.

Hi ladies

I hope you don’t mind me popping in here because I’ve just registered a username and the sex topic is off limits to me

My wife is really prudish about oral sex, so can you ladies help her (and me haha) and tell me what your favourite things to do and to have done to you are?

It's like reading Reddit...

OP, it's probably the menopause, buy her some flowers or chocolates, the ladies really go for that shit.

Ofnorman 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Man here. Ladies, please help me I know you know about housework, feelings, relationships etc.

I take my belt off and leave it around the house in the middle of the floor in a different room every time because I'm thinking about important things. I then fold my shorts up neatly and leave them on the floor too. It's a neat pile I'm not an animal. I like to wander around in my boxers of an evening.

My dw always puts my belt back in my drawer, the same drawer every time. Anyway, I know you're all hanging on to my every word here; AIBU to ask dw where my belt is every day when I'm getting dressed? She often acts irritated with me and I don't know why. She's probably a bit busy with the toddler twins but it would only take a second to remind me where she keeps the belt.

Hello ladies!

I'm a hard-working husband, putting in 15 hour shifts 6 days a week to keep a roof over our heads. She doesn't work, that's a decision we both made when the second set of twins was born. I am mindful of my wife's needs.

Why won't she suck my dick more?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts, you ladies here are so great. Dean x

Hello ladies

I'm after some advice about my ex. We have two kids together. They're my absolute world and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them except pay maintenence or agree to a contact schedule, of course. Anyway. How best shall I dick about about her life? I was thinking I should get my latest girlfriend to send her an email about how unfair she's being in turning the kids against me?