I did something daring today... do you think I'll get a reply?

[aurynne]

I was at the Drs. waiting room today and a gentleman came in and sat by my side. We looked briefly and smiled at each other. I thought he looked like a really nice person, not gorgeously handsome but there was something in him that made me want to know a bit more. He was well dressed and was wearing a name tag but I did not find the way to properly read it without being very obvious. I was trying to find an excuse to talk to him when I was called in to my appointment.

When I finished he was gone. I was just about to leave myself, when I stopped and thought: "What the hell, what do you have to lose?". So I asked the receptionist: "Excuse me, I'm going to be cheeky but, if I pass you a note would you be able to give it to the gentleman who was sitting by my side about 20 min ago?". She smiled at me looking amused and said that it could be arranged.

So I quickly scribbled this on the back of a receipt: "Hello, I am the lady sitting by your side at the waiting room earlier. I was wondering, would you like to go for a coffee one day? If not, I just hope this note made your day. Aurynne, 555-3453", and a smiley face.

I can't believe I did that!!! I'm 45, no spring chicken, but I am feeling quite excited. I have no idea whether the man is married, has a girlfriend, is gay or celibate, but even if I get no answer I am enjoying imagining his face when he gets the note. Which I really hope he gets. I want to know where he works, and why he was wearing a name tag. And what his name is. And most of all, whether he thought he'd like to know me too, or if it was all in my head only.

Do you think I'll get a reply?

Has anyone else done something like this? Please tell me what happened while I nervously wait for a message that may never arrive!!!

[quote SamiReed1]@Sparklingbrook I know that, but I feel you are missing the point. Most threads (and almost all innocuous ones about mundane life) seem be reported going by the Mumsnet message input, and there is simply no need for most to be reported.[/quote]
I'm not missing the point. The point is that this place is over run by trolls currently. MNHQ will have a look at the report and respond accordingly. If nobody reported anything we'd have even more trolls.

Lovely story. Shame about the outcome. I admire your courage

@Sparklingbrook The point is that this place is over run by trolls currently.

I don't think it is. Not at all. Not even 3%.

Unless one considers the trollhunters the trolls, which I certainly do.

I wonder if his wife is a Mumsnetter?

Can you imagine the thread?

"AIBU to think my husband should be able to attend a doctor's appointment without being asked out by some woman he politely smiled at?"

[quote SamiReed1]@Shirleyphallus Because these people are clearly taking the piss themselves. And doubt even 3% of threads are troll threads. So many threads I've seen Mumsnet have to comment on re 'reports', and the threads are about ordinary every day mundane stuff, and who in the right mind would think the OP of those is a troll? Now you can't even post about babies having diarrhoea, on a MUM'S forum, without being reported. It is ridiculous and it's gone too far. If someone started a thread about their favourite potplants, someone would report the OP of the thread.[/quote]
Of course it’s necessary, there are several troll threads even in classics which are quite obviously made up bullshit.

And it isn’t a MUMS forum, it’s a public forum that anyone could and do post on

You cant be living in the UK....a friendly receptionist.....!!

[quote SamiReed1]**@Sparklingbrook* The point is that this place is over run by trolls currently.*

I don't think it is. Not at all. Not even 3%.

Unless one considers the trollhunters the trolls, which I certainly do.[/quote]
The trollhunters are not trolls. If they trollhunt on the thread they'll get deleted (if reported) but if they just report a thread without referencing it on the thread that is not trollhunting.
This weekend has seen many, many threads deleted that were started by trolls and PBPs.
People troll about every single topic ( including children's health sadly).

Sorry for derail @aurynne.

@WorraLiberty

I wonder if his wife is a Mumsnetter?

Can you imagine the thread?

"AIBU to think my husband should be able to attend a doctor's appointment without being asked out by some woman he politely smiled at?"

Love this

@EarringsandLipstick

DD is a bit of man-eater would have batted eyelashes at him until he asked for her number. None of this note malarky.

God that's grim. 'A bit of a man-eater' 'batted eyelashes'. I thought we'd moved on from this, in 2021.

(And it's not a Jilly Cooper bonkbuster).

I know this doesn't fit into the MN narrative of trembling females harangued constantly by predatory males... DD enjoys male attention, genuinely. It's the best part of her holiday job (bar maid), meeting someone cute to flirt with. She was saying that the only time she cold-shoulders guys is in clubs -- too noisy to be gracious about it so she instantly puts on her best BitchFace to tell them to go away. Anyone else she isn't interested in gets a polite rebuff.

She's in control, no doubt about it. She's a bit high maintenance Power Princess and I pity anyone who under-estimates her.

@lljkk

I have a lot of respect and love for your daughter 👏🏻👏🏻

Hmm. If this scenario happened, the thing is, you never know why anyone is at a Drs appointment. Or how worried they might be.

It’s not the right place to try to pick anyone up.

You're imagining the look on his face when he finds ir.
I'm imagining the look on his girlfriend or wifes faces if they happen to find the note!
My OH has to attend lots of doctors appointments. He's very friendly and chatty. Does this mean I have to worry hes going to get hit on by lonely predatory women who mistake chatter and smiles for flirting?
He's good looking as well.

I think what you did is a little bit creepy and desperate.

@WitchBaby

Love the update, OP. Hope you have better luck next time

This

Haven't RTFT but why would it be inherently creepy? People are allowed to make contact with others even with clear romantic motivations as long as it not intrusive. What is less intrusive really than a note? "Sleazy message" is hardly descriptive of what OP has done!

I have had many men (not a brag, almost all women get this as we know) men approach me and I would say it's a ratio of about 25% creepy and 75% non creepy, nice, good looking guys just genuinely interested and completely understanding when I've said not single.

I also remember seeing a lovely guy who had clearly mustered a lot of courage and thought "fuck it, I'm going to ask her" and invited me for a drink, visibly nervous. I had to let him down as again I was not single but I just thought it was sweet and could see he had put a lot of effort into going outside his comfort zone.

Not everyone looking for a romantic connection is a monster, how cruel to frame OP's intentions as creepy, or sleazy.

@lljkk I enjoy attention too. Is it really so regressive? Doesn't sound very feminist to expect women to sit in the box of cowering wallflower waiting for big bad males to come along and choose them.

@WorraLiberty

I wonder if his wife is a Mumsnetter?

Can you imagine the thread?

"AIBU to think my husband should be able to attend a doctor's appointment without being asked out by some woman he politely smiled at?"

Or the receptionist

"AIBU to think I already have enough work to do without becoming the local postie?"

@WaterIsBest

Name tag = Jehovah's Witness

Or a Mormon!

OP just read your update, that's adorable :)

@Toomuchtodoo

You're imagining the look on his face when he finds ir. I'm imagining the look on his girlfriend or wifes faces if they happen to find the note! My OH has to attend lots of doctors appointments. He's very friendly and chatty. Does this mean I have to worry hes going to get hit on by lonely predatory women who mistake chatter and smiles for flirting? He's good looking as well.

I think what you did is a little bit creepy and desperate.

Oh jeez! Why project your insecurities onto OP because you're worried about your own OH getting hit on. It's not creepy and desperate to try and shoot her shot. If your OH is that good looking to get hit on in public it's up to him to shut it down and move on, and if you trust him you'd have nothing to worry about? In OP's situation, the gentleman's partner may just be flattered that people find her DP attractive enough to try hit on him and just leave it at that, especially if he is honest with his partner about what happened and simply shut OP down politely and didn't entertain it...

I've always reacted very politely when men have passed me notes on the tube etc., provided it's been done respectfully which it always was. I've texted people to say "no thanks because I'm married/in a relationship but I'm flattered and wish you well". If people respond badly to this, does that mean that the only way to meet people these days is on dating sites? Can no-one make a polite approach any more without being branded creepy?

"lonely predatory women" LMFAO

Ignore the pathetic posters and their shitty comments OP.

You were brave and took a risk.
Sometimes they fail and others turn out incredibly well, but there’s no point living a life of ‘what if’s?

I met DH via work, totally unexpected as I was off men after ditching my cheating ex. I’d recently moved about 200 miles for a new job and knew no-one. I thought give it 6 months and see how the job pans out.

He was another manager in the large department and seemed friendly so when he offered to help me find a place to live, I thought why not? Turns out we had shared interests and were both single (although he was widowed 6 years previously). He took a risk too as he hadn’t had many dates and certainly not with anyone at work.
It will be 20 years next January. 🥰

Never be afraid to try!!!

Did you not check his finger for a ring while his hand was right next to you?!

Can no-one make a polite approach any more without being branded creepy?

A man approaching a women uninvited is barely any better than him catcalling her in the street - both are a sign of toxic masculinity.

@Fiddliestofsticks

Did you not check his finger for a ring while his hand was right next to you?!

Lots of people don't wear wedding rings?