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Original poster

I did something daring today... do you think I'll get a reply?

270 replies

aurynne · 16/08/2021 01:31

I was at the Drs. waiting room today and a gentleman came in and sat by my side. We looked briefly and smiled at each other. I thought he looked like a really nice person, not gorgeously handsome but there was something in him that made me want to know a bit more. He was well dressed and was wearing a name tag but I did not find the way to properly read it without being very obvious. I was trying to find an excuse to talk to him when I was called in to my appointment.

When I finished he was gone. I was just about to leave myself, when I stopped and thought: "What the hell, what do you have to lose?". So I asked the receptionist: "Excuse me, I'm going to be cheeky but, if I pass you a note would you be able to give it to the gentleman who was sitting by my side about 20 min ago?". She smiled at me looking amused and said that it could be arranged.

So I quickly scribbled this on the back of a receipt: "Hello, I am the lady sitting by your side at the waiting room earlier. I was wondering, would you like to go for a coffee one day? If not, I just hope this note made your day. Aurynne, 555-3453", and a smiley face.

I can't believe I did that!!! I'm 45, no spring chicken, but I am feeling quite excited. I have no idea whether the man is married, has a girlfriend, is gay or celibate, but even if I get no answer I am enjoying imagining his face when he gets the note. Which I really hope he gets. I want to know where he works, and why he was wearing a name tag. And what his name is. And most of all, whether he thought he'd like to know me too, or if it was all in my head only.

Do you think I'll get a reply?

Has anyone else done something like this? Please tell me what happened while I nervously wait for a message that may never arrive!!!

OP posts:
Robin233 · 16/08/2021 07:25

@SquirryTheSquirrel
Exactly.
As a gp receptionist this is not allowed.

Gophering · 16/08/2021 07:26

@SquirryTheSquirrel

In the UK, for the receptionist to use his details for the purpose of passing on a note would be a GDPR breach - she should only be accessing his data for the purposes it was collected for. Not sure if the same is true where the OP is (guessing from format of phone number it isn't the UK).

Obviously the OP meant no harm, but there are situations where this sort of thing could be very frightening - abusive ex using this method is one that leaps to mind.

I'm not sure we should really be cheering this on.

I’m assuming he had gone in for his appointment and therefore the receptionist could give him the note when he came back out. I don’t think it would be ok for her to look up his details and contact him in any other way.
isthismylifenow · 16/08/2021 07:26

@Galassia

You can’t be in the U.K. op as all our doctors receptions are sour faced harridans.

How will she get the note to him? I think she was just being polite to you and will bin the note as I don’t think she is allowed to look up how records and get his address?

This is a worldwide phenomenon. Not just UK. We have a term for them here. It can also apply to a wife of a doctor. We call them Mevrou ( Mrs) Dokter. The wife part came about because years gone by the doctor would do house calls, but you had to get past his wife first.

My ex mil is/was one. Talk about a double blow.

Junipersky · 16/08/2021 07:29

I hope it all works out. I guess it's one of those situations where if you hadn't have done it you would have always been left wondering.

I wouldn't have been brave enough - the main reason being that he likely has a wife/ partner at home - but there is also that chance he could be single. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Iloveginger · 16/08/2021 07:29

@SquirryTheSquirrel

In the UK, for the receptionist to use his details for the purpose of passing on a note would be a GDPR breach - she should only be accessing his data for the purposes it was collected for. Not sure if the same is true where the OP is (guessing from format of phone number it isn't the UK).

Obviously the OP meant no harm, but there are situations where this sort of thing could be very frightening - abusive ex using this method is one that leaps to mind.

I'm not sure we should really be cheering this on.

Presuming the bloke has gone into doctors after the op and she will pass it onto him as he’s leaving, not that she is going to look up his medical records and post it to him.
SquirryTheSquirrel · 16/08/2021 07:29

I’m assuming he had gone in for his appointment and therefore the receptionist could give him the note when he came back out.

OP said 'When I finished he was gone.'

If he was still in his appointment, why wouldn't she wait for him to come out and pass the note on herself?

Lumpwoody · 16/08/2021 07:32

How many of you would be happy if your 19 year old dd came home from the doctor with a note like that and would be ok with the receptionist colluding to pass it on?

Not me for sure.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 16/08/2021 07:35

@Lumpwoody

How many of you would be happy if your 19 year old dd came home from the doctor with a note like that and would be ok with the receptionist colluding to pass it on?

Not me for sure.

Quite.

How many of us would be happy if we'd been the doctor ourselves and got a note from some random bloke who'd been in reception at the same time?

KidneyBeans · 16/08/2021 07:36

@SquirryTheSquirrel

In the UK, for the receptionist to use his details for the purpose of passing on a note would be a GDPR breach - she should only be accessing his data for the purposes it was collected for. Not sure if the same is true where the OP is (guessing from format of phone number it isn't the UK).

Obviously the OP meant no harm, but there are situations where this sort of thing could be very frightening - abusive ex using this method is one that leaps to mind.

I'm not sure we should really be cheering this on.

What personal data would she need to access to pass on a note exactly?

The OP asked the receptionist to pass a note to a man she had observed- she's not asked for his address, phone number or any other data.

I agree it's not hugely professional, and most UK receptionist wouldn't do it. But it's not a GDPR breach

Lumpwoody · 16/08/2021 07:36

And I hope the receptionist doesn’t pass it on. Because it’s not ok for her to discriminate and do so just because the op is a 45 year old woman, rather than a bloke creeping on a teenager or possibly a potential stalker.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 16/08/2021 07:38

What personal data would she need to access to pass on a note exactly?

It isn't clear whether the man had left the building - if he'd left the building the receptionist would need his address to pass the note on.

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2021 07:38

@Lumpwoody

I would find that really creepy. It wouldn’t be ok for a bloke to do this, why is it ok when it’s a woman?
I think it's a bit creepy too. And the Receptionist a bit unprofessional in agreeing to pass notes between patients.
Iloveginger · 16/08/2021 07:39

OP said 'When I finished he was gone.'

Gone from waiting room, as in he might be in his appointment.

If he was still in his appointment, why wouldn't she wait for him to come out and pass the note on herself?
Because she didn’t know how long he’d be and passing a note would be slightly less awkward for both.

Its a light hearted romantic anecdote ( possibly made up) not sure why you are bringing GDPR into it.
Perhaps after the initial thrill of being caught up in a romantic gesture, the receptionist remembered the laws around GDPR and promptly set fire to the note, while being mindful of health and safety regulations. We may never know.

Antsinyourpanta · 16/08/2021 07:39

You can’t be in the U.K. op as all our doctors receptions are sour faced harridans.

Our drs receptionists are fine....the previous one at the dentist simply enhanced the misery of going to the dentist !!

The OP can't be in the UK as you have to sit a long way away from anyone else in medical waiting rooms nowadays! Definitely not side by side

...that's only if you're actually allowed in!

Lumpwoody · 16/08/2021 07:40

The receptionist has been very unprofessional. I’d have thought there were rules about that sort of thing (even in New Zealand) and I’d also have thought the op would have realised how inappropriate it was and not done it.

girlmom21 · 16/08/2021 07:43

I wouldn't respond to someone who got the doctors receptionist to give me a note but couldn't talk to me when I was sat right next to them.

Then again I don't like people who make conversation in doctors surgeries either but that's another problem Grin

SquirryTheSquirrel · 16/08/2021 07:44

Its a light hearted romantic anecdote

I just don't think we should be giving this sort of behaviour the thumbs up.

SwanShaped · 16/08/2021 07:45

Why wouldn’t it be fine if a man did it? It’s not like she’s stalking him. It’s a note. The receptionist could have said no if she didn’t feel comfortable doing that. He can either call or not. No one is being pressured to do anything they don’t want to do. People are being so grumpy on here! (And our receptionists are really nice)

Bluebells1 · 16/08/2021 07:45

My GP's receptionist would have hissed fire at you for daring to walk up to her for a chat. Yours actually smiled?!

Vallmo47 · 16/08/2021 07:46

Good luck OP!!!!

Echobelly · 16/08/2021 07:46

I honestly don't think there's an issue if 'ooh, it'd be creepy if a man did it' here. Yes, it would be but there's a totally different power relation if been thinking they're owed sex by women and women often feeling threatened by men. Thus we say men going 'LOL, I wouldn't mind being propositioned on the street!' because it's not something any of them go through all the time and they wouldn't find it scary at all. At worst a bloke might find a note a bit odd, but he's not likely to feel creeped out.

Lumpwoody · 16/08/2021 07:46

I don’t either @SquirryTheSquirrel. It’s really made me feel uneasy. Especially getting the receptionist to play along and then posting here for cheering on.

It’s not ok to do this. If she wanted to speak to him she should have.

I’d be ringing the doctor to speak to the practice manager and give off stink if dd came home with a note like that. And yes. She’s an adult. But she’s 19. And it’s all kinds of wrong that a receptionist would pass on a creepy note from a man.

And that being the case, they shouldn’t be passing on a note from the op.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 16/08/2021 07:47

Why wouldn’t it be fine if a man did it? It’s not like she’s stalking him. It’s a note.

How does the receptionist know that? For all the receptionist knows she could be his crazed ex, hellbent on making his life miserable.

juneybean · 16/08/2021 07:49

Fucking hell gdpr being cited 😂

Lumpwoody · 16/08/2021 07:49

The receptionist doesn’t know who she is though or what her motivations are.

It’s wrong that they would insert themselves into this sort of thing. There must be guidance against it.

It’s not something to cheer on.
The doctors must have rules that are equivalent male and female. They can’t go well it’s ok coz she’s 40 something and female but it’s not ok coz he’s 40 something male and the woman is 19.

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