Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I did something daring today... do you think I'll get a reply?

270 replies

aurynne · 16/08/2021 01:31

I was at the Drs. waiting room today and a gentleman came in and sat by my side. We looked briefly and smiled at each other. I thought he looked like a really nice person, not gorgeously handsome but there was something in him that made me want to know a bit more. He was well dressed and was wearing a name tag but I did not find the way to properly read it without being very obvious. I was trying to find an excuse to talk to him when I was called in to my appointment.

When I finished he was gone. I was just about to leave myself, when I stopped and thought: "What the hell, what do you have to lose?". So I asked the receptionist: "Excuse me, I'm going to be cheeky but, if I pass you a note would you be able to give it to the gentleman who was sitting by my side about 20 min ago?". She smiled at me looking amused and said that it could be arranged.

So I quickly scribbled this on the back of a receipt: "Hello, I am the lady sitting by your side at the waiting room earlier. I was wondering, would you like to go for a coffee one day? If not, I just hope this note made your day. Aurynne, 555-3453", and a smiley face.

I can't believe I did that!!! I'm 45, no spring chicken, but I am feeling quite excited. I have no idea whether the man is married, has a girlfriend, is gay or celibate, but even if I get no answer I am enjoying imagining his face when he gets the note. Which I really hope he gets. I want to know where he works, and why he was wearing a name tag. And what his name is. And most of all, whether he thought he'd like to know me too, or if it was all in my head only.

Do you think I'll get a reply?

Has anyone else done something like this? Please tell me what happened while I nervously wait for a message that may never arrive!!!

OP posts:
gobackanddoitproperly · 16/08/2021 13:51

@Bretoony

Can no-one make a polite approach any more without being branded creepy?

A man approaching a women uninvited is barely any better than him catcalling her in the street - both are a sign of toxic masculinity.

But hang on…. men have to be invited to approach now?

I mean I hate cat calling as much as the next red-blooded feminist but that is ridiculous! What would you deem an invitation?

AngryWhompingWillow · 16/08/2021 13:55

@DurhamDurham

I can't quite believe the Receptionist agreed to pass on the note. What happens if he gets the note, you turn out to be a deranged stalker and it all ends badly? The man would want to hold the Receptionist partly to blame for passing on the note in the first place. Also you don't know the first thing about him, he could be the deranged one.
I agree with this. The receptionist should never have passed that note on. It was quite unprofessional. I am also very surprised that this man messaged back to say 'thank you I am flattered, but I am happily married with children.' Why the hell would he have responded? This random stranger now has his mobile pone number.

People can call me - and many others on here - a miserable, negative mood hoover, but I think what the OP did was a bit odd and slightly creepy. This isn't a bloody rom-com, it's real life. Passing notes to people via a GP receptionist is weird.

And the OP who said a man leaned over to her on the way off the train and said 'your perfume smells nice' and dropped a piece of paper on the seat with his phone number on gave me the collywobbles Shock Creepy as fuck!

Like some other women on here, I have been hit on LOADS in my life, when I was younger - between 15 and 38-ish, and it happened so many times that it got irksome and fucking annoying. So any attempt for another man to hit on me by dropping a note to me with his number on would make me roll my eyes and scrap the 'note.'

I can only surmise that the women on here who are OK with it, have not had half a lifetime of men hitting on them. Wink

AngryWhompingWillow · 16/08/2021 13:56

His mobile PHONE number - not pone number!

Bretoony · 16/08/2021 14:04

(I can only surmise that the women on here who are OK with it, have not had half a lifetime of men hitting on them.

Exactly, they feel its their entitlement, it's so tiring.

TisButADream · 16/08/2021 14:19

@Bretoony I think that comment was tongue in cheek. As said in my original post, I've had loads of men come on to me, I'm nearly 28 now and this has no joke been going on since I was 11 years old.

It still doesn't give any value to comparing any form of male come on to sexual harassment. It fetishizes the idea of the the subservient, sex hating woman and the pursuant man. It's actually more damaging to the feminist cause, but maybe not every cares about that.

And your individual experience is not invalid. If you are tired of it then that's fully okay and I empathise. But again, we have to take accountability for the implications of what we say and how we act, and perpetuating the idea that all make contact is inherently negative in intention and always unwanted by women is a) feeding into the stuff I said above re enforcing gender roles and b) straight up unfair to males as a population.

TisButADream · 16/08/2021 14:19

all male contact*

Galassia · 16/08/2021 14:21

Mine is an outdated view I know or perhaps just a big ego, but if I had to do the chasing I wouldn’t be interested.

cookiecreampie · 16/08/2021 14:51

I think it's a bit weird and desperate. I'm surprised he replied as now you have his phone number.

LimeRedBanana · 16/08/2021 15:01

I am also very surprised that this man messaged back to say 'thank you I am flattered, but I am happily married with children.' Why the hell would he have responded? This random stranger now has his mobile pone number.

He’s an estate agent. It doesn’t surprise me that he responded in the least!

myrtleWilson · 16/08/2021 15:56

@NoBetterthanSheShouldBe

DB had a woman from his regular blood downing session leave him a note suggesting a meeting. He’s been married for decades and wears a wedding ring.

He thought it was a bit creepy.

Now the romance is off the cards, can we get back to @NoBetterthanSheShouldBe vampire of a brother....so many questions, what genre of vampire is he... Gary Oldman, True Blood, Spike or Angel or does he sparkle like Edward...
NoBetterthanSheShouldBe · 16/08/2021 16:07

@myrtleWilson - well spotted, I didn’t even see that typo.

He donates platelets and is a well-set-up chap. No information on the lady!

Whilst I’m all in favour of talking to strangers, I don’t think asking them out purely based on appearance is acceptable unless it’s on Tinder.

Toomuchtodoo · 16/08/2021 16:12

I think the fact he messaged back shows that he's not entirely against meeting with you.
If he really wasn't interested he would have just simply ignored it.
But he has gone to the bother of engaging with you and he has given you a means to contact him (via his estate agent works number)
Maybe as a pp says I am projecting my own experiences. Maybe I am.
But I can't help feeling that by approaching a man who is in a relationship you could be encouraging him to cheat.
And I know you should trust your partner but who's to say how a person would react if someone is laying it on a plate for them.
The whole thing doesn't sit right to me.

myrtleWilson · 16/08/2021 16:16

You've let us down @NoBetterthanSheShouldBe - a whole new thread journey awaited us with tales of your vampiric brother....Sad

TheVolturi · 16/08/2021 17:22

🤣🤣🤣

SwanShaped · 16/08/2021 17:28

Good update! Although shame he’s not single. What did you message back? Hope you have better luck next time

peridito · 16/08/2021 17:35

Oh shame he's not single .

Wonder what he'd say if he knew there had been 266 posts discussing this .Plus an official investigation into whether or not you were making it all up Grin

Antwerpen · 16/08/2021 17:41

@Toomuchtodoo

I think the fact he messaged back shows that he's not entirely against meeting with you. If he really wasn't interested he would have just simply ignored it. But he has gone to the bother of engaging with you and he has given you a means to contact him (via his estate agent works number) Maybe as a pp says I am projecting my own experiences. Maybe I am. But I can't help feeling that by approaching a man who is in a relationship you could be encouraging him to cheat. And I know you should trust your partner but who's to say how a person would react if someone is laying it on a plate for them. The whole thing doesn't sit right to me.
The OP didn’t know he was in a relationship did she....but of course blame the woman Hmm
LimeRedBanana · 16/08/2021 19:18

@Toomuchtodoo

I think the fact he messaged back shows that he's not entirely against meeting with you. If he really wasn't interested he would have just simply ignored it. But he has gone to the bother of engaging with you and he has given you a means to contact him (via his estate agent works number) Maybe as a pp says I am projecting my own experiences. Maybe I am. But I can't help feeling that by approaching a man who is in a relationship you could be encouraging him to cheat. And I know you should trust your partner but who's to say how a person would react if someone is laying it on a plate for them. The whole thing doesn't sit right to me.
He’s trying to make a sale.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Original poster
aurynne · 17/08/2021 04:36

"Sparklingbrook

Be funny if his wife came in to pick him up just as the Receptionist was handing the note over.'

It would be even funnier if the receptionist WAS his wife 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
Dashel · 17/08/2021 06:42

I think you did the right thing and I’m glad the receptionist passed it on. Shame he was taken but I think replying shows he has manners and that he probably understands that doing it took some courage.

Personally if I was single I would be pleased to get a note like that. It sounds like the receptionist could see that it wasn’t a threatening note as it wasn’t sealed and tbh is probably aware that life is too short not to take the chance. Actually I would still be pleased now, but would probably do as he did and text to say sorry I’m taken.

Good for you OP! Continue to grab opportunities where you can.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page