Things you wish you'd never bought

[goose1964]

I'll start with skinny co pornstar martini mix. Tasted incredibly sweet and synthetic. It stated use 1 part vodka to 3 parts mix. I tried that too sweet added more vodka so 50/50 just about drinkable. I drank another one with the reverse ratios, almost OK but I was so drunk I fell over and knocked the TV over.

The other downside was that it stank so much so that my empty glass had made the whole room stink.

@billydilly
He's gorgeous. Is he a bit of a handful?
I had bengals (both sadly over the rainbow bridge now). They were nuts and needed quite a lot of "management".

@FlakeorTwirl @DagenhamRoundhouse
The creaking sound on a soft close lid can be resolved by a squirt of wd40 on the hinges and tightening them up if you can.
Over time, use of the lid just loosens the hinges.

Slow cooker, just didn't do it for me everything tasted crap.

Bengals are generally quite stupid.

Breast implants when I was young! What an effing idiot I was. They are now rock hard, look false as hell and now I am older and wiser I am too scared have the revision surgery I desperately need. All because I felt I wasn’t good enough.. I wish I could go back and have a word with myself.

All cleaning products, as they only work if you use them. Letting them occupy the space under the sink doesn’t make the house any cleaner.

A real leather ruck sack from Next. It adapts from rucksack to duffle bag. Which is great. Except it fucking isn't great because the bastard thing does that when you fucking don't want it to. Oh no. You want to wear me as a back pack do you? Well whilst you get the right side of the strap into position I'm gonna go ahead and just slide down your fucking left side while you stand there looking like a constipated MALFUNCTIONING FUCKING ROBOT! OH AND I FUCKING STINK TO HIGH BASTARD HEAVEN.
Next you can shove my £109 up your arse.

1. Zoom tooth whitening at the dentist - did nothing

1. A mouthguard to stop fringing. £500(!) and I couldn’t tolerate wearing it

1. A poor quality necklace for £750 (on holiday)

@PaddingtonsHat

Instant pot. Cannot for the life of me get any flavour into anything. Sticking to slow cooker

Instant pot here too. Can't for the life of me figure out how to use it!!

That blackhead sucking thing that I saw advertised online. It's supposed to use suction to pull the spots out. I only used it once, got terrible bruising even on the gentlest setting. I looked like a stupid teenage with love bites everywhere. Why the hell did I buy something I saw advertised on Facebook? Idiot.

Coffee grinder. So bloody messy. And I'm probably a terrible heathen, but it doesn't taste any better than pre-ground coffee.

@Alcemeg @conxray He's completely bonkers and wild, it's like living with a fox. I researched the breed extensively so knew exactly what I was letting myself in for... I do love the little bugger though

Fink I bought that too and also felt really stupid. I then recently bought a metal blackhead remover thing which I haven't used either!

Totally agree with the pp who said wooden floors. Easier to keep clean my arse. Need hoovering then wiping down and then leaving to dry. They only get properly clean by getting down on your hands and knees. Look dirty 0.3 seconds later.

Karcher window vac. Left streaks on the windows, utterly pointless.

Dyson cordless. All the suction of a soggy paper straw.

Skoda. I want to love it but there is always something wrong with it, it’s cost me a bomb in repairs and you have to press the key twice to unlock the passenger doors (never ever actually unlocks the bastard car).

Steam mop. Pushing dirty water around.

@Garfunkle

A bread maker is the most useless thing I’ve ever bought. It’s never made an edible loaf of bread and takes up too much space in a cupboard. It’s going to a charity shop tomorrow - maybe someone else will be able to make a loaf of bread they can actually eat.

I’m surprised to see air fryer on the useless list. I use mine almost everyday.

We have used Panasonic breadmakers for 22 years now. Rarely get a dud loaf (apart from gluten-free attempts for my coeliac son).

My juicer ! I still cannot believe I bought that stuff. I’ve owned it for about 2 weeks now and I’ve only used it twice , both times, I hated the fibre I was washing from the fruits. I’ve now packed it back into the package to return.

I'd forgotten about my nutribullet

Used it for a couple of months and then forgot

Hearing Aids they cost £3000 (that was a half price deal)
Can’t wear them with a mask or my glasses because I fear I’ll lose them.

A campervan that cost more than a deposit for a house.
We romanticised the idea of going away in it every weekend and saving money whenever our son had an event in his chosen sport (at least twice a month) which would take us all over the country.
The reality was that, as a nurse, I work most weekends, our son sleeps like a bag of shite at home and was even worse in the roof of a van, and his sporting equipment didn't actually fit in the van without being stripped down.
A very expensive mistake

@dontgobaconmyheart

The dyson supersonic. I rarely splash our on anything but have long hair that I wash daily and a chronic illness so thought it would make life easier. Absolutely hated it. No faster or lighter than my usual dryer, but made my hair so tangled (even on low settings, which incidentally then meant it took even longer to dry) that I ended up hacking my hair to bits detangling it after.

The only great thing about it was how quiet it was.

Another vote for Dyson…I bought a cordless V7 initially loved it but just after the warranty ran out had no end of problems with shit batteries…I’m now on my third battery failure and it’s been hung up in the garage for 2yrs as I can’t be arsed to sort it!! Worst £400 quid I ever spent…complete waste of money!!

@Teddicus sounds awful. PM me your location if you want. I might have a brilliant recommendation for yoj if you need further follow up work

A house in Norfolk

Rollerskates. Despite being 48 and have arthritis and fibro I thought it would be fun to relive my teenage years so bought them in March. Rolled around the kitchen once. Decided they were much to dangerous and have been in the cupboard since. Also bought the safety kit too including padded shorts 🤣

The set of cast iron saucepans I asked my husband to collect from a shop in London and bring back to our house in Bucks. They were so heavy, I'm surprised he didn't abandon them on the train, and were too heavy for me to use. Straight to the charity shoo.
Also the Vax carpet shampooer which is so heavy it will remain sulking under the stairs for ever....

A £150 exercise machine that never worked, but ex said he could fix. Never did!

I love my bread machine, and also my cast iron pans, one of which I bought in a second hand shop in mint condition for a fraction of the retail price. (Not your local shop I'm sure, @wantanotherdog, as I'm in the US).