Things you wish you'd never bought

[goose1964]

I'll start with skinny co pornstar martini mix. Tasted incredibly sweet and synthetic. It stated use 1 part vodka to 3 parts mix. I tried that too sweet added more vodka so 50/50 just about drinkable. I drank another one with the reverse ratios, almost OK but I was so drunk I fell over and knocked the TV over.

The other downside was that it stank so much so that my empty glass had made the whole room stink.

The laptop stand/rest that's too small for my ancient laptop.

Oh and the air fryer - chips tasted like oven chips. I blame DH for that one, though - he's easily taken in by advertisements and thought the chips would taste like fried chips despite there being no oil. Nope.

@Garfunkle and @cariadlet. Before you give up entirely on your bread machine, mine has a cake mode. I can make a nice banana cake using less power than the oven, so I often use it for that.

Bread machine. Seemed like a lovely idea. But i was a prat.
We use ALOT of bread everyday buy it's for sandwiches and they need to be easy, ready cut, and fairly uniform shape.
Plus the loaves all had a bloody hole in the middle! I mean ....

Water Tooth Pick/Flosser
Hurts a lot and you have to do it naked because of all the water cascading down your front.

Large Inflatable Pool.
Don't do it.
There was a shallow end. The water never got above freezing. Then it filled up with bits off the trees. We bought a sieve. Then we bought a cover. We bought salts to stop it going manky. We all sat in it once.
When we admitted defeat and deflated it a year later the ground beneath it stunk so bad the neighbours thought the farmer over the back was muck spreading pure cow shit. We had to bleach the lawn. It took 18 months for the grass to tentatively creep back across the mess.

The spiraliser is the 2017 version of the fondue set

Fortunately the spiraliser came into fashion just after dh imposed a outright ban on further kitchen gadgets. Replacing broken ones is allowed but that’s all.
When the children were growing up we used the fondue set quite often as they loved it and it came out on the last night of the hols, when they had friends over and occasions when they were allowed to choose the menu etc.
Now they’ve grown up and left home we don’t use it at all so I’m waiting for grandchildren (I may have a long wait ahead).

@Laiste, your description of the pool made me laugh.....and more importantly, has put me off buying a pool !!!

@Winemewhynot

And there is something rather sad and dismal about courgette pasta

As a woman who has done keto pre wedding and post baby, never a truer word has been spoken

Yeah, 'courgetti' just make me want the real thing even more.

I'd rather just eat less of the 'unhealthy' food rather than pretend some sad ersatz version is 'just as good'. Same with 'guilt-free' ice cream. No thank you.

Water Tooth Pick/Flosser
Hurts a lot and you have to do it naked because of all the water cascading down your front.

I forgot that I had one of those, second time I used it it fetched my filling out, I haven't dared to use it since, I went back to the little brushes

I really like my dualit toaster and kettle.

But the shark vacuum cleaner that was really recommended on here is the biggest piece of crap which is currently gathering dust in my cellar. Miele all the way .

My smeg fridge looks fab, but really is style over substance

My cashmere jumpers. Fucking moths.

Water Tooth Pick/Flosser
Hurts a lot and you have to do it naked because of all the water cascading down your front

I forgot that I had one of those, second time I used it it fetched my filling out, I haven't dared to use it since, I went back to the little brushes

Fucking great. My new dentist told me to get one and I've just ordered the fucker.

Gaggia coffee machine

Garfunkle that's the one . I use the green pack white flour mainly and the wholemeal one as a 50:50 with white I'm not sure I could eat a pure wholemeal loaf .
Yeast is either Hovis or Sains but it needs to be well in date . I've had disappointing bread with out of date yeast .

I did buy one of those slicer stand thingies from Lakeland but I'm fairly good with a free style cutting technique .
I put the machine on overnight for lovely fresh bread for breakfast .
And it makes gorgeous dough for Cinnamon Buns , leave it to prove in the machine , the dough is pillow-ey soft . Then add flavouring , shape , prove , bake .
I am practicing for Christmas morning

I made ice cream many years ago when I was pregnant with DS , it had raw eggs in the recipe so I warmed the milk and added eggs like a thin custard . A load of faff and honestly not worth the effort .

@goingtotown

Philip Kingsley Elasticizer conditioning hair treatment, my hair was in worse condition after using it.

I'm surprised at this. I live PK Elastisizer! I use it once every two weeks. Usually on on the ends. I Leave it on for half an hour under a shower cap plus towel to create warmth and then wash with shampoo and conditioner. My hair looks and feels amazing afterwards. I think it's a product that's really suited to fine hair

love not like

Now I really want a fondue set.
Yes I need this. I'm sure we'll use it loads.

Here we go again

Karcher window cleaner. It just smears.

Carpet cleaner. Noisy, heavy and a right faff that didn't work properly. Only cleaned in tiny smeary patches after lots of effort. Back it went.

My flat. I can't sell it. 😞

@70isaLimitNotaTarget, ' free style cutting technique' made me laugh 😅

@TheMissingMango

Kenwood K-mix stand mixer. The bastard glass bowl is stuck (again) so I can't clean it. It needs to be binned but I hate to toss it. They once sent me a new ring for under the bowl, but I would need to replace it every time I use it.

Karcher window cleaner - such a faff and leaves streaks. It's easier to use spray and a cloth.

Instant Pot - getting to pressure etc means it doesn't actually save time.

However, our Dualit toaster is still going strong after 13 years! Surprised so many people hate theirs.

My Karcher window thing is used to suck up the litres of condensation in my upstairs windows all winter. I hadn't thought to use it as an actual cleaner!

QueenofLouisiana Another Shark vacuum to add to the pile... The tube blocks so frequently that I keep a garden cane in the larder especially for unblocking it and the gap between the suction chamber and the dust chamber blocks constantly.Other than that, it’s great.

I don't have a garden and had to buy a garden cane just to unblock the damn thing.

I took it to the tip and replaced it with a Hetty. Much better.

[quote Amdone123]@Laiste, your description of the pool made me laugh.....and more importantly, has put me off buying a pool !!![/quote]
I can't tell you what a let down the thing was. I really feel i need to talk this out.

Honestly the pictures of these things show everyone sitting laughing in the sun up to their arm pits in crystal clear water in a pool surrounded with a nice mowed lawn. Yes, lets have that!

Well: the reality is that unless you're going to actually pre-build a soft level base then the first thing you'll find after you've inflated it (hours) is that if you plonk it where you want it, start the hose going and find all the water collecting one end (the slightest incline in the land your house is on will cause this even if you think your lawn is flat). The places where it's lovely and level mean the pool is squashed up against:
the house
the bins
the place the dog likes to shit
the neighbours fence
the bottom of a tree
or right over the garden path.

When you've made your choice and it's full and you and the DCs have walked/run around it a few hundred times any grass which was around it is gone replaced by a muddy track around the pool. This gets worse every time someone gets in or out or splashes about. Mud and grass clipping covered feet swilling round in the water. Nice.

As previously mentioned IF it's ever sunny () the water will never warm up much and will instantly fill with leaves and drowning insects every time you leave the cover off for more than 3 seconds.

If the lawn recovers you then have the problem of not daring to mow or strim too near the bloody thing in case you puncture it. So you get long grass and weeds around it.

So actually you end up with DCs only splashing about in slightly muddy, grassy, cold, insecty water which is only 3 inches deep in places and spilling over the edge in others, with weird muddy mats chucked all round the place on rare sunny Saturdays. Every week seeing the lawn getting taller and taller round the pool and no one ever prepared to get down and hand trim round it

Then the finale - the big shit smelling patch of slime when you get rid of the thing

@Laiste I don't think you're not going to hit your sales target for the month are you?

@Laiste, am still laughing !

Children’s leggings made by a popular brand on Instagram. They were really thin material and faded in a 30 degree wash. Everyone was raving about them but IMO it was £20 not well spent.

@Hopdathelf

Dyson Airwrap. Total waste of money and takes up lots of space.

Agreed.