DP just threw a cup at DD

[MotherOfDemons]

I'll try to keep it short as I it just happened.

Kids got dropped off by their dad earlier. All has appeared to be fine, DP in a good mood as we all were. He went off to cook his dinner (kids eaten and I didn't want anything). DS and DD(6 and on the spectrum/ADHD) asked if they could have a fizzy drink and I said yes, go ask DP for cups as he is in the kitchen. They asked nicely but DP brought out two squashes. (To note, they only have one glass of fizzy a day as agreed with my ExH so hadn't been drinking fizzy all day every day).

That's fine, said to the kids to drink at least half of them then tip them away. DS drinks all of his and I manage to actually convince DD to drink 3/4 of hers which is an achievement in itself. I then ask her to tip what's left away and I will pour her a fizzy drink.

DP stopped her in the kitchen and asked why there was some left. I called through and said I had said they can drink half and tip the rest out. He kept questioning her so I said, again that I had said it was ok. He swore, snatched the cup from her, tipped it in the sink and threw it at her. Obviously she was terrified and burst into tears.

Was in a it of disbelief and asked him if he really just threw a cup at my daughter. He yelled at me that it wasn't AT her, it was NEAR her. I just walked away to go and console her.

He doesn't have form for this at all. He has rarely even yelled, never mind anything else, even when he is stressed. He has now stormed off out and I have zero clue where he is. I'm in complete shock. I was in an abusive relationship before this and it has triggered a panic attack and I can't calm down.

Need some perspective and to know whether or not I am overreacting by being absolutely livid with him.

opal I agree that op's situation was far more deserving than a one line word as you say, but perhaps the person posting was in a rush, felt the need to support or to simply be quite frank. It is not for us to moderate or judge what others post.

For you having a termination is worthy of more than one line, but for others it incapsulates how they feel.

Going through a pregnancy in this situation is going to be extremely challenging and stressful as well. There is no easy answer. Op is in a very very difficult position. One that could last for decades, a life time and at least one generation if not two. I am sure she feels the burden of the decision before her.

However it is really really important to understand that terminations can be the source of great relief, liberation and internal pressure - they can be life changing in a really positive way. Very few will make this decision without a care in the world, for most it is a very weighty and difficult decision, but once made it is perfectly possible to continue with great mental health, a better sense of direction and new purpose and for many it is an exit out of a very dangerous position/relationship.

I hope this thread has not been triggering for you. It is sometimes hard to talk about things like this

No it's not triggering, as I said it's something I have come to terms with, but I stick to my original post.

It's not something that should just be said in that manner, particularly with ops situation. Whilst I am sure that she does not want to be tied to this man forever, people seem to be forgetting that before this sudden turn of events it seemed to be a wanted baby. No matter how rushed you are, you shouldnt just write, I would have an abortion, particular to an op that was primarily about abuse. So we will have to agree to disagree how the post was written. I seriously thought it was a troll because it was written in such a way.

it still doesnt state that and thats for manchester anyway-it says 8-21 weeks can have a surgical abortion

No @ whynotwhatnot -read the whole document. Bottom of first page it says most hospitals will not perform a surgical after 13 weeks due to risks and will need to do it via independent. Jeez, I'm not making this up 🙄

@whynotwhatknot why are you trying to dispute with me when the evidence is there in black and white. I have plenty of knowledge on this, believe me. I wouldn't have opted for a medical at 13.5 weeks.

For crying out loud, can PP STFU about termination procedures?

Not singling any one poster out as you are all out of order here.
OP is a grown woman who can make her own mind up, without being hassled or upset by inter-personal spats & derailing on her own thread FFS.

OP - you have done marvellously, & behaved with dignity & assertion throughout this upsetting incident. Best of British to you & your DC :)

🌹

Glad he has gone, there is no excuse for his behaviour, and the fact that he remained like that after he came home, shows that even with adequate time to feel remorse about his actions hours after, he didn't, he carried it on the next day.

apologies for derailing hope you're OK op

Op, well done for putting your dc first.

Others arguing about abortions? Seriously?

Op hasn't been back.

I hope she is not in the process of overlooking what he did to her child, because in my experience a silence of this length of time without an update is never a good sign. I very much hope she is okay and safe.

@MotherOfDemons I hope your okay? It can be easy to go through a split and a pregnancy whilst getting your head around another abusive partner. Please feel free to speak on here if you need to vent or just for some support

I expect OP got pissed off by the people using her thread to have a pointless and insensitive argument. Hope you are okay, OP.

@beastlyslumber

I expect OP got pissed off by the people using her thread to have a pointless and insensitive argument. Hope you are okay, OP.

I actually thought when it started that OP probably wouldn't be back. I don't blame her. What a bloody thing to argue about on the thread of a woman in this situation - awful!

Threads always go off on a tangent when the op stops posting. The most likely outcome is that op has forgiven her dp and does not want to post an update.

Omg he threw a cup on the direction of your daughter and everyones saying leave him I dont get it? Did you leave him? This is ridiculous!

@Courtneyfish

Omg he threw a cup on the direction of your daughter and everyones saying leave him I dont get it? Did you leave him? This is ridiculous!

Is that helpful 3 months later??

Throwing it near her is the same punching the wall near your head

Over nothing ?
Pregnancy can trigger violence

@MotherOfDemons

Adding: ExH and I separated mutually. Neither of us were happy together and we are actually so much better as friends. I know that's a very strange thing for some people but it's not the 90s anymore where people have to break up on shit terms and go to mediation and court and get nasty with each other.

So pleased to read this OP, it seems such a rare situation these days. Your DC will feel far better off with their lovely dad than they were with xp

The OP hasn't been back since early August. Just saying.

Hi op, I completely understand where you’re coming from. Living with an abusive man changes what you think normal is.
I’m pregnant with my abusive ex’s baby.
He hurt my son (asd) , I found the strength to leave and I hope you will too.

Your poor Dd please ltb my Ds similar age would be terrified. You can’t change the past but you can change what happens from now keep your dc close and get that man away from them.

OP NOT BACK SINCE AUGUST