Serial killer name change

[weirdnamechange]

I really don't know what to do. I recently got married to a wonderful man and I have always wanted to take my partner's name (I am a feminist, it is a choice I want to make). Unfortunately my first name combined with his last name is the name of a very famous serial killer. Before we got married I said I would deal with that issue as it was important for us to have the same name (and I would like to be traditional and take his name), but now that it is time to change my name on bank cards etc I am getting cold feet. I can't wrap my head around introducing myself as this killer??!! My husband is upset as I am going back on our agreement..

What should I do? Could you change it knowing what that name means to most people?

You're a feminist.

You have a name.

But you are thinking of changing your name to that of a serial killer to make your husband happy?

These things do not compute.

@MyShoelaceIsUndone

Not the same but I knew a Sara Payne the same time that little Sara died And a Rosemary West It happens , it’s just a name but it’s your name. Tell people who remark to piss off

-Hi, I'm not late for the interview am I? -No you're right on time, name? -Rose West, as in the child killer, rapist and murderer. Catchphrase 'Under the patio.' -I'm afraid the post has been filled madam -Piss off -That's not very polite madam, the door is that way. Try not to kill anyone on your way out.

Nothing wrong with the name Myra. I think you should just own it

@weirdnamechange

Ok, so you have confirmed that I can't change my name. I'm happy for our children (if we have any), to have his last name, but I will keep hold of my maiden name. I think that even if I was to combine my surname with my husband's, it would still sound too similar to the serial killer.

My husband will be fine with my decision...he isn't an anti feminist monster...he just pointed out that said I would do something before we were married and now I have changed my mind. He will get over it fairly fast I'm sure...

This I can't understand. There are a lot of women these days who keep their name, which is great, but I know several who still give their children their husband's surname, even when they've kept their own. Why?

Apart from anything else, if they divorce one day, it's the woman who's most likely to end up with the kids.

If your name is Bonnie and his surname is Parker, you could always revert across the board to your formal birth certificate name, which I presume would be Bonstance?

Can't you both pick surnames from your family trees and double-barrel them? Who on earth would choose to be called Rose West?

I couldn't change my name to become the same as a serial killer. People will comment on it all of the time! Would he not consider changing his surname to yours or a new one? Or merging your two names to form one shared? Like if you are Smith and he is West you could become Mr & Mrs Westsmith?
Easy to say you will keep your name and he his, but if you are married people will automatically assume you are Mrs West, still comment on it, and you'll spend your life correcting them.

You could both change your surname. Rose East is a great name. Rose North is good too. (Myra Frontley... could work.)

Don't do it, OP.

If he feels strongly that you should have the same last name, ask him to change his then. You have a darn good reason to realise it's a bad idea for you to do so.

If he won't and he's still upset, frankly, he's a misogynistic arsehole. Think long and hard before you have children with him.

Look at it this way, your friends and family won’t care and then strangers may not even notice. For those strangers that do, there may be a slight snigger but hey, who cares??

Actually, if it's Mary Ann Cotton, I would go with it, surely that will scare your husband enough!

This wins the thread for me

I know someone who is married to an Ian Brady.

An old friend of mine was called Pamela Anderson. At the height of the famous pamelas career my friend would have the phone put down on her when she was trying to make appointments etc. People, usually men, would make comments about my friends appearance comparing her to the famous Pamela. It drove her up the bloody wall so I don’t think I could take the name of a serial killer either.

I knew someone who switched to using their middle name on marriage, because her first name was almost identical to her husband's, and she felt it would be confusing.

I always thought that must have been so strange for her though, to become known by an entirely different name.

I don’t think if so it. I worked with a woman whose married name was the ‘girls’ version of a U.K. shooter (her husband has the mama actual name). She hated using it, and hated it when people clocked her husbands name.

@Formaldeheidi

He could take your name. Problem solved.

This.

@BrozTito LOL

Love how everyone instantly assumed it must be Rose because Myra isnt common lol.

Could be any female killer in history from any country.

She might be Mary Ann and taking the name Cotton (actually theres loads of female killers historically called 'Mary Ann' so could be loads of surnames but Cotton is most famous thanks to the nursery rhyme) or she might be Amelia taking the name Dyer (one of the worst serial killers in history) there where also other serial killers called Amelia.

Maybe its not a british killer but someone like Elizabeth Bathory or Aileen Wornos etc...

Maybe she doesnt even truely mean 'serial' killer and is talking about someone iconic like Lizzy Borden.

Theres loads of option other than Myra and Rosemary.

If he won’t drop it I’d agree to revisit the subject after he spends a month using the name Fred West or Ian Brady when introducing himself to strangers.

Every taxi booking, restaurant reservation, barbers appointment etc should be made under the name of Jack Ripper, Ted Bundy or similar. Maybe change the name on his cv and see how he gets on with a few job applications as well….

Beverley Allet ?

I used to know a Liam Neeson. I put my foot in it though. I said "and you had the name first!" and he said, eh no, he had it for 7 years before i had it.

I was speechless to fic that.

My husband is upset as I am going back on our agreement.

What agreement? It is a woman's choice to change her name or not. There is no "agreeing" or otherwise, it is entirely YOUR choice what YOUR name is.

If it is Rose West (which I'm guessing it is) it's a shame you can't use it because is us actually a lovely name.

@burritofan

I would maybe double barrel instead Bundy-Shipman has a lovely ring to it.

I actually passed myself reading this. Sorry OP I do feel for you in this situation but this comment buckled me.

Your husband must be missing a chip to feel you should go ahead and use his surname even though it's (understandably) awkward and upsetting to take on the same name as a serial killer.

I haven't RTFT - but, how would you (and parents) feel about you changing your first name @weirdnamechange to whatever you like - or swapping your middle name with your first name (but not mentioning it anywhere IYSWIM)