Serial killer name change

[weirdnamechange]

I really don't know what to do. I recently got married to a wonderful man and I have always wanted to take my partner's name (I am a feminist, it is a choice I want to make). Unfortunately my first name combined with his last name is the name of a very famous serial killer. Before we got married I said I would deal with that issue as it was important for us to have the same name (and I would like to be traditional and take his name), but now that it is time to change my name on bank cards etc I am getting cold feet. I can't wrap my head around introducing myself as this killer??!! My husband is upset as I am going back on our agreement..

What should I do? Could you change it knowing what that name means to most people?

I think it's pretty unreasonable for him to be upset you won't take his name in this situation. I'd keep my maiden name or double barrel if that didn't also sound like the serial killer.

is the serial killer still alive ? i think its ok if they've died

Or yes, why can't he take yours?

Perhaps he takes your surname.

Or you both take a brand new one

Can’t he take your name if the priority is to both have same surname?

Noooooo. Either you keep your name or you both come up with a new surname together, if you’re that way inclined.

There’s no way I’d change my name that would make it into the same name as a serial killer. Your husband should be a bit more understanding. But if it was me, it would be a hard no.

Sounds like the best case I've ever heard of for both you using a double-barrelled surname..

He takes your name
You both choose a new surname
You keep your name

They are the options as I see it

I think your dh is a bit of a berk tbh if he can't get his head around you being the same name name as a serial killer.
Either come up with a new one or stay as you are.

No way of course not!

Combine surnames to both have a new one

He changes his name

Show him the thread!

Your husband is upset? What a baby.

No, no chance I would voluntarily change my name to that of a famous serial killer.

Nothing wrong with your birth name I take it? Keep it. Read a few threads on here. Countless women regret taking their husband's names. Never heard of a woman regretting keeping her own name

Either start calling yourself Rosie, hyphenate your surname, he takes your surname or you both come up with a brand new surname for you both. I know you said you'd take his surname and have now changed your mind but he must be able to see your reservations.

I know someone in real life called Peter Sutcliffe.

My husband is upset as I am going back on our agreement..

You might describe yourself as a feminist but he's not an ally.

I don't have the same last name as DH and it makes not a jot of difference un real life.

" @burritofan I would maybe double barrel instead
Bundy-Shipman has a lovely ring to it".

😂😂

If it is Rose West, then there would be absolutely no way I would ever change it and subject myself to that in my life, work etc. I would also be unhappy that your DH would expect you to! Does he seriously not see the position you would be in?!

OP my first name is unusual and the comment and mispronunciations can drive you bloody mad after a while, especially when so much is done over the phone now.

Do you really want to be Mrs Ted Bundy or Ed Gein for the foreseeable? The tinkly laugh through gritted teeth will wear thin very quickly.

Can you do a mix of names eg Tein (Ted and Gein) something like that? If it's Rose West, do you REALLY want to be associated with that piece of shit?

He doesn't get to demand you change your name nor get annoyed that you have decided not to! Frankly, he can change his name to your surname if matching means that much to him. Sure that hasn't even been mooted as a possibility though. I personally wouldn't change my name to the name of a serial killer especially if it was Rose West as the name will be forever synonymous with the heinous crimes she committed.

I must admit Bundy-Shipman is growing on me.

It’s not your husband’s name, so quite frankly he doesn’t get a say.

I didn’t change my name because I don’t like my husband’s surname. His surname is not that of a serial killer. My husband, rightly, said it’s my name and I should be called what I’m comfortable with. DH didn’t want to change his name to mine (easier to spell, easier to pronounce), so why should I change my name. If it matters so much to your husband, then he should change his name to yours or suggest a new surname.

I got my husband to think about changing his name, not saying he had to do it just the process of it. Going to the bank, changing everything. Introducing himself in meetings and everyone knowing his new name and thinking it gave them a right to butt into his personal life. Sat in the doctors surgery and not recognising your new name. Getting used to a new signature. Now get your husband to imagine that and then imagine he’s also introducing himself as a notorious serial killer. In every meeting. When he’s sat in the doctors surgery and ‘Harold Shipman’ comes up, the looks as he walks out of the waiting room. The double look that the GP does as they check his name. If he then can’t understand why you wouldn’t want his name after that, then he’s a twat.

Oh no, if it's something like Rose West then you really can't change your name. Keep your maiden name, or both choose something completely new.

You can't. Either he changes his name to yours, or you choose a new surname for the both of you or you keep your own name.

Your DH is being v unreasonable to want you to change your name so it is the same as a notorious serial killer. He needs to get over it and you don't change your name.

Oh and I have some friends who for different reasons didn't want either of their names, so they just chose a different one and both changed it (I guess there may have been some connection but maybe they just picked it!) it is a lot less offensive then either of theirs. Can you do that?