Name changed for this because it is so personal to DS. T-rex in the supermarket/ making a chicken last a month etc.
DS is nearly 11. He is lovely- funny, bright, popular at school and a general pleasure to be with, but... he's SO work avoidant.
He goes to a lovely prep school where the focus is totally on effort not results and on being a decent person. His latest school report basically says he is doing the bare minimum. We already knew this based on his attitude to homework and his thoughts about school. His results are still ok- average to above- but he could clearly do much better if he tried. He's got entrance tests for his next school coming up and he'll do whatever he can to avoid doing any practice for them.
He does a sport which he's doing really well in- been selected for a regional and national junior squad. However, this is largely because we turn up to the training with him and he's been very lucky to have superb coaching right from day 1 so he is technically good. He doesn't want to do any fitness work at home, doesn't think for himself about what he needs to work on, doesn't want to watch the sport being played at the Olympics.
DH and I both work hard- full time jobs at a senior level and we've both voluntarily taken on extra qualifications which he's seen us do the work for, so he does have hard-working role models.
We've removed his phone (which he had because he walks to school by himself), access to youtube and gaming because we thought they were just so appealing and instantly gratifying that he would always choose them over doing things he 'needs' to do. It hasn't really made any difference. He still tries every tactic in the book to avoid doing things he needs to do. He just doesn't seem to be willing to work at anything.
We've really failed somewhere.