How’s this for entitled..?

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

22 year old colleague/friend, injury, I won’t go into it.

No one to drive her to A&E. My DP drives her there (with me). I sit with her for almost 8 hours waiting to be seen.

Eventually I tell her that I need to go home (I needed medication I’d left behind), I’ll sort out a lift for her in the morning (A&E about 15 miles away), but pretty sure she’ll be admitted.

Roll on early this morning. She’s been discharged.

My DP can’t pick her up so I tell her I will pay for a taxi (probably about £50).

Her mother then contacts me. Absolutely fuming that her daughter is ‘stranded’. I point out that I offered to pay for a taxi but for some reason that doesn’t count.

I tell her to jog on.

Another load of shitty messages from the colleague for telling said mother to jog on.

Seriously?

I spend most of the night in A&E with someone looking after them and there’s no thanks, just a barrage of abuse from their mother.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Is it me? Seriously. Am I in the wrong?

Or are people just like this now?

It's not unproductive, @TheLightSideOfTheMoon, you're meeting mumsnetters who have your back, and learning a bit about yourself and how to toughen up!

OP, do you do this a lot, as it's way beyond what most of us wold do. The lift, fair enough, but 8 hours waiting? Did the CF ever say pease go home, I'm ok? Did you ask if she have family? Did you enjoy being needed ? Maybe you need to think what's going on there, as lovely as it was.

Get some power and self respect back and say you expect thanks and apologies from both CF and the mum. You will feel a whole lot better.

No, I do not enjoy being needed.

It’s a massive PITA!

Seriously.

Trust me, I got nothing out of it.

That’s even madder, OP. So it wasn’t even an injury that needed immediate treatment, or that would have precluded getting to the hospital on public transport?

And when you say GPS were ‘unhelpful’, do you mean they wouldn’t see her or didn’t think the infection was concerning? Isn’t that what a walk-in/urgent care centre is for, rather than A and E?

I’d screenshot the message and resend it to both of them saying I took you to A&E, waited for hours and then offered to pay for your taxi home and you’re acting like a victim! Don’t ever ask me for any favours again you ungrateful bitch.

She’d already said her family couldn’t help.

But I vaguely know them and they can also be a bit entitled.

Her mother has been rude to me on a few occasions.

So this woman (and a 22 year old is a fully grown adult. Many of us were living independently at that age and some with our own children), had a problem injury. Rather than calling her mother she called you. You then took it on yourself to help her.

Advise yes, drive her to A&E and drop her off, perhaps but this isn’t your problem. If the mum is so over protective then perhaps she should have sorted it.

We don’t have urgent care or walk ins around here.

Nearest A&E is 15 miles away.

She seemed to be really struggling, genuinely in pain. I do think she was in the right place.

Totally ungrateful! Just ignore them

Whether your actions were right or wrong op, it doesn't warrant being abused.
You did what you thought was right for the situation at the time, unfortunately your kindness was met with abuse.
You learned a lesson so ignore them and enjoy your day.
Users are losers. ( Yes, I'm aware that makes me sound about 12 )

I would use this as a perfect opportunity to go low contact with her/not do her any more favours.

If she is this entitled and knows you are willing to help then people like her get more and more cheeky and entitled so it’s good to nip it in the bud and make sure you don’t help her again.

Yes, I do think you went way over the top in helping, thereby feeding the entitlement, but the only appropriate response from the ‘friend’ and her mother would have been gratitude!

Some people are just shit.

How is she your responsibility?

Also, where do you live that you were allowed to sit with her for 8 hours? My DP went to A&E with severe chest pains a few weeks ago and I wasn't allowed in with him!

Well you know what to say next time - it’s a no DP is busy - sorry

If anything you have learnt a lesson here, bank it and use it next time.

I wouldn't be leaving it there. I'd be demanding an apology from the mother for her rudeness (I really hope you didn't pay for the taxi in the end).

I would have told them both to fuck off and hang around for patient transport or use how ever many buses it would take.
You went above and beyond.

I bet they ask for the money at some point.

I feel so disappointed.

I’m also shattered.

And it upsets me that I’m other people’s heads I’m the bad guy.

OP, you were taken advantage of, sadly.

Stop paying for other people's taxis. And it's not your fault that she is 'skint'

Now I’ve talked about it I’m actually really upset.

I bet they ask for the money at some point

On what basis though?

If they kept her waiting 8 hours it wasn't serious enough for your to wait with her that long let alone sort out her journey home. She can sort herself out, she's a grown up and so presumably is her mum.

I once had to pay £70 for a taxi from A&E, having also been given a lift there - it was a long way through country lanes and the driver stopped 3 times for me to be sick as I reacted to the morphine they'd given me. He even provided mints and wet wipes. It was rubbish and meant fairly basic food shopping that week but all I wanted to do was go home to bed and gobble down pain killers.

Put the pasta down, brew a coffee and have some toast and chocolate spread if you have it. That's my go-to to de stress.

Don't give these CFs any more of your time or money