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Original poster

DS and his holiday and refusing to bail him out

328 replies

Namechangedbecauseofthis · 24/07/2021 23:16

Ds is due to go on holiday in 13 days. He has only just realised in order to travel he needs to purchase a private PCR test.

I say only just realised I’ve been telling him for months to either move the holiday or make sure he has enough money for the test.

Two days ago he could have moved the holiday (TUI) free of charge.

The holiday was cheap, but now not cheap with the added PCRs on top.

Some of his mates are now making noise about losing their money if it can’t be changed, a couple of them are still going to go and take the PCR tests they have the funds.

We are not well off financially at all, however I could bail him out and pay for the PCR tests. Part of me thinks do this, the other part of me thinks. No I told him to bloody sort it and this is a shitty way to learn the hard way but he needs to grow up.

I’m not sure why they have left it so late, I can’t even wrap my head around that. I think lead booker just thought they would lose their deposits. The holiday needs to be paid, however they haven’t paid the final payment.

Can anyone advise? Can TUI move the holiday outside the 14 days? Should I bail him out? If they don’t pay for the holiday will they be liable for the cost still.

OP posts:
Guavafish · 25/07/2021 08:05

If you don’t have the money then you can’t loan it to him. It’s a shame .. but life is tough.

I hope he learns from this mistake in the future!

Original poster
Namechangedbecauseofthis · 25/07/2021 08:10

I have the money for the PCR test. I don’t have the money for the potential shit show that could happen and neither does he.

Which is why I can’t take the risk. Again a hard lesson for him to learn but I asked him and asked him. He has had prior warning.

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 25/07/2021 08:10

He has cash available, it's going to have to come from his holiday spends. He'll just have to miss a big night out, or not buy any duty free.

There is a solution, he doesn't need to lose his holiday.

PercyPigandMe · 25/07/2021 08:12

Wouldn't bother me, I'd just pay it. He's young and still learning about this stuff. Of course this is dependent on his attitude towards me in general but I've got older teens and they need help and support - and yep, that includes bailing them out from time to time.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 25/07/2021 08:13

@Namechangedbecauseofthis

I have the money for the PCR test. I don’t have the money for the potential shit show that could happen and neither does he.

Which is why I can’t take the risk. Again a hard lesson for him to learn but I asked him and asked him. He has had prior warning.

Good for you OP!

The potential for a huge spiral of costs for you is very real.

Inanun2 · 25/07/2021 08:14

All you posters saying let him sink, all just have toddlers/ small children ?

I think when your children turn 18 you will not think that. He’s just finished school, had a rough 18 months and missed all the normal independence learning he would have due to restrictions. You do not just cut them off once they have had an 18 birthday !

Those of you who say no to help, remember you may have children at uni in the future and will have a rude awakening as you will be expected (by government) to top up their maintenance loan (unless they are entitled to full loan) until they finish at 21/22. (Ie. If they only get min loan that’s about £5,500 per annum cash each child so a little more than £90 for a test)

I personally would support him and help if I was in the position that could ( if moneys tight and you can not afford it that’s a different and he will understand the position) but do not punish him if you can help him out, what value is there in that ?

Henneypenny7 · 25/07/2021 08:21

I think your been quite mean if you can afford it who wants to cause there children stress and potentially have them miss out on a holiday at 19 wtf

Frenchfancy · 25/07/2021 08:25

You are not being mean, you are being realistic.

Original poster
Namechangedbecauseofthis · 25/07/2021 08:26

Henneypenny7

I think your been quite mean if you can afford it who wants to cause there children stress and potentially have them miss out on a holiday at 19 wtf

@Henneypenny7 what happens when if he is out there he tests positive and has to isolate? I don’t have the money to bail him out for that.

To be transparent we are a low income family and he gets the full maintenance loan for uni which should tell you just how little money I actually have. I saved for months to give him a sum of money for his 18th which he will be throwing away because he and his mates never bothered to look at the situation despite for months me telling him too.

OP posts:
Guavafish · 25/07/2021 08:26

I personally would pay for PCR test as a loan.

Following that- you warn him you have no additional money for holiday spending. It will be up to him to get that money. I remember at that age, I use to work and to any job odd to get money…

Is that not something he can do?

Cosybelles · 25/07/2021 08:29

You're doing the right thing - this could be a defining moment in his life!

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 25/07/2021 08:33

Are you sure he still has a holiday ?you said they haven't paid the balance and they are going in 2 weeks time? TUI need the balance long before this - that would be cancelled in my agency?
Also , only the lead passenger will be allowed to discuss the booking, due to GDPR they won't talk to you about moving it.

It frustrating but he is only 18 , I'd cut him some slack and help out ,if not financially then arranging his tests. They will all have a lot of paperwork to do as well, are they really up for it ? If they don't complete their test to return or passenger locator form they could be denied boarding on return.

Orf1abc · 25/07/2021 08:33

Not sure if anyone has already mentioned, but with TUI the final payment is due six weeks before travel. Are you sure they've not paid it yet?

Original poster
Namechangedbecauseofthis · 25/07/2021 08:35

No they haven’t paid, yesterday was due date for payment. Ds got the online booking details so I’ve seen them.

It won’t allow him to change the booking as presumably that ship has sailed.

OP posts:
toolazytothinkofausername · 25/07/2021 08:36

Pay for the PCRs, but over time he should pay you back.

Aposterhasnoname · 25/07/2021 08:36

Not read the full thread but is there a reason he can’t get the Tui test pack for £60?

HTH1 · 25/07/2021 08:37

I’m going to go against the grain here. I would pay for the test (gift, not loan) and bung a bit of spending money his way, just as a one off. We would have a talk about being more responsible next time though and he could do a few chores to help eg mowing lawn/cleaning car and windows/fixing stuff around the house.

People don’t magically grow up the second they hit 18, God knows I didn’t. It can take a while to learn common sense and how to adult properly. He will really remember and appreciate it if you do help him.

Darbs76 · 25/07/2021 08:38

I’d be angry at my son but I wouldn’t see him lose all that money. Boys are notoriously rubbish at sorting out this kind of thing. I’d have told my son to give me the details and done it all for them. But then I’m soft!

Guavafish · 25/07/2021 08:38

Yes Tui offer PCR test for a cheaper price

TigsytheTiger · 25/07/2021 08:40

TUI have test package deals that are cheaper than any I could see elsewhere online, he just needs to figure which one he needs.

I would loan him the money if you can afford to, but also talk through the possible scenarios when he's away and what he would do, ie positive lateral flow test or change from Amber to Red.

Orf1abc · 25/07/2021 08:40

No they haven’t paid, yesterday was due date for payment. Ds got the online booking details so I’ve seen them.

So they've missed the due date?

pollylocketpickedapocket · 25/07/2021 08:41

@HollowTalk

How old is he?

If he's 18+ I think I'd let him deal with it himself and if he needs the money, it should be a loan.

Yes make him pay it back. I couldn’t be so cruel as to see him lose out.
billy1966 · 25/07/2021 08:42

OP,
Good call not to pay.

It doesn't sound as if he has the spending money for a holiday and you don't need the stress of calls from him that he has run out.

He probably needs at least £50 a day while there.

I would be sympathetic but firm.

Next time he needs to listen to you, not completely ignore you and then run to you to fix his mess.

I would be sympathetic but very firm on this.

He needs to learn from this.

Oblomov21 · 25/07/2021 08:43

TUI have loads of covid test packages. With Chronomics for £20, Klarity, Screen4 and Randox, depending if it's Amber or Green.

All airlines have packages.

Star81 · 25/07/2021 08:44

Firstly. Where is he going on holiday to and is he double vaccinated ?