DS and his holiday and refusing to bail him out

[Namechangedbecauseofthis]

Ds is due to go on holiday in 13 days. He has only just realised in order to travel he needs to purchase a private PCR test.

I say only just realised I’ve been telling him for months to either move the holiday or make sure he has enough money for the test.

Two days ago he could have moved the holiday (TUI) free of charge.

The holiday was cheap, but now not cheap with the added PCRs on top.

Some of his mates are now making noise about losing their money if it can’t be changed, a couple of them are still going to go and take the PCR tests they have the funds.

We are not well off financially at all, however I could bail him out and pay for the PCR tests. Part of me thinks do this, the other part of me thinks. No I told him to bloody sort it and this is a shitty way to learn the hard way but he needs to grow up.

I’m not sure why they have left it so late, I can’t even wrap my head around that. I think lead booker just thought they would lose their deposits. The holiday needs to be paid, however they haven’t paid the final payment.

Can anyone advise? Can TUI move the holiday outside the 14 days? Should I bail him out? If they don’t pay for the holiday will they be liable for the cost still.

Think @Pieceofstring hit the nail on the head. I’ve taught 16- 18 year olds for over a decade and would say this is completely normal behaviour- not a reflection on your parenting.
They’re still growing up and Covid has meant that valuable experiences reinforcing certain skills have been delayed (getting a job, driving lessons, preparing for A Levels/ GCSE exams).

Only you know your son, but if he’s showing remorse I would help out if you can afford it.

He's an adult fgs and you're right, he does need to learn so you shouldn't be bailing him out. If he can't afford the tests, he can't afford to go abroad.

I've got a holiday booked and honestly I've been so confused about all the testing requirements that change daily it feels like. You've got a 19yo going on his first holiday with his mates - is it any wonder he's got overwhelmed and made a mistake?

If it was my son id lend him the money to be repaid when he gets back.

Can't he buy the Tui testing package? They are well priced

Did you read about the 18 year old girls on holiday who had to take a test for the return flight, one of them was positive so they all got hauled off in a Greek police car and put in a quarantine hotel that they have to pay for. If he can't phone tui himself and can't afford a test then how will he cope in a scenario like that?

I’m with you Op on not wasting the money spent already.

Going away is a big deal and it’s a massive learning experience. Make sure he knows how to save costs out there ; empty water bottle at the airport so he’s not spending £££ on plastic bottles, finding a debit/credit card without foreign exchange charges etc,

The fact he really doesn’t have enough money to go away is the learning curve, not booking PCR tests on which the advice has changed over the months.

Someone said he has nearly 2 weeks to earn some money. I’d get him looking at casual work pronto. Give him the money but make sure he knows it has to be paid back over the summer,

That’s our fear French. We have 2 teens and it’s rife in their peer group every day we hear of local friends of friends of theirs testing positive. We are usually quite bullish and love to travel and got away last summer and wouldn’t judge anyone but I can imagine that scenario that a teen tests positive while we’ve over there and we get stuck with resentful teens in some grim hotel at vast expense. Too big a risk for us.

Loan him the money. If it remains unpaid them he does not get Christmas and or birthday presents and their cost is taken off the loan value. Repeat each year until repaid.

Yes I meant to add that going away in a pandemic was also part of the learning curve.
Goodness knows how you have fun on holiday at 19 without the risk of catching Covid being sky high.

Has he had a jab already? Can he squeeze in a first or second to lessen the risk of spreading it.

Seen you do not have the money.

Does he have any valuables he can sell like a bike or games console?

A hard lesson but one very worth learning for adult life ahead.

Yes, he needs to sell his stuff ASAP to make the money.

As PP suggested I thought TUI did really cheap tests if you were going on their package? Has he checked that?

@Namechangedbecauseofthis

That is the outgoing test then it’s the 2 day, 5 day 8 day one and not sure of those costs.

Have by read whole thread but TUI do excellent packages on this. Last time I travelled amber with them under old rules it was £90, IIRC, for x4 tests!

Prepared to be blasted, but I feel quite sorry for him. I have two DS’. And this kind of thing would be quite typical of one of them. I would help him though. The youngsters have had a really rough time with the pandemic. No doubt he has learned from it. We all make mistakes when we are young. Don’t be hard on him, he’s upset enough by the sound of things.

People seem to have missed, or be oblivious to the possibility, that the OP doesn't have the money either.

It's not only the first PCR test to pay for, it's the follow up tests, the spending money, which her son doesn't seem to have factored in either, and the risk that he tests postive while on holiday and incurs additional costs as a result.

You can't lend someone money, if you don't have it yourself.

@Thewinterofdiscontent

Yes I meant to add that going away in a pandemic was also part of the learning curve. Goodness knows how you have fun on holiday at 19 without the risk of catching Covid being sky high.

Has he had a jab already? Can he squeeze in a first or second to lessen the risk of spreading it.

(though to be fair, it’s probably more than sky high in the UK than elsewhere)

@Namechangedbecauseofthis he can get the amber package from TUI for £50, this is for all tests he will need, assuming it’s an amber country he is going to, amber plus country is £90. Check out the TUI website, it’s all on there

As an ex travel agent and holiday rep several things are entering my mind

1. GDPR Tui will only speak to the lead passenger regarding the specific holiday
2. Holiday balances are paid way before 14 days before travel (though I'm no longer a travel agent so things may be different especially with Covid)
3. If any of the group don't travel due to the testing that will likely increase the cost of the holiday for others eg apartment booked for 6, only 4 go, the cost of the apartment remains the same so the 4 will get the shortfall
4. What was he going to do for spending money if he doesn't have money for a test? I helped many guests get money transfers from home or but flights home as they ran out if money and couldn't afford to stay. Often the person in the group with the most money ended up spending their money on food and drinks for mates
5. What about his test to return? How will he pay for that? Is he responsible enough to sort it!
6. Overjoyed he has insurance, I had many guests (of all ages) have accidents or fall ill without insurance and their medical bills cost thousands

Please consider if your son is responsible enough to travel. I saw too many kids turn up without any common sense and over do it

Good luck

If he booked with tui, they have deals with chronomics for the tests you need. It's subsidised by tui.
So presume not double jabbed.
If he needs a pcr fit to fly test it's £40, if he can use lft it's £10.
Of he is going to green country the lft and day 2 tests £20
If he is going to a Amber Country lft, day 2 and day 8 £50.

So max could be £90, best could be £30.

He has loads of time to organise these.
Is it really such a big drama?

@Namechangedbecauseofthis

I’ve said he needs to look at whether he can actually afford to be there when he is out there. If he can’t then maybe better losing the money for the trip.

Some friends of mine have just paid £1200 for a family of 4 for PCR tests. It's unclear if that's just outgoing tests or both ways...(so £300pp)

A separate friend (also family of 4) who has returned was bemoaning the fact they had to pay twice for one test as it came back invalid, so be aware. She didn't tell me costs, but I think it was a single test they had to pay again for again.

You’re doing the right thing by leaving him to sort it, OP.

He’s ignored it, ignored it and ignored it under the assumption that you will come and sort it all out for him.

You can’t loan him the money because 1) you can’t afford it and 2) I get the impression he isn’t working.

If he is too immature to make a phone call and sort this himself without expecting his mum to sort it for him, he is not mature enough to go abroad without parental supervision.

And like a previous poster has mentioned, what if he catches COVID out there and has to pay for a hotel quarantine in after the holiday? I’m guessing you’ll be expected to pay for that too.

He cannot go. Simple. He should have got his arse in gear when he booked the holiday. Got a job. Saved money. Got a Covid contingency plan.

It’s an expensive and sad lesson to learn but he needs to learn it.

I think loan him the money, but he’s also got 2 weeks to earn money! Is he any good at odd jobs/cleaning/ironing/weeding? If he puts a notice somewhere like next door.co.U.K. I’m sure he’d get enough odd jobs to do to get some cash together

I would sit down with him looking at his budget and what needs to be covered by the money available - incl food, drink, fun activities and covid tests.
Then looking at ways of making up for the shortfall - ideas should come from him. Once he has some workable ideas, I'd offer him a bailout loan that you can afford.
He then has to decide if he can afford the holiday .

In a similar position with my 20yr old son!
He's booked a holiday, goes in 6 weeks, I have been telling him since he booked it that his passport has expired, I remind him constantly. No application done yet. Every time I mention it he'll say will you help me later, and every time I say I'm happy to help once the younger ones are in bed but he never bothers.

In my opinion if he isn't mature and organised enough to sort out his travel arrangements then he isn't mature enough to go. I'm not prepared to do everything for him this end as I can't do much when he's gone so he needs to prove he's capable of doing these things himself.

I'm my opinion you should encourage and support but absolutely do not do everything for them at that age. They need to learn and won't learn if they know you'll always bail them out. If he was in trouble then I'd do all I could, but this isn't life or death, this is a holiday.

Might be the holiday if a life time. Despite being 40 I still regularly think about the holiday I went on at the same age. I’d be tempted to bail him out if I could afford it.