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Original poster

DS and his holiday and refusing to bail him out

328 replies

Namechangedbecauseofthis · 24/07/2021 23:16

Ds is due to go on holiday in 13 days. He has only just realised in order to travel he needs to purchase a private PCR test.

I say only just realised I’ve been telling him for months to either move the holiday or make sure he has enough money for the test.

Two days ago he could have moved the holiday (TUI) free of charge.

The holiday was cheap, but now not cheap with the added PCRs on top.

Some of his mates are now making noise about losing their money if it can’t be changed, a couple of them are still going to go and take the PCR tests they have the funds.

We are not well off financially at all, however I could bail him out and pay for the PCR tests. Part of me thinks do this, the other part of me thinks. No I told him to bloody sort it and this is a shitty way to learn the hard way but he needs to grow up.

I’m not sure why they have left it so late, I can’t even wrap my head around that. I think lead booker just thought they would lose their deposits. The holiday needs to be paid, however they haven’t paid the final payment.

Can anyone advise? Can TUI move the holiday outside the 14 days? Should I bail him out? If they don’t pay for the holiday will they be liable for the cost still.

OP posts:
pam290358 · 26/07/2021 17:25

I think I would offer to lend him the money but be clear not to expect birthday, Xmas presents if he doesn’t pay it back.

Mollythenia · 26/07/2021 17:27

Just a bit of advice. My son got back from Ibiza on Saturday. He went when it was green. Got covid over there was moved to a 2 star hell hole covid hotel. Locked in a room for 8 days with shocking food and no contact. He has flown back now but has to take a day 2 covid test which will probably still be positive as it often is for 90 days post covid. He is already isolating and paying out £150 for two tests. But if he’s positive we will all have to isolate. Even though he had covid 14 days ago. So I would just make sure everyone is fully aware of what can happen. As it was absolutely awful.

Whu020 · 26/07/2021 17:28

I should think he hasn't paid cos he knew you might. Yes he's a xxx but they've had it rough the young ones let him go and have fun, hopefully he will come back with no sexual diseases!

Leedsfan247 · 26/07/2021 17:30

Let him stew and he might just listen to his parents next time.

Bail him out he will learn nothing and will continue to allow you to bail him out.

Tessabelle74 · 26/07/2021 17:33

I find 19 year olds now are at the maturity level we reached at 16/17. I left home at 19 and had my own home, I can't see my 23 year old managing it. I appreciate that technically he's an adult, but for a first holiday abroad I'd have expected to hold his hand and guide him through the process, that was before the added covid complications. He will have to pay for the holiday regardless, but if he can't afford the tests, how is he going to eat etc when he's away? I'd be more worried about that and I don't think I'd let him go

lindyloo57 · 26/07/2021 17:37

Lend him the money without interest, why would you charge him to lend some money, he is your son , I often help my children out if they need a loan, i don't add interest.

Lindylindyloo · 26/07/2021 17:37

Quite likely he’ll have left home soon & you’ll never forgive yourself being mean now. But a loan & a smile - it’s been so difficult for them

Lucyk1 · 26/07/2021 17:38

Has he got enough money for spending when on holiday, food etc?

If he can't afford the rest, how will he afford a teat if he needs one on return. What if rules change while he's out there? What if he gets ill and needs a test and it's positive and has to stay for 10 days on his own. You. Might find yourself footing more than what you think. He hasn't covered his expenses

NeedNewKnees · 26/07/2021 17:39

A great outcome, OP, and I’m sure he’s learned from the scare.

Mirw · 26/07/2021 17:41

If you bail him out when does he learn? Bank of Mum then becomes for life... Happened with 2 of my brothers... Always looking for Mum to bail them out - car repairs, motorbike repairs, honeymoon costs, top up for mortgage deposit. Then Mum had no money and disaster... Can their sisters help. No fracking way... Pettit lips and snot from them and their kids is not nice but thick skin and no bank if Mum has always helped with the No word.

So just say No.

anon666 · 26/07/2021 17:48

I'd pay it to be honest, not without a fuss though.

It's easy to forget just how hard it is to get your act together as a teenager. My kids are really sensible minded but they're always getting into scrapes because they just forget stuff or don't understand.

It's super annoying but it would be really nice of you and I think an opportunity to do something nice for your kids can be a good way of cementing positive relationships.

X

DoubleTweenQueen · 26/07/2021 17:52

@Namechangedbecauseofthis That’s a really good result, all round. Hope they’ve leaned a useful lesson on the way too.

Localocal · 26/07/2021 17:54

Loan him the money for the tests.

Diva66 · 26/07/2021 17:57

Glad you got it changed to next year.

Dontwatchfootball · 26/07/2021 17:57

Sounds like he learned a difficult lesson. I would loan him the money to salvage the holiday but make clear this wont happen again. The part of your brain which assesses time is the last to form and doesnt finish until mid 20s. They just see things differently at this age.

AnnieSnap · 26/07/2021 18:04

@Namechangedbecauseofthis

I think the thing that I am most upset about and I am I know being dramatic and taking this personally. So please don’t pile on.

He sees how much I struggle for money and he has let it get to this bloody stage.

I think you have made a carefully considered, reasonable decision. It’s a different situation for parents who are comfortably off. Also, your son has said himself that he doesn’t know if he has enough money for being out there on holiday. You did your best. You kept reminding him. Don’t reproach yourself.
Original poster
Namechangedbecauseofthis · 26/07/2021 18:05

Thanks to everyone who has answered. Holiday has been changed to next year. They have also made the full payment bar the changes so it’s all sorted.

OP posts:
DoubleTweenQueen · 26/07/2021 18:11

@Namechangedbecauseofthis I’m mostly glad because I imagine your stress levels have gone down somewhat Flowers

Leedsfan247 · 26/07/2021 18:12

100% correct

momtoboys · 26/07/2021 18:13

I have 5 sons within a few years of your sons age. They are idiots right now. They just can't help it (which is at least what I have been telling myself). Although I'm sure I would feel the same way you do, I would probably loan him the money.

Mojomarvel · 26/07/2021 18:20

I believe TUI are offering test packages from £20

Zelaidee · 26/07/2021 18:22

If he goes to an amber country he well have to prepay for a 2 day test only , anyhow pretty expensive

Original poster
Namechangedbecauseofthis · 26/07/2021 18:27

Cancel the cheque GrinGrin

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 26/07/2021 18:29

I know he is over 18 but kids are still very young particularly with no having any experience prior to this. If he cannot move or cancel the holiday I would pay for the tests.

Roselilly36 · 26/07/2021 18:39

That’s good, pleased there have been a good outcome for your DS. I am sure he has learned a lot.