DS and his holiday and refusing to bail him out

[Namechangedbecauseofthis]

Ds is due to go on holiday in 13 days. He has only just realised in order to travel he needs to purchase a private PCR test.

I say only just realised I’ve been telling him for months to either move the holiday or make sure he has enough money for the test.

Two days ago he could have moved the holiday (TUI) free of charge.

The holiday was cheap, but now not cheap with the added PCRs on top.

Some of his mates are now making noise about losing their money if it can’t be changed, a couple of them are still going to go and take the PCR tests they have the funds.

We are not well off financially at all, however I could bail him out and pay for the PCR tests. Part of me thinks do this, the other part of me thinks. No I told him to bloody sort it and this is a shitty way to learn the hard way but he needs to grow up.

I’m not sure why they have left it so late, I can’t even wrap my head around that. I think lead booker just thought they would lose their deposits. The holiday needs to be paid, however they haven’t paid the final payment.

Can anyone advise? Can TUI move the holiday outside the 14 days? Should I bail him out? If they don’t pay for the holiday will they be liable for the cost still.

Yes seen your update. Nice one

Glad he's not lost his birthday money. Very good of TUI to move it after the deadline.

TUI are offering cheap testing

I'm pretty sure he can order the tui test package at a reduced rate we'll definitely sure because a friend of ours works for tui but obviously he will have to crack on with it!

Great update. Glad it's sorted and they have time now to prepare and plan for next year.

Good outcome OP!

Good outcome OP - a bit of a lesson learned for him/his mates hopefully without being too harsh and something for him to look forward to (and save for!) next year.

Sounds like a good outcome all round, OP - best hope he puts better plans in place next time, preferably without having to be nagged into it
Agree with this (apart from the word 'nagged'!)

No no no, don't bail him out. This is exactly the sort of learning to adult 102 situation we have to let our DC learn for themselves through experience. DS2 had exactly the same issue. We warned him not to book the holiday. He did anyway. Then realised how much all the tests would cost and that he'd have to self isolate for most of the time he was there in quarantine and he pulled out. He was upset about the money he lost but he saved more than he would have spent for being stuck doing nothing for most of the week.

If we keep bailing them out with money we can't even really afford, they carry on wasting our money making stupid mistakes. If they waste their own money, they learn much faster!

Well done OP. Tbh I probably would have made the call too but from there on out I'd expect to see military precision planning and saving.

Well done OP, on getting it moved. I would sit down with him now, and look at a budget as to how much he needs to save for a test, and for spending money, how much he might spend each day on food and drink etc, and use it as a good exercise to look at budgeting and how much he needs to save in the coming year.

I wouldn't bail him out directly in any case, but I'd start by asking HIM to come up with solutions for the money, and thinking out any other eventualities he might not have thought of, like the status changing.

Ask him to come to you with solutions, don't just go to him with one like a loan ready made.

That is a very good solution. And a lesson for him: he is too old now to just throw a mess of problems in Mum's lap at the last minute.

He has to do some research and planning and then by all means ask for help in making the final decision.

Fab update. The close call will hopefully have been enough to spur him into action next time. I'm glad your generous birthday money gift wasn't wasted

He must have some money...how else is he planning to survive abroad on holiday? I would be very annoyed if he doesn't want to dip into his socialising budget but is whining about having no money for his PCR. Rather than all money go to waste, I would suggest a loan for some of the cost of PCR but not all if you yourself are strapped for cash also. I would expect that he dip into his own socialising budget too & have to cut back on some of his planned nights out etc. Or find a way to earn money in the meantime. Could he do painting for you or some such jobs that need doing that otherwise you would have to pay for... he needs to learn sure enough but perhaps there is a compromise that would mean he doesn't need to lose every penny of his booking.

@Zucker

What's so hard to understand? The OP DOES NOT HAVE THE RESOURCES TO GIVE A LOAN TO HER SON.

Christ on a bike, goldfish have nothing on some of you.

😄 completely agree! Wtf don’t people READ the b....y thread before posting.

Missed last updates OP before I posted earlier comment. Well done OP for saving his ass...hopefully he will learn a lesson here. Altho I do think £500 spending money is alot for an 18 yr old for a week in Greece...like too much. Presuming of course the flights & accommodation are separate & not also coming out of that £500...I cd have picked that up wrong tho.

He'll have a far better time once the covid restrictions have passed even though it means waiting. Boys his age...they think they are invincible & the small print diesn't matter....I had one of them at one point...a few minor dilemmas that he had to navigate & now he has head totally screwed on & is all grown up & acts it. Yours will get there too...frustrating tho it is in the meantime!!

By next year all boys will be double jabbed and fingers crossed but who knows these days that it will be easier.

Still got a year to play with it if things haven’t changed.

A result, glad to stuck to your guns in a way.

Sounds like the best result all round. The disappointment is still a lesson that will hopefully stay with him without having lost the money. :)

Fresh result, well done OP

*great

@Namechangedbecauseofthis

I will admit though to getting on the phone to help. The mate who booked it only lives round the corner. Took an hour and fifteen but we got there in the end.

I’m so glad you managed to get it sorted. He is a silly boy but we’ve all done stupid things when younger - he is lucky to have you to bail him out of his hole. Tel him you deserve for him to make it up to you. Perhaps a helpful list of chores would be useful.

I am very pleased it has worked out for him and he has the year to save and also he has not lost his money. Hopefully restrictions will have been removed by then and the holiday will be more relaxed anyway.

He's crying in the shed fgs.

Sorry, but this cracked me up 😂😂😂

He shed a tear. He wasn’t crying in an actual shed.