DS and his holiday and refusing to bail him out

[Namechangedbecauseofthis]

Ds is due to go on holiday in 13 days. He has only just realised in order to travel he needs to purchase a private PCR test.

I say only just realised I’ve been telling him for months to either move the holiday or make sure he has enough money for the test.

Two days ago he could have moved the holiday (TUI) free of charge.

The holiday was cheap, but now not cheap with the added PCRs on top.

Some of his mates are now making noise about losing their money if it can’t be changed, a couple of them are still going to go and take the PCR tests they have the funds.

We are not well off financially at all, however I could bail him out and pay for the PCR tests. Part of me thinks do this, the other part of me thinks. No I told him to bloody sort it and this is a shitty way to learn the hard way but he needs to grow up.

I’m not sure why they have left it so late, I can’t even wrap my head around that. I think lead booker just thought they would lose their deposits. The holiday needs to be paid, however they haven’t paid the final payment.

Can anyone advise? Can TUI move the holiday outside the 14 days? Should I bail him out? If they don’t pay for the holiday will they be liable for the cost still.

Well it sounds like his friends have been equally useless. Unless they pull their fingers out (or their parents help out) then presumably they won’t be going either.
If they haven’t paid the full balance by the deadline then their holiday might be automatically cancelled. I don’t think there is any real way for the tour operator to make you pay if you weren’t able to pay the full balance by the deadline. They’ll just put it back on sale.

A tough lesson learned for all of them.

Oh ffs so he's got £500 for a week in Greece? That's plenty.

OP sorry but you and your ds seem to have made a ridiculous mountain out of a very tiny molehill. No wonder he's now in panic mode if this is what you're like.

He's got the money for the tests. He's got the money for spends. He's got insurance and won't have any extra costs if he has to quarantine.

There is no problem here. At all.

it sounds to me like the holiday is collapsing anyway as others can't come up with the money either. I am a nasty person. I think the safer lesson would be for him to lose the money rather than to go, have it all go to rat shit and he loses his job. I know it will seem like the end of the world to him but believe me its not. As a general principle also, i wouldn't be lending anyone money that I couldn't afford to give and I wouldn't be facilitating him going into a situation that I couldn't bail him out of cos of no money to do so. if you have warned him told him coached him and it went in one ear and out the other then its time for a harder lesson....also why are you phoning Tui?

£500 is plenty for a week in Greece ... it’s cheap to eat and drink.

Well it sounds like his friends have been equally useless. Unless they pull their fingers out (or their parents help out) then presumably they won’t be going either

True enough - but then at least he wouldn't be the "odd one out", so that's another problem sorted

Tui have great deals for tests for their customers and £500 is a decent amount for a week, just eating and drinking - can he not pick up more shifts in the next 13 days before he goes? He could earn a lot of money in this time!?

I’m so sorry OP, what a horrible situation. I think your son also needs to know that since we left the EU, this is also something for him to consider, and I know of some people who’ve been quizzed (but sorry for going off at a tangent). This is from gov.uk.

At Greek border control, you may need to use separate lanes from EU, EEA and Swiss citizens when queueing. Your passport may be stamped on entry and exit. You may also need to:

show a return or onward ticket
show you have enough money for your stay

Good luck and I hope he works something out.

My ds is 19, I'd bail him out as I know the holiday would be something he'd remember forever and I'm a total soft touch and I could afford it. I would however use the example of his delayed actions and incompetences hundreds of times over the coming years, lol. Maybe if you could loan him the money?

The holiday has been moved to next year, the additional cost was minimal as they picked a different week to go.

The other boys couldn’t come up with the money either. This way they have more time to pay and get spending money together.

Sorted.

That's great, OP. Glad it is all sorted, phew!

Glad to see your update OP, they are very lucky seeing they missed the final payment date. To me the test cost was the least of the issues and a bit of a red herring with the missed payment date and the fact that some were dropping out which means the ones going would have to make up the cost. Hopefully they'll be more organised next time (although I've been on many holidays in my late teens with less than 500 spends. A lot of 40p noodles were eaten and a lot of fun had.

That’s a great result OP.

Excellent result OP.

I will admit though to getting on the phone to help. The mate who booked it only lives round the corner. Took an hour and fifteen but we got there in the end.

Check his destination entry requirements! Many require 2 jabs at least 2 weeks ago. We saw people being turned back at Stansted last week for failing this requirement.

Sounds like a good outcome all round, OP - best hope he puts better plans in place next time, preferably without having to be nagged into it

Great!! Well done

Glad you've not lost his bday money. I'm sure he's abundantly grateful for the help and is currently offering himself up for chores

That seems the best outcome. I know it has been stressful but hopefully it was a good lesson for him so maybe worth it.

Great outcome

I think you’ve done the right thing by helping him here. Yes, he’s an adult but this would have been his first time travelling abroad as an adult and he needed your experience and help.

I hope he saves up for 2022!

Well played, OP!

Hopefully, a life lesson at not too much cost to your son and the holiday saved.

Excellent. Problem solved, for now. Maybe sometime over the coming months you need to have a conversation about the planning he needs to do for next time, saving spending money, making sure his passport is valid, travel insurance (will he be able to move the policy he bought for this holiday or will he need to buy a new one?) etc etc so he's a bit more self sufficient next year.

After all, when he's at university, he won't have you fighting his battles for him will he?

"That money was his 18th birthday present so he will effectively throw it in the bin. "

I don't view it that the money has been as good as chucked in the bin though. It's 'school fee' money. He's paid a goodly chunk of cash to learn a life lesson that he will carry with him into adulthood. Possibly even better value than a pissed up holiday or a new piece of tech if you look at it that way!

I feel for him as it's a shit situation and evidently so do you. If this were one of mine, I'd put an arm around them and commiserate their loss of cash and things not working out as they thought/hoped they would (yes I know it was fucking obvious and you'd told him but nevertheless, he hadn't thought it through) then ask if they have any plans of how to deal with it and we might brainstorm ideas if needed.

It's his issue though (glad to read you decided not to call etc) And he had a lesson he needed to learn (even if it's just that sometimes it's worth listening to your parent). He's feeling bad enough about it and learning is tough so personally I'd reign in any 'I told you so's' and offer empathy whilst keeping it very clear it's not your responsibility to fix.

Phew! Well done OP 👍