DS and his holiday and refusing to bail him out

[Namechangedbecauseofthis]

Ds is due to go on holiday in 13 days. He has only just realised in order to travel he needs to purchase a private PCR test.

I say only just realised I’ve been telling him for months to either move the holiday or make sure he has enough money for the test.

Two days ago he could have moved the holiday (TUI) free of charge.

The holiday was cheap, but now not cheap with the added PCRs on top.

Some of his mates are now making noise about losing their money if it can’t be changed, a couple of them are still going to go and take the PCR tests they have the funds.

We are not well off financially at all, however I could bail him out and pay for the PCR tests. Part of me thinks do this, the other part of me thinks. No I told him to bloody sort it and this is a shitty way to learn the hard way but he needs to grow up.

I’m not sure why they have left it so late, I can’t even wrap my head around that. I think lead booker just thought they would lose their deposits. The holiday needs to be paid, however they haven’t paid the final payment.

Can anyone advise? Can TUI move the holiday outside the 14 days? Should I bail him out? If they don’t pay for the holiday will they be liable for the cost still.

LEND him the money he has to pay it back. If he has grandparents they can chip in with the loan

This comes across so entitled. There’s not a chance I’d be ringing my parents to say my DCs had fucked up with holiday spending money so they needed to ‘chip in’

@daisypond

His other best option would be to put the test on his credit card and pay it off next month- no interest and he builds up credit, just tell him not to take cc on holiday.

How many 18-year-olds have credit cards?! Surely that’s not normal.

I applied for a credit card at 18. Low wage job. It was like free money and set me off on a reliance of credit that took me until I was in my 30s. Not sure if it’s harder to get one now but I bloody hope so! How’s an 18 year old with no money going to pay it back?!

I do however agree that £500 seems plenty to me for a week away? Presuming him and his mates won’t be having three course dinners everyday at their age so I don’t see an issue with his spending money.

And please don’t tell a 19 year old who is a uni student and works part time at a supermarket and in your words ‘has no idea how much things cost’ to get a credit card!!!!

Also I'm pretty sure "Covid insurance" is included with a Tui package holiday and that will cover additional expenses that could be incurred if you catch it.

I would lend him the money.

I think the best solution would be ring TUI and see if they will let them move the holiday to next year.

I expect he could manage on less than £500 spending money. Harsh as it is, I'd agree with you not bailing him out, even if you were very well off. A holiday is when all said and done not an essential, lovely as it is, and beneficial as I am sure it will be.

Bailing him out if he could not get to work, or would otherwise be homeless, or something as important as that, I'd argue differently of course.

I think Greece can be one of the cheaper places to go on holiday, so that's less of a worry.

Of course there will be high end places that cost a lot for fancy meals and cocktails, but there will also be takeaways and back street bars that are much cheaper than the UK.

I've never been myself, but googling suggests you can get a wrap with meat, salad and chips in, for 2-3 euro. He could probably survive on a couple of those a day and quite enjoy it at the same time.

If he has had covid, Greece accepts proof of a positive covid test in the last 180 days as PP said. How long ago did he have it? Or could he go to a drop in somewhere for a second jab, I know some places are doing them I get texts occasionally. He would then be fully vaccinated, also accepted.

Is the holiday all inclusive? Half board? £500ish should be fine for a week in that case. I aim for 1k a week for a family of four self catering, driving etc.

At 19, he is still in that transition from standing on his own two feet and needing you. My DS is 18, I feel your pain. If it was me, I would loan the money but make sure he knows the lessons learnt and that you won't bail him out again. As for spending money, if he's got enough for a meal and couple of drinks a day leave him too it. He'll be miserable and learn to save better for next year.

£500 is ample for a week in Greece assuming they don't go crazy in fancy bars and clubs and large meals out. I've survived on a lot less in far move expensive countries. The problem will be if he encounters some issue that requires £££ to solve it and he has nothing left. Personally, I don't think it's advisable for anyone to travel abroad at the moment unless you have a decent amount of emergency money for unforeseen circumstances.

Tui offer a set of 4 amber country tests for £90, that covers all the tests he'd need. He could take that out of his spending money

What sort of holiday is it?
As pp's said if it's AI he'll be fine, even if it is SC and he has access to a cooker or even a kettle he can eat noodles everyday and snacks. Not ideal but I don't think a balanced diet would be on his list of priorities that week anyway.
I understand when you don't have extra funds you just don't have it, many people don't and you can't knit it out of fresh air.
Could him and his friends post on FB or eBay selling the tickets? I don't know how the logistics of it would work or what the change of name admin costs are but it could help them recoup some funds for a later date?

I would pay for the test but make it clear you need to be paid back.

But the problem is also that he will need to isolate when he returns, which will cause issues at work.

Plus the fact that they've missed the payment deadline, so TUI might have cancelled their booking anyway.

Both issues however may be solvable - he could ask work to move his shifts to the week or two after or swap with a colleague and they could try to make amends with TUI by paying up ASAP. I don't know if they are flexible or hardline with this. In reality, they may overlook a day or two past the deadline or they may not, I have no idea.

But both problems need action from them now, or else there definitely will be no holiday.

I'd loan the money to him. Don't give it to him because he had fair warning of this. But he is a teenager and they're not exactly know for forward-thinking. Be a shame for him to miss out on a holiday that was booked with his 18th birthday money for the sake of a Covid test.

You sound a lovely Mum OP. I've no advice that hasn't already been posted but sending hugs. You and DS will get over this with lessons learned. There will be holidays for him to look forward to in the future

@Namechangedbecauseofthis TUI have a deal with chronomics where they include all the tests needed for an amber country for £60 - you would need to order that via the booking reference number.
Also I'm sure if he tests positive once there Greece government pays the accommodation for isolation period (not sure the standard of the hostel). Have a look on government website.

Tui cancelled my sister's holiday on Thursday after they had paid for the tests, they were due to travel on Friday. Highly unlikely they'll ever see that money again as Tui refusing to compensate those costs.

What's so hard to understand? The OP DOES NOT HAVE THE RESOURCES TO GIVE A LOAN TO HER SON.

Christ on a bike, goldfish have nothing on some of you.

The OP has said she can afford the PCR test as a loan - and that’s all we’re talking about.

Poor lad, a hard lesson to learn. But I think you're doing the right thing OP. You've given him a wonderful 18th birthday gift, which he's wasted. Don't give him more to make up for his stupid mistake.

But don't hold this against him for too long. He must be beating himself up inside. Forgive and put it behind you.

@Zucker perhaps you need to reread yourself before shouting at people - in fact the OP has said multiple times that she could loan him £125 for the PCR, just not quarantine expenses. Which PPs have said the Greek govt and/or TUI would cover.

@Namechangedbecauseofthis

I have the money for the PCR test. I don’t have the money for the potential shit show that could happen and neither does he.

Which is why I can’t take the risk. Again a hard lesson for him to learn but I asked him and asked him. He has had prior warning.

What potential shit show? If he tests positive he's got insurance.

What exactly is the big major problem here? He needs to find £90 for the TUI package of tests. And that's it. He can surely eBay some stuff for £90?

Sorry if it's really obvious but not sure what the issue is other than £90 for the tests?

18 year olds still have no idea. The risk and planning part of the brain doesn't properly develop until 25

Another Mumsnet bingo moment ; it's almost as if pre-25's haven't been successfully planning their own lives for generations

Basically he's thought about hardly anything, doesn't have a suitable amount of money and OP can't afford to bail him out, so he doesn't get to go - a shame, but not the end of life as we know it