Got a job interview. How do I hide my perimenopause life hate?

[Itwasquitegood]

I’ve spent the best part of the last year working from home, vacantly staring out of the window at pigeons and blackbirds pecking about my garden and somehow getting my work done. I’ve just started HRT patches in the hope that my low mood, anxiety, crap sleep and general life hate will lift but it’s early days. DH is being made redundant from a full time job and I’ve been working part time in a bit of a ploddy role for 5 years. Need to up my game as who knows when DH will get a new job and I am a bit bored with my job anyway. Have an interview next week for quite a good role. More money, full time etc. But I have zero enthusiasm. Not just about this role but about everything. I just want to sit in a chair and stare at things. I think I’ve been like this for a good couple of years. I know I need good old slap. Perhaps a bucket of cold water thrown over me too, but how do I hide all this? I just can’t be bothered but I need to be bothered to keep a roof over our heads and our family fed.

I’m 48 by the way. So you know, not completely ancient but I feel as old as the hills and like I’ve seen it all. Jaded I guess…. DH has mentioned the phrase “fake it till you make it”. Sweet jesus….

Has anyone managed to snap out of this sort of malaise? What helped? How do I generate enthusiasm from somewhere? I’m a healthy eater and regularly exercise …..

I feel like this I struggle to have patience at all. I try not to say what I am thinking. I have been wondering if I am peri I get hot flushes, struggle to sleep and my memory is shocking, but I still have regular periods so I guess the GP would probably disagree. I am nearly 44 and am so fed up and angry for no reason.

i think I'm going to have to retrain as a gardener or something as I have absoluno patience for stupid people any more!!!

I can relate.
Does anyone else find this thread strangely uplifting?

Yes. 🙂

Yes! I was telling DH about it actually - it’s so reassuring to know it’s not just me who feels this way.

Seriously though ladies, I know that hormones play their part but I do think that some of this is related to life situation too. I mean I have had 25 years of being treated a certain way and having certain experiences just because I am female. Still am, but with none of the wee crumbs you get because you've got nice perky tits or whatever. And now on top of that if you do say anything at all you're an entitled "Karen" . The world is not a friendly place for women and it is v unfriendly to meno women.

Totally hear you, I feel the same and have to find a new job as being made redundant.
I recommend a standing desk, certainly for the interview, it gives you so much energy. No need to buy anything, I use 2 boxes. Build up, 20 mins day 1, 30 mins day 2 and so on until you're spending half the day standing. It's a game changer.

Just wanted to update all you kind peeps and thank you for your messages of support. I had the interview this past week. Thankfully, no teenagers appeared on the screen. Phew. But, I had an overwhelming feeling of boredom when being interviewed! Bored, bored, bored (remember Vivian from the Young Ones and his bat?) The main interviewer gave me David Brent vibes . I took on board what one poster said about interviewing them as much as being interviewed and asked lots of questions. By the end of the interview I kind of knew that the job wasn't for me. I was then actually offered the role which sent me on a roller coaster of "should I? shouldn't I?" thinking that went round and round my head. I had the day off yesterday, and after a bottle of wine with my sister at lunch time I achieved Pinot Grigio induced clarity and sent off my thanks but no thanks, email to them.

So, the job hunting continues but I feel strangely empowered by this week and all you lot. Cheers me dears Hang in there all yous perimenopausals. There is fight left in us yet.

Lol - love that you got offered the job and turned it down OP! Best of luck in finding something more suitable. Life is too short to work for knobs.

@Helocariad

I can relate. Does anyone else find this thread strangely uplifting?

Hell yes.

I wish I worked with you lot

@Itwasquitegood

Just wanted to update all you kind peeps and thank you for your messages of support. I had the interview this past week. Thankfully, no teenagers appeared on the screen. Phew. But, I had an overwhelming feeling of boredom when being interviewed! Bored, bored, bored (remember Vivian from the Young Ones and his bat?) The main interviewer gave me David Brent vibes . I took on board what one poster said about interviewing them as much as being interviewed and asked lots of questions. By the end of the interview I kind of knew that the job wasn't for me. I was then actually offered the role which sent me on a roller coaster of "should I? shouldn't I?" thinking that went round and round my head. I had the day off yesterday, and after a bottle of wine with my sister at lunch time I achieved Pinot Grigio induced clarity and sent off my thanks but no thanks, email to them.

So, the job hunting continues but I feel strangely empowered by this week and all you lot. Cheers me dears Hang in there all yous perimenopausals. There is fight left in us yet.

Pinot Grigio induced clarity. Love it!

I'm really glad you aced the interview OP, that roll probably do good things for general confidence.

Just a thought but could the bored feeling be anything to do with doing the interview in your home I.e where you may have spent must of the last 18 months? It's hard to feel engaged and energised and then.

Good luck with the job hunt and thanks for starting an excellent thread

Jesus my last post = typos ahoy

Yeah I know that one. Suffered for years, HRT helped hugely, I'd have gone insane without that. Antidepressants didn't as they made me want to sleep all day.
I could just about plaster a smile on my face for an interview but can't keep it up for more than an hour.
My current job is idea because I see patients for half an hour then they are off and I have 10 minutes to recover.
A couple of donuts before the interview too - it seems to help.

Well done op, it sounds really positive and empowering.

The last job I went for, after the interview I decided I wouldn't want it anyway even if I was offered it (not enough hours for the expected work and not enough pay for said work). It was like a moment of clarity whereas before I would have taken anything offered (I was at the beginning of the perimenopause at this point but I didn't realise it at the time).

So relate to this thread. I just turned 50 and take HRT and sertraline (weaned off recently to see if HRT was sufficient but started taking it again as my up to 11 anger and shoutiness returned!).

On both meds I've had the most amazing 3 years at work - best of my career. I highly recommend Viv Groskop's How to Own the Room podcast as a confidence boost before any interview. I credit it with my last 2 jobs!

I'd get that HRT upped pronto. My GP started me on 50. Felt better within a few days, amazing after a few weeks. Still have some melancholy feelings and lethargy at times but maybe that's just being human? Who knows.

How are you doing now @Itwasquitegood, @SSD and other pps? Can’t resist trying to reanimate this excellent thread…

I'm doing OK @SparklingLime Thanks for asking! Still job hunting...

DH managed to find another job so the pressure is slightly off but I am still keen for a new direction in my working life. I feel so stale in my job. Gotta get this mouldy slice of bread outta there to pastures new.

I've managed to get my HRT dose upped a couple of weeks ago so fingers crossed that will help. The first dose gave me more energy but hasn't really helped with the other symptoms. I said to the GP that more energy combined with extreme anger and sweat is quite a dangerous combo Think he had visions of the Incredible Hulk down the phone! Also started walking 2 miles a day to try and get some blood to the brain.

Still find my self just sitting and staring, wondering what the point of it all is but trying not to give into the perimenopause coma.

How is everyone else doing?

Agree. It has been the most entertaining thing I've seen ever all week

Thank you for this thread and for whoever linked it from another post. May I lurk? I would love to post but mostly I can't be arsed (49 and peri and sick of work and most other things)

Thanks for the positive update, OP. I’m too foggy brained to contribute much beyond a thousand-mile stare…

I love that you got the job and then turned it down
I'm a bit older and am suffering similarly with wanting to sit and stare at my garden. I have just read a thread on AIBU about someone's mother who is 80 and fit and doesn't understand her daughter's lifestyle because she's never had to work. Among the comments that make me want to throw things, there are some fantastic comments from some women who just have to have hit the menopausal eye rolling stage!
I feel so much better after reading this wonderful thread!

Wish I'd seen this thread back in the summer when it began, so so familiar having just spent a solid week doing NOTHING instead of working. My job basically involves making young annoying men look more competent than they really are and is giving me the massive rage. But not sure I can be arsed to even look for a new one let alone move! Love that you aced the interview and then told them to do one. Also having had galloping acne during my youth with a little break in the middle of smooth skin - I've now got big boily outbreaks happening again at 50. So off the GP to get the HRT me thinks. Wish all you lot were my mates in real life!

Only coming on to follow this thread