Got a job interview. How do I hide my perimenopause life hate?

[Itwasquitegood]

I’ve spent the best part of the last year working from home, vacantly staring out of the window at pigeons and blackbirds pecking about my garden and somehow getting my work done. I’ve just started HRT patches in the hope that my low mood, anxiety, crap sleep and general life hate will lift but it’s early days. DH is being made redundant from a full time job and I’ve been working part time in a bit of a ploddy role for 5 years. Need to up my game as who knows when DH will get a new job and I am a bit bored with my job anyway. Have an interview next week for quite a good role. More money, full time etc. But I have zero enthusiasm. Not just about this role but about everything. I just want to sit in a chair and stare at things. I think I’ve been like this for a good couple of years. I know I need good old slap. Perhaps a bucket of cold water thrown over me too, but how do I hide all this? I just can’t be bothered but I need to be bothered to keep a roof over our heads and our family fed.

I’m 48 by the way. So you know, not completely ancient but I feel as old as the hills and like I’ve seen it all. Jaded I guess…. DH has mentioned the phrase “fake it till you make it”. Sweet jesus….

Has anyone managed to snap out of this sort of malaise? What helped? How do I generate enthusiasm from somewhere? I’m a healthy eater and regularly exercise …..

@Wormholes

With regard to the 'try new things' advice, I've shaken off my post-menopausal ennui (late 50s) by doing as little as possible at work (which is a LOT less than I dared hope) and taking up behaving badly. Trespassing, never paying to park, taking what I want and not apologising. It's great. There's nothing to fear. Rules are bullshit.

This is hilarious. I hope you manage to evade capture for a while longer.

I agree with @daisycottage
The only thing that has helped are hrt patches and anti depressants!!
I never would have thought I’d ever have to take them but so glad I’m feeling more like myself now xxx

I’m the same OP save my upcoming interview will be with a board of 3 facilitated men who all have wives at home so they will not have the first fucking clue what it’s like to do a full time job plus all the wife work plus all the other shit. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to be able to resist reaching over the desk to just smack them all firmly around their smug, uninformed faces. May need to up the HRT and double patch it that day.

Trespassing, never paying to park, taking what I want and not apologising. It's great. There's nothing to fear. Rules are bullshit

Oh YY to this! Sensible rules, fine - don’t have a problem with them. Stupid, pointless, ‘just because’ rules - nope. I am absolutely obsessed (and not in a good way) with a new arbitrary 20mph they have introduced them on several miles of an A road I commute along to make it more cycle/walker friendly (conveniently ignoring that to get to this stretch it’s 50mph on one side and 60 on the other). Do you know how many walkers and cyclists I see on that stretch at 7.15am when I’m commuting? That’s right - none. No-one. I refuse to do it, I do 30mph as it’s been for decades with no accidents, and I don’t care.

God, that felt good to get that off my chest.

I hadn't thigh about the beginning a hoodlum but you're right. I've stopped putting my trolley back in line at the supermarket We don't have to pay for them here, but I've always been so assiduous. No any more.

I hadn't realised it might be an age thing.

"I hadn't thought about", I mean.

I don't think anyone has thought about my thighs for 20 years.

You are all making me laugh so much! Thank you

Although a Facebook page would be a good idea, I've had to come off it because of my hateful thoughts towards mankind. I just know that one glass too many and the old fingers would be tip tapping the truth away... Sounds like @KeflavikAirport has an interesting story to tell along these lines

I am liking the direction @Wormholes is taking us with her delightful abandonment of rules and general bad behaviour. Why are we having to take drugs to feel normal and fit into society? Why can't we just go with it and go a bit berserk/delinquent for a few years?

Seriously though, thank you for all the advice and encouragement. Here's to us

PS I'm really dreading some 12 year old appearing on the screen to interview me. All the posts on here about the treatment we recieve as older ladies in these situations has made me really cross. Pray for me comrades.

Solidarity sister ✊

We’re right there with you Itwasquitegood 💪

On second thoughts, that might not be such a good idea if you actually want the job

Anyway - GOOD LUCK!!!

@Itwasquitegood

I've just been told off at work for doing something sensible off my own back, that sorts a problem in 5 minutes. Oh no, i have to pass it to someone who then passes it to someone else who then sorts the thing i sorted in 5 minutes. Can't even blame youngsters, this was a woman older than me who is trying to remain relevant and important, whilst actually doing fuck all. Maybe i should take a leaf out her book. She's paid a lot more than me too.

Maybe I'll stop being sensible and pass everything on. But then someone else will come along next week and ask me why i didn't sort it myself.

this was a woman older than me who is trying to remain relevant and important, whilst actually doing fuck all.

Yes, unfortunately there are a fair few of these individuals in the workplace too.

@Itwasquitegood just play the game and get the money. Then you can doss around. You only have to win this one battle.

Having made something of a hobby out of arranging appropriate books into prominent position for team meetings (eg Baby I Don't Care, As I Walked Out One Midsummer Morning, Chernobyl) I went one step further for the whole team briefing and at the point where we were invited to turn on cameras had it focused on a blank bit of wall.

Oh and I haven't paid for a carrier bag for over 18 months.

@SeeYaBeYa - I don't understand, do you mean you just... take them?! OMG!! Rebel Without a Flying Fuck

I am the same age as you and I felt like this last year. I was just existing and plodding along in my boring job. The main thing that worked for me has been giving up drinking. It is a revelation. I am so calm and happy, I look better, (my skin is amazing) I feel more energised and focused and I sleep so much better. It does piss me off a bit though because I love a glass of wine/gin/beer, but I just can’t go back to feeling like I did last year.

A combination of HRT and ADs helped me but I still have days where I don't want to do anything! I know your DH's advice of fake it til you make it sounds crap but that is what I have to do. I'm a lawyer so have to be nice and pleasant when engaging with clients (although can be shitty to my opposition!) so on some days I literally have to pretend! I should have a best actress Oscar for some of my performances

@lborgia yes, exactly so. Anyone who wants to to pay 20p extra just so I can carry home things I've bought and paid for can bite my ass.

... wants me to pay ...

Op, how did it go?

Loving this thread ! Definitely with increasing age I'm feeling this way, including the "so what's the point" at work, and sometimes at home, for items which are just rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic...

DH has just sent me this - House of Commons launching inquiry into the effects on the menopause on women in the workplace. Fingers crossed something positive comes out of it www.hrreview.co.uk/hr-news/menopause-in-the-workplace-inquiry-launched-by-house-of-commons/136658?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=menopause-in-the-workplace-inquiry-launched-by-house-of-commons&gator_td=4UnGDRbXbibXNZa%2fImn8%2b0dCRmmJGKAjdSJCRZlFcJudkKoT2CJtmrPLMmdHwVRqoVZMTFKLr6dpgNdlk9OyQ8W6BjiG3odoRA%2fIdOj4MRlQCelyi00nYwSMt1wlGI5Rirt6K7JhnPb%2fSOQVIxy6rT9BHsQmSZHXVShs0qnJUzs%3d

I actually had to leave my job and go freelance because I just couldn't control my eye rolling and exasperation in meetings any longer.

Does anyone else now find other people so tiring that you can't even look them in the eyes anymore when they're talking? I was in my performance review meeting just before I decided to leave, when my manager suddenly asked if I was okay, and I realised I had been staring out of the window while she was suggesting objectives for me