Bring your worries over here, the Night Shift are still here to mind them

[2018SoFarSoGreat]

New thread here, since the Last Thread has ever so slowly filled up. Isn't it amazing how little our worries crept up in the night when the world was actually one big worry?

Pandemic or not, this is the place to just park your worries. We don't ask questions, or try to solve your problems. We just hold them, tenderly, carefully, until you are strong enough to take them back. If they choose not to come back, all the better.

Signing in for the Night Shift, V3!

I'm wide awake, been an idiot snd went out for bottomless brunch drunk too much and due back at work after 6 weeks off in morning. Drinking water now and feel shit. Hopefully will get more sleep but worried about hangover. I'm such an idiot (not normally , been boringly sensible for ages and ages)

Landlord is demanding access to toilet. However, not only do I have my worries about them coming in and changing locks to stop me getting back in, being abusive and covid. I now have additional issues -one it's supposed to be 30c here tomorrow, which means seizures all day and bedbound for at least two days after, second have period (and that seriously messes with my PTSD). All I've had from them is "tough".

The toilet has been getting worse too.

My remaining teeth have rotted so can't have food and no I can't go to a "D" as very severely phobic, literally collpasing if I go near a practice never mind in one. Even more so since I went to a "specialist" who wasn't and downplayed that I can't have anaesthetic and sat there flirting with me. Too many pretend to deal with phobias and don't. Social services offered to help but then refused saying it was "a waste of time".

Please, please no one tell me to put on my "big girl pants" this is a severe life threatening phobia, I've attempted suicide because of it in the past.

I am terrified.

Can't even write it or see word.

Sorry for the overshare. If someone can take that and bury it somewhere? I'd appreciate it!!

I won't be sleeping so I'll take on any worries. I'll pop back and read. I won't necessarily post as I'm running very low on data due to ads, but I can read.

I’ve got that for you @Becca19962014
I have family experience of severe phobias and I understand. Consider it squished.

@becca19962014 fully emphasise with your phobia of dentists, I share this debilitating phobia. I struggle to even phone or go in take appointments, let attend appointment. I am very fortunate that a very close friend has taken charge, they organise my appointments and only tell me 30mins before, to reduce the time I spend building my self into a complete mess of anxiety. My friend will always sit and talk to me while I'm being examined or treated, my dentist shows extreme patience and always tells me what's going to happen next and how long it will take. My dentist will keep up dating me as to how long left until its finished, I find this calms me. When you do need treatment involving anesthetic, insist on being given one that doesn't contain adrenaline as it makes anxiety far far far worse. I was very lucky that my dentist took the time to explain the severity of my phobia to Maxiofacial consultant, after referring me, and the included and welcomed my friends support in order for me to have surgery. I can honestly say that while I do still have a fear it isn't now, after 7yrs of my friends involvement, a phobia and that I still get anxious but my response is less extreme. Hope you have a friend that can help you get the treatment you want and need, if not your dentist might have an extra caring dental nurse who can sit with you and help you focus on staying calm.

Thankyou! For understanding and squish!

Just read back what I wrote, realised I really shouldn't comment on posts when I've had max doses of painkillers, I really did waffle, which while cathartic, was/is utterly boring for everyone else. So sorry, no idea how to get comments deleted.

It's not going to happen. No one understands it's just a joke.
I'm resigning myself to my fate.

@Seasidemumma77 don't worry. I waffle LOADS!!!

My teenage daughter is out with friends and isn’t home yet. I didn’t think she’d be out this late. She’s over 18 so no curfew but impossible to sleep till she’s back and I have a full day’s work tomorrow

@EmilyDickinson it awful lying there when they are out late, your brain starts creates crazy scenarios. I loved it when dc1 left for uni, in my head I convinced myself she was fast asleep in her own bed by 9pm everyday, rather than waiting anxiously for her to come home. Then dc2 followed by dc3 started going out late and I'm back to endless sleeplessness nights trying to calm myself down and stop my imagination going wild. Hope she's home soon or messages you xx

Not slept and face is swollen.

I hope your DD is back safe now @EmilyDickinson

Been awake since 3am, police brought home my 18 year old son. He had the absolute shit kicked out of him by grown men, they had knives, (apparently according to the friend that was with him) They could have killed him. Why?
My lad couldn’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag and he looks like he couldn’t.
Just what the hell.

@Bobrosspaintbrush I'm really sorry to hear this. There's no reason to things like this, sadly. I've been set upon on days when I've been vulnerable physically and mentally. It's really horrible seeing that side of humanity. Really horrible and especially experiencing it at such a young age.

It's good the police brought him home (here they don't when 18) it means they know, are taking it very seriously and will be looking into it. It won't feel like it but that's really good news and hopefully something will be done.

@Becca19962014
Thank you for your comment, and I’m sorry to hear that you have experienced similar.
The police brought him home because they wanted him to go to hospital but he refused.
The police returned at 8:30 in the morn because they had viewed the cctv and came to tell me that he really needed to go to A&E.
He had received at least 20 blows to the head.
After a very lengthy 9 hour wait in A&E luckily my son had only sustained a fractured cheek bone.
The police say he is extremely lucky.
They confirmed it just looks like my son was in the wrong place at the wrong time as everything points to a totally unprovoked attack.

Sorry I’ve been MIA. New job is 12 hour shifts and is physically and mentally exhausting.
I’m here signing in for the night shift and happy to tuck any worries up with me and the cat for the night.
Just throw them at the end of the bed and I’ll bury them in the quilt.

On a night shift tonight and I'm already fed up. An agency nurse who did not give a good impression when they started. Not happy to that we get busy in the night.

I copped a bollocking at work because I did what I was told. I should have refused, apparently. Which would have then earned me a bollocking for refusing.

I'm out of my depth and trying to teach myself my own job as nobody else knows how to do it or if they do, they don't want to tell me. I'm anxious about walking into more shit in the morning because I'm snowed under, on a deadline and know there will be further constant demands in the guise of polite requests in front of others - and screeching rage with a side threat of more complaints made about me if there are no witnesses above a certain paygrade.

I can't sleep.

My contract ends next month, I was told they wanted to keep me, gave me a month to work on something, I did as asked. They offered me a different role to what I’d expected but a role that played to my strengths and took away the parts of the job I’m not great at. Spoke to my line manager as I was worried it was too much of a departure from what I’d been doing and enjoying.
She told me to be honest, describe what I’d like the role to look like, treat it as a negotiation, ask for everything I wanted to do and I’d hopefully get some of it.
I did. Now the offers being rescinded, I’m not focused enough for what they need, it would be unfair to put me in a role I would loose to much of my current job in.
I didn’t hate the role they offered it just felt like a part time job not a full time one!
I’ve been extended to January to cover the translation. I’m welcome to apply for the post but I’m not a good fit :(

Has anyone got a little space? My son will be having brain surgery in the next few weeks. I've got the date through today. My heart is heavy with worries about it. I love him more than life itself, and this feels scary.

Well this is fun at work, agency nurse says he's a nurse not a carer and shouldn't be doing care. Would it be reasonable to tell him to fuck off home.🤬

@TheMamaYo just read your message - I’m sorry you and your family have difficult times and health worries. Feeling scared about loved ones can be all consuming- let the good and gentle folk here help a little. I shall return here later (this evening) and you can let me know what in particular I can put away out of sight for the night hours. Take care 🍂

For whatever reason, my message didn't post but I did babysit some worries last night!
@vodkaredbullgirl, @NeverDropYourMoonCup and @Stuckinarut79 I did read yours before the worry sitting session started. I hope some of you got some sleep despite my original message being eaten up.

@TheMamaYo I'm very sorry about what's happening! If you haven't slept yet, you can grab a few hours now. I'm off to do house chores before I head out to work. The worries can help for a bit while you sleep.

@AlloftheTime and @hawkeye, thank you.
The dark part of my mind keeps going to ‘what if’. And the surgery has a chance of making it better, but there’s also a chance that it’ll make his condition worse. Not doing anything isn’t an option. I keep Reading positive stories about it, but every now and then my eyes catch a negative one. It’ll be ok, it’ll be ok and it’ll be ok. Thank you for holding them for me a bit. I hope I’ll sleep tonight.