Is this normal ? Friend told me something and I’m wondering how common this is ?

[namechangedForthus]

Was chatting to a friend today and she mentioned something about it being ‘one of those days’ when I said I was just going to get a few bits from the shop.
After chatting a bit more it turns out that ‘one of those days’ is what she has 3-4 days each WEEK where they have ZERO in their account ?

She shrugged this off as ‘normal’ and ‘real life’ but I was quite shocked.
What if an emergency arises or an unexpected bill? She said they have no savings but that the rent and bills are paid and she always has food staples in and a freezer full so it’s just how it is. She laughed that I was shocked! I said I was more than happy to pick up any bits she needed

Is this really reality for people I would be so worried each week if it was me because of unexpected costs but she seemed resigned to this being how it will always be

Hear hear HeadNorth, well said. My life was just like that too.

@Blueskyemily

Some of the posts on this thread are like the mumsnet equivalent of the four yorkshiremen.

I agree.

We all have different experiences. Those of us who are solvent know perfectly well that not everyone is. I don't actually know anyone who has no money at all for half a week, but it doesn't mean that I am denying that there are people for whom this is the case.

@MondieBee

This has turned into a weird thread with everyone berating the op for being surprised. There's lot of reasons the op could be surprised - the way her friend dresses, the things she knows she does, the house she lives in. Being surprised at hearing someone is in poverty is not the same as being unaware poverty exists. Some of you really need to stop being so pleased with yourselves for being so empathic to us poor little poor people

Exactly. I'd be surprised to learn that someone who seemed to have a certain lifestyle (similar to my own, nowhere near wealthy, but obviously not in poverty) had no savings at all, absolutely zero in the bank for a few days every week, and though some people are in that situation, I wouldn't say it's "normal".

I lived in a similar situation for many years.

I once was seduced and went with a new lover to New York with £39 in my bank account, which I spent on two glasses of wine and a tip for the waiter at the Waldorf when he was attending a business meeting.

The waiter was very good looking!

But nobody is denying it - least of all the OP.

She’s surprised to hear that her friend believes the majority of people live likes this, and is asking questions to find out more.

@namechangedForthus

That should say where I’ve deviated not devoted

Anyway, I feel bad now I didn’t mean to irritate anyone I just had in my mind for some reason a totally different idea of what being poor/in poverty was if that makes any sense and I feel bad for my friend

I’m not explaining myself well and I really didn’t mean any harm whatsoever I was just wondering of the situation she described as being the same for lots of people really was like that

I think I will go to bed now and again sorry for coming across I’m the wrong way there was no bad intention behind anything I’ve said at all

I don't think it's irritating, I think it's interesting.

I have had months like this when I was clearing debt. Now I have savings and I behave this way out of choice at the end of the month. If the freezer is full and bills are paid then I'm leaving my saves where they are, not skimming a tenner off here and there for variety.
I'm mindful there is a decent looking packed lunch for ds though so he isn't embarrassed or hungry at school. Agree with pp's though about the stupid school dress up things, it's like the school has no social awareness sometimes making assumptions you will have this clothes and that clothes indoors just waiting for a dress up theme.

I think this kind of poverty IS normal actually, as borne out by the statistics that 1 in 6 families have no savings, and 10-15% of the overall population. No that’s not half the population, but it is millions of people. More to the point, those people won’t all always be in that position, as a number of people have said, they used to be but aren’t any more. So if 15% of people at any one time have no savings, what percentage have ever experienced that? Or have experienced the issue of paycheques not lasting the month? It’s going to be more. How many more I don’t know, but again, it’s going to be a lot of people.

I think some people on here are being v unkind OP. I don't know anyone who lives like this, I know some people do, but I don't think it's normal. Fairly common but not how the majority of people live as the PP said - 85 percent of the population has savings. I think that the fact they both work is what has made you suprised, but I think lots of people struggle despite employment.

Yep. Pretty common here! We don't have any credit cards and never loan money, due to knowing it can make things worse further down the line with debt. I have 88p in my account and 6p in my savings. All our bills, rent, childcare etc are paid. House full of food its just the way it is unfortunately x

You're certainly not alone op, this comes as a shock to me too! Ofcourse i am aware many people live on the breadline but to go 3/4 days every single week without any money is really shocking and very worrying. It saddens me to think of people struggling to make ends meet.

Not only do I not have nothing in the bank, I have minus £600 and two weeks to payday. I wake up and think about money and I worry about it at least once an hour, even every 15 minutes when I'm not in work. It is miserable. There are two of us with an income and three children. I enjoy nothing because of money worries.

*not have anything

I’m struggling to see any depth to people’s posts that don’t say they know about the poverty that some families have to in?

Do they not watch the news, see the works of good souls like Marcus Rashford or do voluntary work etc! This ignorance is beyond me at times?

Living hand to mouth is not the preserve of the “poor”. I know plenty of high earning people who live like this, one couple even living on debt in the anticipation that a banking bonus will clear it. However in that case it is living irresponsibly beyond their means and being naive that things will always turn out grand.
Having been through the shitter myself more than once I have gone the other way and lived way below my means for ages to be able to build up emergency funds. It takes serious work and sacrifice. And time.

I'm in a better situation now but being at 0 would have been a major result for me for many years - was normally overdrawn - single parent

This was our normal for a good few years. These days we rarely completely run out of money and have a small amount put aside for emergencies- a couple of hundred but not huge amounts of savings.

I grew up with parents that both worked and we would frequently have zero money. Generally always good to eat (although sometimes we did go to my grandparents house for food). I never done clubs or things as there was no money to pay for it.

A lot of people live like this and unless you have really experienced it you can’t understand. It’s just about surviving and it’s stressful. If you have need looked down the back of the sofa for loose change to scrape together enough for a pint of milk or been into the bank to lift out the remaining £3.21 in your account to buy food then you wouldn’t understand.

You can live below your means and sacrifice, but not if you have children who will bear the brunt of this. It is demoralising for all involved.

Absolutely terrible. I couldn't live like that. There are so many situations which could take place that would need extra funds, car accident, burst tyre, illness, electrical appliances breaking, oh my list could go on and on....

Not rtft, but yep, very common for this to happen. We're a family of 4, and e of us live on pasta and sauce for dinners most of the month, as there's always too much mony left at the end of the money. We've had too many unexpected payments lately, mostly for my dp's car, so we've had to prioritise bills, and not pay one or two for a month, then swap. It's the harsh reality of living on the breadline. Everything is going up except wages and benefit top ups. 30 years ago one decent wage could support a family comfortably, now, 2 full time wages are sometimes not enough to support a family. It's not right.

@ThanksForAllTheFish

This was our normal for a good few years. These days we rarely completely run out of money and have a small amount put aside for emergencies- a couple of hundred but not huge amounts of savings.

I grew up with parents that both worked and we would frequently have zero money. Generally always good to eat (although sometimes we did go to my grandparents house for food). I never done clubs or things as there was no money to pay for it.

A lot of people live like this and unless you have really experienced it you can’t understand. It’s just about surviving and it’s stressful. If you have need looked down the back of the sofa for loose change to scrape together enough for a pint of milk or been into the bank to lift out the remaining £3.21 in your account to buy food then you wouldn’t understand.

100% this ^these days I can get by and pay for my kids basics reasonably easily, but a few years ago I was working out how to make 30p meals as I’d only have £5 to last the week

@whattodo2019

Absolutely terrible. I couldn't live like that. There are so many situations which could take place that would need extra funds, car accident, burst tyre, illness, electrical appliances breaking, oh my list could go on and on....

You ‘couldn’t’ live like that?

If you did t have a choice then you couldn’t NOT live like that

Illness- live on sick pay

Electrical appliance breaking. What sort of electrical appliance do you think you couldn’t live without, bearing in mind half the world does not have electricity?

Car accident/ burst tyre- we’ve never had a car

@Toomuchtrouble4me

I don’t think that’s normal or as common as people are saying. To have no money for one or days at the end of the month maybe but it’s not how most people live.

People who are saying this.. what are you basing these statements on? You must mean "people that you know of" surely. This doesn't equate to it being uncommon.

@whattodo2019

Absolutely terrible. I couldn't live like that. There are so many situations which could take place that would need extra funds, car accident, burst tyre, illness, electrical appliances breaking, oh my list could go on and on....

Yes that's exactly how it is. I used to have a dad who could help out if absolutely needed but he passed away. These days, if something unexpected happens (eg the car breaks down, not uncommon when your car is over 10 years old) then we go without. A couple of years ago I had to scrap my car and get the train to work for months. Was actually cheaper than petrol. Then I got a loan and a better, more reliable car .. although still ten years old. I need this car to last at least until my loan is paid off. Then I can get a new loan/car.

Having said this, we always have a package holiday booked. We treat it like another bill and thus always have something to look forward to. We would never have a holiday on credit and no credit cards between us.

Not having money at the end of the month is very normal for us. We have food, the bills gets paid and we eek out the fuel somehow. We are happy and not particular stressed by our lack of spare funds. We both work in the care sector for a charity. We love our jobs. I have a degree and could earn more elsewhere but I'd be sure to be less happy. I've never really had money so don't miss it

I'm not sure why the op is being slated; lots of other posters seem to think it's some kind of poverty top trumps game.

At least OP is saddened and concerned for her friend. There's no moral high ground in being an old hand at experiencing financial poverty. I find some of these responses unnecessarily hard on OP. I grew up in the 60s in a family very much in hardship but I don't need a medal for it. The diminishing support from present governments is disgraceful.
That's where the anger needs to be directed!