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Original poster

I just got called a whale

170 replies

Millionaireinthemaking · 12/07/2021 11:48

For context
I gave birth 6 months ago. Had 2 children in the space of 18 months. I’m 11st 5ft4 size 14...
is this really society’s version of being a “whale” now days? I’ve been trying my best to loose weight but this has really hurt me. Why do people have to be so evil

OP posts:
hilariousnamehere · 12/07/2021 12:39

Whales are magnificent, glorious and one of my favourite creatures.

You sound utterly lovely and not at all whale shaped.

Your "friend" sounds like a waste of space - who says that?!

Silvercatowner · 12/07/2021 12:39

I told them I didn’t appreciate being called a whale! Their reply was “ I said get up stop laying there like a whale” but that was defo not what Was said

But that's so better...

Silvercatowner · 12/07/2021 12:39

Sorry... no better

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/07/2021 12:42

Size 14 is nowhere close to being a whale. You have a gorgeous curvy womanly figure and don't be told any different. Even if you were size 34 it gives her no damn right to pass any comment. Unless shes perfect which lets face it no one is she should keep her stinking gob shut.
I'm absolutely fuming for you.

How did it come about did she just come out with it and say "You're a,whale or were you talking about weight.
I think you need to choose your very very close friends a lot more carefully.

oakleaffy · 12/07/2021 12:42

I had a BMI of 19 and needed size 14 tops
14 is hardly whale like!

ChargingBuck · 12/07/2021 12:46

@Millionaireinthemaking

We was waiting to leave... They said “get up you whale” and it was not said in a jokey way either!
Yeah, that's not lighthearted, it's a deliberate goading attempt to hurt you.

Is this "friend" longstanding, or new?
Either way, it's an inexcusable remark in any context other than this being a regular type of joshing exchange that each of you know is warmly sent & received - & is a two-way street.

From your reaction, it obviously isn't.
But is it a total one-off OP (in which case of course you are going to feel blindsided by it) or ... looking back, do they have form for put-downs?

Because you have no obligation to tolerate this remark. Accepting it without challenge will just open you up for more. And I suspect that maybe this is the culmination of small slights that you have previously brushed off, leading 'friend' to imagine they can escalate to this specific hurtful remark.

I see you left & chose not to go back. Well done. Don't waste another moment wondering if you should have - & you have no obligation to see this person again if you don't want to. Only you can decide that, based on the other qualities of the friendship. But I imagine, as you reflect on the dynamic of how things have actually been in the past with this person, that you might be re-evaluating how much, if any, time you want to spend with them in future.

chris8888 · 12/07/2021 12:49

Only way to survive this sort of thing is to follow the wise words of Coco Channel.
I dont care what you think of me - I dont think of you at all

MrsPerfect12 · 12/07/2021 12:50

Please don't contact this "friend" let her think about what she has done. Flowers

Ziga · 12/07/2021 12:51

Well this is disgusting. As previous posters have said - doesn’t matter what size you are no one has the right to say that. Bin this friend immediately and don’t give this a second thought.

nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 12/07/2021 12:58

What an absolute thunder cunt.

I'm sure you are absolutely stunning and you are certainly not fat! They are just hideously jealous! You have two lovely babies and what has your friend got? A bad fucking attitude.

She is not your friend and I think it's time to cut them out.

BountyIsUnderrated · 12/07/2021 13:00

Wow 11st a whale, I remember being that before I got pregnant and people thought I was average.
I am 5ft 4 and 11st 10 now after having a baby (lost a stone and a half), would love to be back to 11st again!
Obviously it's not super slim but nowhere near being a whale. It's nasty to throw such remarks around anyway, I wouldn't speak to them again.

Pinkandpink · 12/07/2021 13:03

Some people are horrible. I was walking along the front of the school after picking my two up from primary school. We tried to cross the road and a young guy, who was learning to drive with an older guy sitting with him. Not a learning company. The older guy pulled the window down and shouted fat cu**! I was so angry. I got in my car and drove around to get the Rev number to report but I couldn’t find them.

addler · 12/07/2021 13:12

Must be a thing today, I was crossing the street holding baby DS and had just kissed his downy head, feeling very happy and content when a man shouted out the car that I was a beached whale. I'm used to that sort of thing, although it's been a while, but I'm not used to it happening with DS.

JeansShirtJeansJacket · 12/07/2021 13:17

Wow, that's really twatty. Who the fuck says stuff like that to people?!

WhereDidIGoNext · 12/07/2021 13:19

@addler

Must be a thing today, I was crossing the street holding baby DS and had just kissed his downy head, feeling very happy and content when a man shouted out the car that I was a beached whale. I'm used to that sort of thing, although it's been a while, but I'm not used to it happening with DS.
I am staggered that some people think this is An acceptable way to behave. I’m sorry you had that happen to you
MarmaladeToastAndAMarmaladeCat · 12/07/2021 13:22

That’s horrible and you aren’t a whale. I had 2 children 18 months apart too and 6 months post birth I was far, far bigger than you. You’ve spent the last couple of years growing and looking after 2 tiny humans. That is very hard work and pretty amazing your body has done that. Your friend doesn’t sound like a good friend at all.

PerpendicularVincent · 12/07/2021 13:23

@Millionaireinthemaking

Very very close friend!
More like a very very close wanker.

You don't need people like this in your life.

windmill26 · 12/07/2021 13:23

@Millionaireinthemaking

Very very close friend!
WOW! Who needs enemies with friends like these! Maybe is time to say goodbye?
CherryPlumCrow · 12/07/2021 13:24

@Millionaireinthemaking

Very very close friend!

Well that's a few stone you can lose right there!! Get rid of the bitch.

MasterBeth · 12/07/2021 13:25

It's a nasty thing for a friend to say to anyone, but I can't agree that it means that your friend is no longer your friend.

Of course they're your friend. And friends should be able to talk to each other and share how hurtful what they said was to you. Don't give up on a friendship just because someone said a horrible thing. Give them a chance to apologise.

CherryPlumCrow · 12/07/2021 13:25

@addler

Must be a thing today, I was crossing the street holding baby DS and had just kissed his downy head, feeling very happy and content when a man shouted out the car that I was a beached whale. I'm used to that sort of thing, although it's been a while, but I'm not used to it happening with DS.
What the hell? Shock
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/07/2021 13:25

He wouldn’t have shouted anything at you had you been a 6ft tall 6ft wide bloke. I guarantee it.
The jumped up piece of shit.

EileenGC · 12/07/2021 13:25

She's not a friend.

Can I just say congratulations for spending the last 2 years of your life growing two babies, and how impressive that is? Our bodies are amazing and produce life - there's nothing more deserving of respect and admiration.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/07/2021 13:26

That message was to Addler, btw

WhereDidIGoNext · 12/07/2021 13:27

@MasterBeth

It's a nasty thing for a friend to say to anyone, but I can't agree that it means that your friend is no longer your friend.

Of course they're your friend. And friends should be able to talk to each other and share how hurtful what they said was to you. Don't give up on a friendship just because someone said a horrible thing. Give them a chance to apologise.

I mostly agree with letting someone apologise, we all make mistakes after all. However I just don’t see how you can be friends with someone who deliberately said something spiteful and unnecessary which they knew would hurt you. It completely goes against what a friendship is and I can’t imagine what their explanation would be that would allow forgiveness.