Miss Mrs Ms

[DinosaurDiana]

I know we’ve had this discussion before, and I said that I wish we had one title for women like men. I was told we do - Ms, but I’m not that fond of it. To me it says left on the shelf female, but I’ll no doubt be told that that is my own prejudice !! It’s actually from having older, unmarried teachers at school.
However, I am going to use it on unofficial things like my Tesco and Next account to change my own attitude.

Why would you associate it with "left on the shelf"? I mean ignoring the fact that that's a ridiculous idea which suggests that a women's entire worth is tied up in bagging a husband, surely many or all of the pitiful "spinsters" you're imagining would use Miss, not Ms?

My mum has always used Ms and she was married since before I was born.

Doesn't a wedding ring show you are married anyway even if you call yourself Ms or do there not wear them?

Married best part of 20 years (would have preferred civil partnership but not available for heterosexuals then). Never ever use Mrs or DH’s name, don’t share a bank account, and we don’t wear wedding rings. It is no business of anyone else’s what our marital status is.

No wedding ring
Retain my name
No shared finances
Never used the term Mrs and refer to my partner. Neither of us use term husband or wife

I have been Ms since I was 14.

The Dc’s teachers were mostly addressed as ‘Ms’ and none of the kids had any difficulty with it.

‘On the shelf’ is a horrible sexist concept.

Welcome to the C21st DinosaurDiana, I hope you get on OK with your intro to using Ms.

I'm a Ms and have 4 kids with the same bloke and a career and reasonably active social life. I'm approaching 50 so pretty past it by your standards but have been Ms since I was 15.

Ah well sonarl and I'm sorry to type this but I can't resist.

I'm a Mrs and have two children with the same man and a career and a social life.

I have never been Ms, before I married I was Missand but reading your post makes it sound as though it may be "slang".

I've always referred to myself as Ms as my relationship/marital status is no one's business, particularly within my professional role. I wonder whether an older single male would be regarded as "on the shelf" in the same way that the OP refers to single women?

I prefer no title but I'm happy with either Ms or Mrs.

As I changed my name when I married, it wouldn't make sense for me to be Miss with my new surname.

I use Ms. If that's not an option I use Mr.
Married, kept my surname.

Anyone who calls me Mrs Husband's first name and surname will be shot.

Either Ms or Mrs would be fine for me too, so long as it was for all adult women and not linked to marital status

At some point in the past I would have agreed with that sentiment.

However it has come to my attention that I am being told from numerous quarters what to think these days - that I can't just rely on my sex but I have to assign myself a gender too, that I'm not allowed to believe in scientific fact, that I am a cis woman, and a whole host of other things.

So to now have yet another discussion about what I call myself, and a title I don't want being arbitrarily being imposed on me... well it's a step too bloody far.

@RosesAndHellebores

Ah well sonarl and I'm sorry to type this but I can't resist.

I'm a Mrs and have two children with the same man and a career and a social life.

I have never been Ms, before I married I was Missand but reading your post makes it sound as though it may be "slang".

What does this mean? I’m sorry I don’t understand?

I'm married and I'm Ms.

Like others, also didn't change my surname

I think Rosesandhellebores missed the point of the previous post.

I personally think Miss and Mrs are both sexist.. why should women be defined by whether they're married or not? Men certainly aren't. Ms for me.

surely many or all of the pitiful "spinsters" you're imagining would use Miss, not Ms?

Agree - if anyone has been ‘left on the shelf’, it’s those who go by Miss - not Ms.

No wedding ring
Retain my name
No shared finances
Never used the term Mrs and refer to my partner. Neither of us use term husband or wife

Wedding ring.
We have some shared finances. It’s all our money, regardless of whose account it is in.
Use the term Mrs and refer to my husband as my husband and he refers to me as his wife.

@RamItBunty

No wedding ring Retain my name No shared finances Never used the term Mrs and refer to my partner. Neither of us use term husband or wife

What do you refer to him as, then?

I mean, it’s not like I use the term ‘husband’ very often. But there are occasions.

It would be odd to refer to him as, say, ‘my person’, when there’s a perfectly good, well understood word right there: husband.

I'm a 62 yr old Ms - I think I was a Miss when I was growing up, but can't really remember - I just know I became a Ms as soon as I was aware it was a thing, and I've been one ever since, although my marital status has varied :)

we both say partner. It’s genuinely not that hard. It’s in common parlance
Neither of us like the term husband/wife. Plus we have been partners longer than we have been married so it is the term we use.

I love being a Mrs, I always correct people when they call me Miss. I do think it's weird that men don't have that problem tho

I use Ms. I'm very happily married. I have a senior job and have to sign off on many contracts and I would hate to use Mrs on those documents. Whether I'm married or not is no business of anyone in my professional life.

I'm double barrelled and go by Mrs Maiden-Married often just Mrs Maiden. Officially I'm Mrs Maiden-Married.

I did go by Ms before I got married and got swept away in the whole 'yay I'm married' bit and ditched it. I wish I hadn't now.

If I could pick any title I'd quite like Mistress. Like Granny Weatherwax.

Yeah I didn't get this either? What is slang?

That's to hadenoughofthisbullshit btw