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Original poster

Miss Mrs Ms

233 replies

DinosaurDiana · 08/07/2021 17:23

I know we’ve had this discussion before, and I said that I wish we had one title for women like men. I was told we do - Ms, but I’m not that fond of it. To me it says left on the shelf female, but I’ll no doubt be told that that is my own prejudice !! It’s actually from having older, unmarried teachers at school.
However, I am going to use it on unofficial things like my Tesco and Next account to change my own attitude.

OP posts:
Isitpossi · 09/07/2021 09:59

I only use Miss

littlejalapeno · 09/07/2021 10:04

@Hadenoughofthisbullshit

I’m Ms but very often find it changed to Miss on documents and official things, I always register as Ms. It happens so often that it can’t be a coincidence. I’m starting to wonder why I bother.
Saaaame! Especially at my doctors surgery which pisses me off. Having asked to change it to Ms several times. I’m defo not under 18, which is the only acceptable circumstance for “miss” or “master” imo
mafted · 09/07/2021 10:06

It doesn't bother me at all.
Although I never know how to pronounce Ms is it Mizz or Muzz? I've only know one a married teacher at my DC school but being a teacher she inevitably got called Miss as that's what children seem to revert to for females regardless of title.

IceBearFan · 09/07/2021 10:09

I love Ms! I don’t know why but I don’t like Mrs. I’m Ms on everything, I’ve used it since before I got married. I like how it looks. Never had any bother using it apart from at DC school, where the headteacher calls me Mrs (in emails or whatever).

TheAbyss · 09/07/2021 10:14

I am a Mrs and have been since I was 19, and I have never worn a wedding ring Grin

Iggi999 · 09/07/2021 10:39

@mafted

It doesn't bother me at all. Although I never know how to pronounce Ms is it Mizz or Muzz? I've only know one a married teacher at my DC school but being a teacher she inevitably got called Miss as that's what children seem to revert to for females regardless of title.
If only there was google, and lots of helpful videos.
StarlightLady · 09/07/2021 10:43

What puzzles me even more is the taking on of the male initial. For example Mr and Mrs J Smith. Female identity removed!

Youdiditanyway · 09/07/2021 10:45

I’m married and use Ms maiden name. I’m not old or on the shelf, I dropped Miss when I turned 18 in the same way boys drop Master at 18.

coogee · 09/07/2021 10:51

What puzzles me even more is the taking on of the male initial. For example Mr and Mrs J Smith. Female identity removed!

Not in my case. Our initials are the same.

We received a letter last week addressed to Mrs and Mr x congee.

PattyPan · 09/07/2021 10:55

Our initials are the same too. I briefly considered a doctorate (DP is already doing one) but realised then we would both be Dr P Pan and that seemed like it could end up being quite annoying. There were obviously other reasons why I decided not to but this definitely crossed my mind!

mafted · 09/07/2021 11:10

If only there was google, and lots of helpful videos.

The Teacher I referred to was Muzz but the majority of videos seem to be Mizz so it's not that helpful when there doesn't seem to be a definitive pronunciation.
I presume it's down to the preference of the person it's referring to but unfortunately they don't usually pass on a link to click when their name is in print.

DaxtheDestroyer · 09/07/2021 11:13

@coogee

Married and Mrs. Before that I was a Miss.

Ms has never appealed and I don’t have any hang ups about people knowing whether or not I am married.

It's not about having a hang up about whether people know you are married or not. It's about inequality. Your husband's title doesn't disclose whether he is married or not, yours does. Why is that? Why is it (has it been) important to know what a woman's marital status is and not a man's? Just the judgements on this thread about women and whether they are married, 'left on the shelf', bitter, divorced, lesbians etc etc should make you pause and think? Why does society judge a woman on whether she's 'bagged' a man or not? Is that all we are worth?
Wishihadanalgorithm · 09/07/2021 11:29

When I was at school all our teachers were called either Sir or Ma’am which I really liked. Obviously female teachers (back in the 80s) were known as Miss or Mrs in the main but in class the marital status was made irrelevant.

I live with my partner of 10 years and we have a DD. Because we have a child so many people think we are married. I am a teacher and use Ms, but so many pupils and parents address me as Mrs when sending me an email.

These old fashioned attitudes are tedious. I don’t understand why women want to become a ‘Mrs’. I understand the argument of everyone having the same family name (though DD and I don’t and it isn’t a problem) but why change your title as well? Maybe I don’t get it as I don’t see marriage as a badge of honour as some of my friends do - who also hated the thought of ‘being left on the shelf’.

DontDoThatGeorge · 09/07/2021 11:30

[quote JingsMahBucket]@DontDoThatGeorge that must be infuriating.[/quote]
We try and find it funny, but its amazing how often it happens

Also nine times out of ten they call DP Dr, he knows I love my title though (worked hard!) and thoroughly enjoys correcting them and saying it's me, bless him.

Iggi999 · 09/07/2021 11:32

Mafted I think "muzz" is just wrong though. When she came up with that there probably was no google to check Grin

mafted · 09/07/2021 11:36

@Iggi999

Mafted I think "muzz" is just wrong though. When she came up with that there probably was no google to check Grin
Possibly a regional accent thing. Anyway the only time I've ever heard it hence the confusion 🤷‍♀️
coogee · 09/07/2021 11:37

It's about inequality. Your husband's title doesn't disclose whether he is married or not, yours does.

You are correct, it is unequal. I have the option to use Miss or Mrs and, if I don't want to disclose whether I am married or not, Ms.

My husband has to make to with Mr whether he likes it or not.

coogee · 09/07/2021 11:37

make do

mafted · 09/07/2021 11:39

Iggi999
This video sounds like Merz

Shoxfordian · 09/07/2021 11:44

I use Ms, used it before and after marriage

BlowDryRat · 09/07/2021 11:56

I use Ms. I'm very happily married but don't feel that my marital status is relevant information in most scenarios where I have to give a title.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 09/07/2021 12:01

I am fed up with being asked by judges when I give evidence if I am Miss or Mrs. Even more fed up with the blatant eyeroll I get when I explain I am Ms. I never understand the hatred for Ms. I am happily married, but that's my own business, and not something that's relevant every time I have a form to fill in.

M0nkeybars · 09/07/2021 15:42

@StarlightLady

What puzzles me even more is the taking on of the male initial. For example Mr and Mrs J Smith. Female identity removed!

Aargh my MIL insists on addressing Christmas cards etc to Mr and Mrs X Husband's surname 😡😡😡

Drives me nuts! I know she does it on purpose to wind me up as I know she hates that I didn't change my name (she loves to get my back up). My husband doesn't give a shit, he's fully aware I don't belong to him lol.

Skybluepinkgiraffe · 09/07/2021 15:57

I'd like it if all women were Mrs and all girls were Miss, with it being nothing to do with marriage.
I find Ms a bit clunky to say.

RamItBunty · 09/07/2021 17:02

But I’m not a Mrs and don’t want to automatically be addressed as one
Genuinely what is clunky about Ms.it’s not challenging in least to say

Partner mum did go through a sending letters phase of Mr and Mrs HisSurname I returned them not known at this address….she stopped using that nomenclature