Miss Mrs Ms

[DinosaurDiana]

I know we’ve had this discussion before, and I said that I wish we had one title for women like men. I was told we do - Ms, but I’m not that fond of it. To me it says left on the shelf female, but I’ll no doubt be told that that is my own prejudice !! It’s actually from having older, unmarried teachers at school.
However, I am going to use it on unofficial things like my Tesco and Next account to change my own attitude.

I use Ms, I'm married and kept my own name. I like Ms it suits my feminist ideals. I think it would a wonderful if there was something universal for women because I don't like the marriage related connotations of Mrs.

The more you embrace Ms the less weird it becomes.
I started using Ms two years ago and since then lots of women I’ve known have also started to use it but said they didn’t have the confidence to before.

I use miss, maybe it makes me feel younger or maybe I couldn’t give two shits if anyone knows if I’m married or not!

I'm Mrs, even though I've been divorced 14 yrs.

To me it says left on the shelf female, but I’ll no doubt be told that that is my own prejudice !!

Sad that you have so much internalised misogyny.

I'm married and a Ms and still use my own name.

I don't usually like to wind people up but I saw my SIL twitch when I (politely) corrected my MIL who used Mrs Husband Name after we'd just been married and it's worth it for that alone. MIL seemed quite impressed!

I'm another Ms, married, but kept my surname. Seems so sexist that married men keep their 'anonymity', but the default for women is a title change. Stick in an apostrophe and its a man's possession.

I'm Mrs, but I double barrelled my own name and my DH's. I'm known as Mrs Maiden-Married. Quite rare in a relatively young millennial. Hopefully one day I will be Dr Maiden-Married.

I don't mind Ms, but no one has ever called me that. It does seem that the modern they/them/Mx activists have hijacked it a bit, though. That puts me off it, rather than anything to do with married/unmarried.

I use Mrs and Ms - didn't change my surname which I got married. We also own a business and work together so I prefer Ms for work but usually use Mrs for everything else.

I'm married and changed my name but use Ms. I like that it means that no more hints to my marital status than DH's. For the same reason, family using Mr and Mrs doesn't bother me as that gives away as much about DH as it does about me.

The only people I know IRL that use Ms are divorced or a bit bitter and angry. Which I know may/is also be a sexist judgement…

I am furious my options are that, or to announce my marital status before my name

I will be dr next year but then I feel like Ross from friends - not a real dr!

Older unmarried teachers? Did they discuss their relationship status with you? Ffs.
Most of my friends use Ms, other than the ones who use Dr. Maybe it just depends what circles you move in?

I prefer not to use a title at all. This is not an option on many forms so I use Ms if I must use one, but often, if should be irrelevant to an organisation whether I'm male or female, let alone married or not.

Well who would want to be an older unmarried teacher eh @DinosaurDiana ?

It seems you couldn't think of anything worse! Maybe have a think about your ageism and misogyny

I use Ms and have done for probably 30 years or so. I happen to be married, and if that's relevant then people know about it. If it's not, like when I'm filling in a form, why do you need to advertise it? It's not an achievement.
Neither of us wear wedding rings either.

It's a personal choice but I prefer Miss Maiden Name or Mrs Married Name.

I use Dr when I can, or Ms if it's not an option. I am married and have changed my surname (mixed feelings about that now but it's done!) but don't feel the need to be defined by my marital status.

I've always used Ms since I got my first bank card.

I definitely make assumptions about women who are ‘Ms’.

I assume they’re intelligent, educated, critical thinkers, confident, probably a bit left-leaning, progressive, etc, etc.

I also think it very much depends on the circles you move in. And yes, like it or not, it’s a class issue (I’m not in the UK, by the way).

If you’ve only ever meet one Ms and they were an angry lesbian / bitter divorcée, then I’m probably going to make all sorts of assumptions there, too. Didn’t go to University, probably haven’t travelled. Lived in the same area all your life.

I’m not saying my assumptions are right - not at all! But they are definitely my first judgment assumptions.

I was happily a Ms before I got my PhD. Now if there's no option to use my correct title of Dr I opt for Mr - if it's going to be wrong, it might as well be properly wrong.

I've been using Ms since my teens and I'm now in my 50s. I've been married for 27years and I still hate it when people refer to me as Mrs Grundy not Ms. And I didn't take my husbands surname either.

I also am a Ms. Far from 'left on the shelf' with two divorces under my belt and more sexual partners than I care to admit count.

I’ve also been Ms since I was a teen. My mother goes by Mrs, but informed me there was an option for women not to declare their marital status.

@BlueSurfer

I use all three on a frequent basis. I’m married and didn’t change my surname.

Same here, don't really care what ppl address me as - although if I'm asked I'll mostly say Mrs. Haven't changed my name and it baffles me how confused people are that I am Mrs A and my husband is Mr B - surely he would be Mr A if you're Mrs A? 🤯

In France they no longer use "Mademoiselle" on formal paperwork etc., everyone is just Madame, can't distinguish between married / unmarried.

I like this thread!

I've been unmarried-but-partnered for 21 years, am 46 y/o and I still use Miss. Because fuck 'em.

DP & I probably will get married, & then I'll probably use Ms.

I don't mind the term Ms, for all the reasons stated above.

But for now I revert to Miss as meaning 'unmarried woman' and wear it with pride.