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Original poster

Miss Mrs Ms

233 replies

DinosaurDiana · 08/07/2021 17:23

I know we’ve had this discussion before, and I said that I wish we had one title for women like men. I was told we do - Ms, but I’m not that fond of it. To me it says left on the shelf female, but I’ll no doubt be told that that is my own prejudice !! It’s actually from having older, unmarried teachers at school.
However, I am going to use it on unofficial things like my Tesco and Next account to change my own attitude.

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 09/07/2021 06:10

I think all women are Frau in Germany now too. Much more sensible.

I changed my name without thinking about it much when I married Blush I use Ms though as it’s nobody’s business.

HardStareBear · 09/07/2021 06:11

My personal preference would be for all girls to be Miss and all women to be Mrs (just as men are Master and Mister). I'm personally not a fan of how Ms sounds when it's said, but I'm absolutely in favour of a title for all women that doesn't announce their marital status.

MitheringSunday · 09/07/2021 06:16

I'm now in a country where it's one title for all adult women and the equivalent of Miss has died out. Plus I have a doctorate. So I get round all this. But I married fairly young, before i completed my doctorate, and found I absolutely hated being called Mrs. I hadn't minded Miss so much, possibly because I was still quite young at that time.

MitheringSunday · 09/07/2021 06:18

Yes MinnieMountain - Germany is where I am and even my 5yo dd gets Frau on her post from the bank Grin

Imcatmum · 09/07/2021 06:20

I use Ms. with both my maiden and married surname.

Left on the shelf!!! By fucking who? Oh yeah....men.

BarbaraofSeville · 09/07/2021 06:28

I think all women are Frau in Germany now too. Much more sensible

But if we did that, how would the 'proud Mrs' brigade show off their achievements?

Youarestillintherunning · 09/07/2021 06:31

I've always been Miss, but after reading this thread I feel inspired to start writing Ms for everything. Thank you ladies!

Pinchoftums · 09/07/2021 06:36

This happily married Ms was a happily unmarried Ms too.
Been using ms since I was about 19.

StarlightLady · 09/07/2021 06:42

Evidently, l’m a skirt wearing feminist. I agree with @HardStareBear - I use Ms because l don’t think martial status should be relevant to a title. That said, l only use it when l’m obliged to use a title.

But it would be so much easier if we were all Miss or Mr. Ms doesn’t trip off the son very well.

EverythingDelegated · 09/07/2021 07:07

I only use Ms because it doesn't denote marital status, I don't particularly like it. If all adult women used Mrs and it no longer meant married I'd use it.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 09/07/2021 07:15

I don't use a title unless "forced" (e.g. a webform won't submit without one), I just give my name.

daisypond · 09/07/2021 07:19

I have used Ms for 35 years, since I was a teenager, unmarried and married. My own DDs have been Ms since they were babies. If Mrs was the universal title for all women, I’d be happy with that too, if there’s a need for such a title -I’m not sure there is

Rosesareyellow · 09/07/2021 07:20

If all adult women used Mrs and it no longer meant married I'd use it.

Yes as in some other countries like pp have said. I wonder how it started in Germany though? When did they decide every woman married or not was Frau and did away with Fraulein for adults?
Is it a legal requirement to be married to call yourself Mrs?? Can unmarried women just go ahead now and use Mrs and make Miss obsolete? Or vice versa?

Rosesareyellow · 09/07/2021 07:21

Or all just agree to call ourselves Ms...

ConstantCrayfish · 09/07/2021 07:22

I've been MsCrayfish since I was 13, and it suits me fine. Still have to battle being down as Miss and Mrs in various places though, which frustrates me given how many years it's been used.

I'm saddened by the posters who find others use of their self-chosen titles irritating though. Everyone is free to describe themselves however works for them in my book - it makes no odds to me. What irritates me is society's need to describe women by marital status.

BarbaraofSeville · 09/07/2021 07:36

Is it a legal requirement to be married to call yourself Mrs?? Can unmarried women just go ahead now and use Mrs and make Miss obsolete? Or vice versa

Not a legal requirement, titles are completely meaningless as far as I can make out and no-one actually has an 'official' title anyway.

My driving licence says Miss because I applied for it when I was 16 and didn't know any better.

I generally use Ms any time I'm forced to use a title (like a PP, I'd be totally happy to do away with them, as I can't see what purpose they serve, organisations who need to know your sex or marital status can ask that question as titles aren't a definitive indicator of marital status as this thread illustrates).

At one time I did have a car that was registered to Mrs Barbara Seville, I've no idea how that happened, either an inputting error, or assumption by the salesman, I bought it brand new on a PCP contract, so I had the car and finance deal as Mrs, my driving licence as Miss and my insurance as Ms. And do you know what, the world didn't end.

yesterdaygirl · 09/07/2021 07:36

I'm not married and I call myself a Miss and I prefer Miss I'm in my 40s never married . I do find some ppl automatically put me down as a Ms with the assumption I'm divorced as I'm older and I have to correct it .

GalacticDragonfly · 09/07/2021 07:38

I’ve been married almost half my life, and have always used Ms + my surname for most things.
I used Dr in work when it was relevant, but since changing job I only use it if people get uppity about me using Ms.
Having marital status included in your name is an odd expectation, but then so is including gender, so my vote would be to ditch all titles and just use first name + last name.

That said, I do enjoy the options on the Phoenix comic subscriptions: “The Amazing Joe Bloggs”, “The Incredible Joe Bloggs” etc

honeylulu · 09/07/2021 07:40

I'm married (kept own surname) and I'm still Miss. The reason is that my husband didn't change his title on marriage so I wasn't going to either.

I know it's traditional to change name and title but in my view it's a horrible tradition. It stems from the days when women had no legal identity and were owned by their father or husband. Yuck, no thanks.

As for "I'm showing I'm proud to be his wife" - did your husband's change their name or title to show they are proud to be your husband? Nope, thought not. It smacks of the misogynistic notion that women have to be grateful for being able to drag a man down the aisle, while the man rolls his eyes about "the old ball and chain".

Constantcrayfish · 09/07/2021 07:41

@BarbaraofSeville

Is it a legal requirement to be married to call yourself Mrs?? Can unmarried women just go ahead now and use Mrs and make Miss obsolete? Or vice versa

Not a legal requirement, titles are completely meaningless as far as I can make out and no-one actually has an 'official' title anyway.

My driving licence says Miss because I applied for it when I was 16 and didn't know any better.

I generally use Ms any time I'm forced to use a title (like a PP, I'd be totally happy to do away with them, as I can't see what purpose they serve, organisations who need to know your sex or marital status can ask that question as titles aren't a definitive indicator of marital status as this thread illustrates).

At one time I did have a car that was registered to Mrs Barbara Seville, I've no idea how that happened, either an inputting error, or assumption by the salesman, I bought it brand new on a PCP contract, so I had the car and finance deal as Mrs, my driving licence as Miss and my insurance as Ms. And do you know what, the world didn't end.

A conveyancing solicitor once told me that once I'd got married my name legally became MrsHusband; depressing at the ignorance out there from people who should know better.

I am Miss and Mrs all over the place, because people have made assumptions, and I can't get things changed back - including my hospital records for example. I have never ever put myself down as anything but Ms but so many people still can't cope with it.

All my kids have the surname Crayfish in their Scouts records because the leader assumed they had the same one as me when the first one started, and I just CANNOT get that changed, even though I have mentioned it every single time one of them gets given something with the wrong name on it.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 09/07/2021 07:42

German usage:
Even in my youth (last century) Fräulein was only used if the woman in question insisted and is no longer a part of any drop down menu.
Herr / Frau stopped being linked to marital status some time in the 1980ties, when I became an adult.

HighNetGirth · 09/07/2021 07:43

Married and use Miss (I didn't change my name). I like confusing the patriarchy.

daisypond · 09/07/2021 07:45

I had a solicitor tell me Ms meant I was divorced and I couldn’t use it on the documents. They put me down as Mrs on the forms.

Bimblybomeyelash · 09/07/2021 07:51

I’ve used Ms all my adult life.

user1471519931 · 09/07/2021 07:54

Another Ms here - I like using it as people can't tell my marital status, although to be honest everything is more casual now and people just use my name and it's not often it is heard these days

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