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Original poster

Weird letter received

419 replies

Thegirlthatwanted2begod · 06/07/2021 20:47

DH received this letter in the post today in a used NHS envelope that was stuck down with sellotape. Both of us are stumped to why it's been sent as I've googled and Mankind doesn't look to be part of NHS and the number is correct but the message on the letter has freaked us out,

has anyone ever had anything similar to this?

Weird letter received
OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Ginsoakedcatlady · 07/07/2021 18:17

@NannyAndJohn

I wonder if he purposefully sent it to himself and made sure the OP was the one to open it?
THIS!

He appears in the bedroom with a letter just as he’s about to have a shower. The letter is is crumpled, in an NHS envelope which he can legit give to the OP to open on the pretence that she knows he’s expecting something from them.

He didn’t get it front downstairs, he got it out of his pocket.

crazeelala2u · 07/07/2021 18:22

[quote Thegirlthatwanted2begod]@chickenyhead

Unlikely, ground floor flat is a young gay couple, middle flat is a husband and wife with a toddler

I don't think it's anyone from his work and it certainly wouldn't be anyone in our friend group.

Not drip feeding but another thing that was weird on the address was it was almost like abbreviated so looked like

Mr Surname
House no and road name but abbreviated to Ave instead of avenue for example
Town name but full town name instead of the shortened version everyone uses
County think Great Manc instead of Greater Manchester for example
Postcode [/quote]
Does he have a common name that they could have just sent it to the wrong Mr surname?

I have the most generic first and last name and get that quite often.

Kteeb1 · 07/07/2021 18:26

If it has your husbands name on it you're right to be concerned. I would ring your local police station and register it just in case.

Zoejj77 · 07/07/2021 18:28

Is it any funny joke from someone?

ActonBell · 07/07/2021 18:29

I received an abusive letter at work and some similar emails. I did report to the police and one of the main things they were interested in was the level of personal detail. So, did it mention directly things specific to me, my life, my place of work. It didn’t - it was just generally abusive. They did track down the person - worked for a local council and used the council server! - and they were spamming people all over the country with this stuff. 10s of people rather than 100s and we were all connected in so far as we worked in public facing roles, with public email addresses, working in similar fields.

Basically, the person had serious mental health problems and the letters/emails as unpleasant as they were were much, much more about them than anyone they were sending them to.

Though I wouldn’t dismiss this as just a joke and would hang on to the letter, the lack of personal details in the contents would give me some reassurance. Someone could be sending these or posting them through letterboxes almost at random. Yes they have a name and address but that’s easily enough obtained. You say your other half has a common surname - they might have sent this to all the Mr Johnsons in the phone book in a particular town.

So, retain it, report if you’re concerned but also take some reassurance from the lack of anything personal. It doesn’t suggest the sender knows anything about you or your partner.

GileadTurnsYouIntoABitOfACunt · 07/07/2021 18:32

Ginsoakedcatlady

NannyAndJohn

I wonder if he purposefully sent it to himself and made sure the OP was the one to open it

THIS

He appears in the bedroom with a letter just as he’s about to have a shower. The letter is is crumpled, in an NHS envelope which he can legit give to the OP to open on the pretence that she knows he’s expecting something from them

He didn’t get it front downstairs, he got it out of his pocket

Ah! So you actually saw him! Bravo!! Wink

Why on earth would anyone do that? Please explain your thought process.

StopCryingYourHeartOut · 07/07/2021 18:34

I must say, I was wondering if the husband has sent this himself.

To what gain though? Surely if he genuinely thought you was abusive, this would have been raised at some point already during the years you were together.

Gemmy96 · 07/07/2021 18:35

This is WILDLY creepy. Really really creepy. Sounds like an obsessive ex (maybe someone going through a divorce?), an unrequited crush, or someone who just hates either of you and is trying to cause chaos/freak you out.

Either way, my response would be to install a video doorbell (one that goes to your phone and uploads to a cloud); change the locks and make sure all windows are locked; and go to the police if it happens again. Idk where you'd stand as regards harassment but the police would be able to inform you

FairyDust123456 · 07/07/2021 18:39

@JemIsMyNameNooneElseIsTheSame

Probably irrelevant, but did the name and address sit perfectly in the plastic window? I would have no idea how to line that up so it fits while typing it out. Seems incongruously professional compared to the text speak.
I was going to say this exact thing. It's quite an art getting it to match up perfectly, especially if it isn't part of your day to day life such as your job etc. Which could point to a work colleague of your husbands, as you mentioned it was more phone / office based rather than front line? OTOH, maybe this would explain the crumpleness of the letter? Trying to make it line up?
TatianaBis · 07/07/2021 18:42

@ActonBell

I received an abusive letter at work and some similar emails. I did report to the police and one of the main things they were interested in was the level of personal detail. So, did it mention directly things specific to me, my life, my place of work. It didn’t - it was just generally abusive. They did track down the person - worked for a local council and used the council server! - and they were spamming people all over the country with this stuff. 10s of people rather than 100s and we were all connected in so far as we worked in public facing roles, with public email addresses, working in similar fields.

Basically, the person had serious mental health problems and the letters/emails as unpleasant as they were were much, much more about them than anyone they were sending them to.

Though I wouldn’t dismiss this as just a joke and would hang on to the letter, the lack of personal details in the contents would give me some reassurance. Someone could be sending these or posting them through letterboxes almost at random. Yes they have a name and address but that’s easily enough obtained. You say your other half has a common surname - they might have sent this to all the Mr Johnsons in the phone book in a particular town.

So, retain it, report if you’re concerned but also take some reassurance from the lack of anything personal. It doesn’t suggest the sender knows anything about you or your partner.

I think is the most helpful post on the thread.

Given the lack of flat number and first name of DH, the googlability of the postcode from a road name and door number, imo it’s probably the closest match.

The letter does not read to me as something from a genuine OW or someone he’s supposedly confided in.

WinterIsGone · 07/07/2021 18:49

I agree TatianaBis. And if they reuse NHS (and perhaps other prepaid) envelopes, it wouldn't cost them anything.

Finlandia · 07/07/2021 18:56

Some years ago a student developed an obsession with me and told people we were having a relationship (we weren’t, not even close). I think she even believed it herself. She didn’t have my home address but if she had it’s the kind of stunt she might have pulled. So I wonder whether it’s a similar situation. If it is, my guess would be there’ll be more.

latetotheteaparty · 07/07/2021 19:05

@HangingOver

I think it's from someone who is mentally ill

Same. I had a friend who suffered psychosis and he did stuff like this. It was scary because although he was completely unhinged, he was still cunning about finding out where the person lived and everything about them. He didn't know the person, he he only spoke to her once and he thought she was his girlfriend. He also "visited" multiple other addresses at night leaving random incomprehensible "gifts". Be really vigilant OP. I don't want to scare you but things narrowly avoided ending badly for everyone in his case.

OP you could suggest to your DH it might be this and suggest that you contact the police as the person mioght be unstable - and see how DH reacts - if he knows who it is and has something to hide he won't want you to contact the police?

I assumed affair because of the "come back" etc, and because to be perfectly honest I know very few men who are faithful - I was single for a couple of years in early thirties and a LOT of seemingly lovely attached guys came on to me - but at the same time it is important to trustyour intuition, if you definitely feel deep down there is no way, then I would hope you are right.

knickerelasticgonetwang · 07/07/2021 19:32

In my opinion you should photocopy the letter and put in a folder. If anymore come in always do the same and take the originals to the police

LowlandLucky · 07/07/2021 19:33

The letter is not from the NHS but maybe deep down you know that. I think your Husband needs to be honest with you.

Skyla2005 · 07/07/2021 19:42

Call the number and ask for an explanation

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 07/07/2021 19:52

@Skyla2005

Call the number and ask for an explanation
It hasn’t come from that organisation! It’s a resource which has been given by the letter writer as a resource for men suffering domestic abuse, because that is what they are implying that the addressee is suffering.
ShrinkingViolet9 · 07/07/2021 19:58

@Skyla2005

Call the number and ask for an explanation
Please read the thread.

The number is the phone number of the organisation "Mankind Initiative" - a registered charitable organisation.

www.mankind.org.uk

The text in the letter has been pasted or copied word for word from their website text:

"Male Victims of Domestic Abuse – Please call 01823 334244 to speak to us confidentially"

The OP has attempted to speak to someone at the org, but the line has been busy.

Why do you think that a registered charity would be able to offer any explanation for the OP's husband being sent an anonymous letter alleging a partner is abusive and asking him to leave his partner and return to her, sent in a probably already used NHS envelope?

No-one has suggested that the letter originated from Mankind.

ShrinkingViolet9 · 07/07/2021 20:06

@LowlandLucky

The letter is not from the NHS but maybe deep down you know that. I think your Husband needs to be honest with you.
I don't think the OP has implied that she thinks the letter has been sent out from the NHS.

It's like wading through treacle...

bemusedmoose · 07/07/2021 20:09

That has been hand delivered by a nutter!(SERIOUSLY - i have experience here) probably heard you bickering or something and seen it as abusing who they are obsessing over. But in all honesty, after a year being stalked and finally contacting the police - they are brilliant with this sort of thing and will keep a log of everything until the sender reveals themselves then they can throw the book at them. I was told to report every thing that happened or got sent. So that would be my advice to you - sender is clearly unstable (you wouldn't send a message like that if you thought they were being abused because the abuser would go through their mail and read it then abuse them for it).

Whatflavourjellybabyisnice · 07/07/2021 20:11

@Divebar2021

I think it sounds like a fixated person. ( someone with a psychiatric condition) - I think as a PP said the envelope would be from a NHS re psychiatric services. Sadly some people who are ill imagine they’re in a relationship with a person and the only thing preventing them being together is the “ evil” aka violent wife. People imagine they’re members of the Royal family etc. This person may have only encountered your DH casually through work or has seen him in the neighbourhood- there doesn’t need to be significant contact. I’d be alert to people hanging around and further attempts to contact him.
This is 100% possible.
maidsmum · 07/07/2021 20:17

Does the NHS in England use blue envelopes regularly? In Scotland they are for vaccination, so that threw me a little. Definitely weird though

Original poster
Thegirlthatwanted2begod · 07/07/2021 20:18

Cheers all, I don't think there's much else We can do at this juncture, DH is fully aware of this thread so if he WAS hiding something then I'm sure this would have prompted him to come clean as I've read out most of the replies, so if I was abusive and he was hiding something then it would be silly to let him know about this thread and for me to create it in the first place!!

I think we will hang on to the letter and envelope for now, and just hope nothing else is received, if it does I promise I will come back and update.

OP posts:
toocold54 · 07/07/2021 20:45

OP is he reading the thread at the same time as you as the replies come in or are you reading them to him?

iwannafurloughmydp · 07/07/2021 20:50

It’s been out in an NHS letter so that no one else open, apart from him ?
Is this from some sort of “mistress” ? Someone that he opened up to and now she is trying to convince him to go back to her and leave you ?

Sorry, this looks so creepy !
I would have tried to call the number to see where it goes to