Page 9 | What has someone done to make you see then in a different light

WorkHardPlayHard1 · 07/07/2021 19:44

@FlowersinJune

My ex FIL. I always got the impression my inlaws looked down on me (much wealthier then my background).

During our divorce my ex said that a large deposit from my inlaws was a loan not a gift (and hence had to be deducted from the pot being split).

My FIL was asked if he wanted to be added as an intervener. He turned up at the hearing suited and booted, I presumed to lie and say “yes this was a loan”. He didn’t. He told the court what a wonderful daughter in law I was. How my ex was a fool and the deposit was a gift.

Aw what a decent man, that brought a tear to my eye. Xx

Anonmummyoftwo · 07/07/2021 19:50

My now ex best friend completely turned on me not long ago because she wanted me to help cover for her so she could cheat on her partner of 10+ years with a ex boyfriend who beat her infront of her kids who where only 3+4 at the time and he also stole 1000s off her. She had been messaging him on a secret Facebook account and asked me to cover for her one night by saying we were having a girls night so she could stay with him for a night.

Paddingtonitspaddingtonbear · 07/07/2021 19:50

[quote Sharingthesamedream]@Paddingtonitspaddingtonbear wow,I didn’t know Pentecostals believe that as well.[/quote]
I just asked her and she said no and that she doesn't know what it means. 🙈

Vivianebrookskoviak · 07/07/2021 20:01

There was a woman I was friends with who was absolutely lovely when I knew her in person but we had stayed friends on FB after she moved away but after she commented on a post of mine on FB and got into an argument with another friend in the comments it soon became very apparent she was the biggest hypocrite I've ever known and a misinformed one at that. She's a militant vegan now and yet still works for a steakhouse chain(I've known people before who also did but none were militants)..she was berating the very industry that pays her wages and the people paying her tips...she's very experienced in what she does so it's not like she can't pick and choose and she went from working for the company in one city, then another company and back again..I knew she was vegan since she moved but she seemed such a nice person before I never thought she'd turn so militant like that! She's careful not to let it slip on social media where she works like being pictured at work etc...the other friend apologised but I said he'd done me a favour exposing her. I unfriended her straight off.
She just was such a lovely person before that it stunned me!

princessandthedragon · 07/07/2021 20:03

My brother. He told me I miscarried my baby because I deserved it. I hate him. He denied it afterwards but he sent it to me via text.

whynotwhatknot · 07/07/2021 20:04

@endofjune

Unfortunately mine is my dad. Absolute hero growing up and I loved him so much. Then he took up with another woman a couple of months after my mum died.

i had to reply to this because the same thing happened to me-he was my best friend not so much now-hope youre ok @endofjune

Thekindofwindowsfaceslookinat · 07/07/2021 20:05

A close friend of ten years voted for Brexit and then for the Tory party. It proved to be a bit of turning point, all told.

We're still friends, but I see her in a different light now.

IReallyLikeCrows · 07/07/2021 20:12

My stepfather. We remained close after my dm died and I really loved him. He came into my life when I was 19 so he was never my dad, but he was kind, loving and a good man. Ten years ago I was seriously ill and nearly died. No one could get in contact with hi

m so he didn't know or come to see me, which was fine. Near-death gave me a new outlook on life and I understood it was not his fault. But. He had been with a woman for a couple of years. I wished that he wasn't because she was chaotic, an alcoholic and had caused lots of problems for him. He loved her though so I accepted her in his life, listened when things were hard and never slagged her off even though I really, really wanted to.

A couple of months after I got out of hospital she got hold of my phone number and started calling me. She knew that I had been abused by the man my mum was with before my stepfather. She screamed abuse about me liking it, that I was a whore just like my mother (who wasn't a whore, btw), that I was constantly trying to get off with my stepfather, that everyone would be better off if I'd died. It got so bad I had to involve the police. My stepfather knew about it and even told me he thought I should contact the police. It was horrible. The police had a word with her and the abusive calls stopped. I still didn't say to my stepfather "You should leave her" because I hoped that he just would. Just before Christmas he called me to say that we could no longer be in touch because she didn't like him talking to me and he hoped I understood. This was nearly ten years ago now and he broke my heart. Yes, he's kind and loving and all of that but ultimately he's a coward and the hurt still hasn't gone away.

A nicer one, although to be honest the woman in question didn't do anything to make me see her differently. A new friend of one of my best mates. I really didn't like her when we first met. She was stand-offish, odd, just not the sort of person I wanted to spend any time with. Best mate told me about her history after we'd met up and I realised that she was just socially awkward and had had a tough life. Next time we met I decided to be kinder and now I really like her and she's come out of herself. Sometimes people who appear stand-offish are just shy or socially awkward and you just need to put in a little extra effort to get to know them.

Francescaisstressed · 07/07/2021 20:17

A freind got a puppy, failed to look after it and it was visibly afraid of her husband. He admitted they had given it a snack and rubbed it nose in its mess in the house. They only had it for 6 weeks and gave it back to the breeder. Really changed my view of them and we are barely acquaintances now.

AdditionalCharacter · 07/07/2021 20:21

Close friend, we both had 3 boys of similar ages. She was pregnant with her 4th, had a girl. From the moment that girl was born, everything has been focused on her.

Sticks her boys in summer school clubs so she can have girly time, takes her daughter to lavish parties and day trips, gets designer clothing to wear while her brothers are dressed in supermarket clothes (yet wore designer before their sister was born), every photo of every special occasion has to have her daughter in it, even if it has nothing to do with her...the list goes on and on.

She also stopped speaking to me soon after as we no long had anything in common and didn't want me to be jealous .

thefirstmrsrochester · 07/07/2021 20:26

DS (15 years old) started hanging around with a local wrong’un.

Was in my garden one afternoon and heard a bit of a commotion and went into the lane at the back of the houses to find a very drunk man who lives on the other side of the lane collapsed all scratched and bloody in a hedge with all his shopping scattered about.

I tried to get the man up but he was a dead weight and I’m 5ft.

Wrong’un appears, chats away to the wee man as we get him up and gets the house key from him so we can take him into his house, settles the wee man down, chats away whilst putting the shopping away and making him a cup of tea whilst I’m getting the man’s life story. We both sort out the man’s cuts and scrapes then leave him settled.

Turns out the wee man gets drunk and falls into the hedge on a fairly regular basis and the wrong’un has been picking him up, getting him into the house and making sure he’s ok for years.

He is a truly lovely boy.

Sparechange · 07/07/2021 20:29

At my church (CofE) you have to be baptised yourself to be a godparent, ideally confirmed in the faith too. It's a shame she didn't establish that you were pagan before she asked you and it's a shame the friendship ended because of it. A christening isn't a naming ceremony or a party, it's a serious religious rite.

DS has one Jew and one atheist amongst his godparents

The vicar said they both excellent choices, as they are committed to their beliefs and have great integrity

Babygotblueyes · 07/07/2021 20:32

A friend complaining that it was a downer talking to her sister whose husband had Alzheimer's and a degenerative disorder which meant he was slowly dying. Friend said she couldn't be bothered with listening to it because her sister was always moaning, and so she just avoided the sister or changed the subject. Shocking lack of empathy and care.

Perky1 · 07/07/2021 20:36

Ex friend who stole money from me.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 07/07/2021 20:46

@Francescaisstressed I'd be the same. Cunts. I've ended friendships and relationships with family for being shit with animals.

Perfectly lovely woman, known her for years. Posted some racist shit on SM when George Floyd was murdered. End of friendship. Instantly.

Cornishbelle · 07/07/2021 20:48

Father who thought it was fine to leave my mum then try and take a massive cut in a divorce even though she would have been left destitute, and then when she very sadly died suddenly days before Christmas came back to find paperwork to cash in an endowment policy before I could register the death and bought a sports car.

Uncle who has basically disowned me as 2 days prior to lockdown 1 when our family home was full of an unknown illness I wouldn't let him come in and chatted instead on the doorstep he told me try not to worry too much about it all it's a fuss about nothing. Has not contacted since I was unable to attend an extended family member funeral due to work commitments as he can't understand some people have worked like mad throughout no annual leave allowed except for absolute emergency and having to pick up different tasks to help with the pandemic. He was furloughed for a long time.

There are other positive examples I know, don't mean to sound negative. But my takeaway is I used to bend over backwards for people but no more. The lack of empathy and consideration for others from some is beyond shocking. Now I focus on the folks within my four walls. And try to be a generally genuine and helpful friendly person without getting too deep with most others

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 07/07/2021 20:53

@ShirleyPhallus

I can’t believe someone has been judged for buying their rapidly growing child second hand clothes and buying nice stuff for them self, that’s totally reasonable!

Yes I agree... but not paying £10 for a school trip is pretty cheap and crap to be honest. Children and clothes are fickle; they can attach to random garments and not necessarily new things, but experiences build a child's world.

tallduckandhandsome · 07/07/2021 20:55

@inmyslippers

My ex showed me a picture from his group chat. It was depicting black men as monkeys...I am black

What a racist twat, glad he's an ex.

Lulu49 · 07/07/2021 21:06

Nothing wrong with buying second hand for kids who are growing constantly and buying yourself new. The school trip thing is a bit different though.

Anotheruser02 · 07/07/2021 21:07

@Susannahmoody

Mate is currently NC with her mother, who I know well.

I just can't get past the utter nastiness of this.

You're the Narcissist’s Flying Monkey. You will never know their relationship like your friend does. People think my family are very nice.

TableFlowerss · 07/07/2021 21:09

@Paddingtonitspaddingtonbear

When my mother told me us siblings didn't come before her husband or God. That we were 3rd in line with the ministry. That's when I truthfully lost respect for her.

She sounds like a mental case your mam.

I will never understand how anyone can love anyone/thing more than their kids…. And to tell them?!?!?! Insanity

MissConductUS · 07/07/2021 21:13

Some of these stories are truly horrible.

This is not much of a story, but my MIL seemed a little standoffish when we first met and I thought it was because I come from more of a working-class background. Since getting married she has been nothing but lovely, supportive and kind to me. She's also been a big help with the DC's uni fees, which are huge as we are in the US.

TheFormidableMrsC · 07/07/2021 21:16

Somebody who I really liked and respected who sent me a private message on FB having a dig at a comment one of my oldest friends said to me (and which I laughed at because I know him, his humour and we go back to early childhood) simply because my friend is black. As if joking with a white girl was not OK. I didn't realise that person was a massive racist. Took a huge step back from that person.

Zoomoff · 07/07/2021 21:19

@Thekindofwindowsfaceslookinat I had a friend exactly like this. The Brexit vote I could look past, but it caused her mask to well and truly slip and she started spouting racist, bigoted and xenophobic crap that you'd see headlining the Daily Heil. She has no sympathy for MH, poverty or homelessness etc. as, in her fortunate world, these are things that can be overcome or they shouldn't have allowed themselves to end up in that situation in the first place. There's more, but I'm trying to forget about her.

angeltattoo · 07/07/2021 21:21

@AdditionalCharacter

Close friend, we both had 3 boys of similar ages. She was pregnant with her 4th, had a girl. From the moment that girl was born, everything has been focused on her.

Sticks her boys in summer school clubs so she can have girly time, takes her daughter to lavish parties and day trips, gets designer clothing to wear while her brothers are dressed in supermarket clothes (yet wore designer before their sister was born), every photo of every special occasion has to have her daughter in it, even if it has nothing to do with her...the list goes on and on.

She also stopped speaking to me soon after as we no long had anything in common and didn't want me to be jealous .

This is horrendous! Those poor boys