What has someone done to make you see then in a different light

[NeedyNora]

General chat post. Curious.

Friend of many years trash talked my children …. And essentially me as a parent in front of XH. I found it impossible to come back from that … I discussed it with her but she really didn’t see why her being honest about what she seen as my DDs bad behaviour was an issue. She has DDs of her own now … I hope she fares better.

I didn’t know a colleague volunteered at winter shelter until I met them there
Turns out they've been doing so for years. Told no one. Just got in with it. Quietly

My sister in law and her husband. She earns a big salary as CEO of a bank but when her husband's business had to shut during covid they said they couldn't afford to close so claimed the grants whilst also still seeing clients the whole time. Sadly this was of no suprise but when vaccinations became available they both immediately faked being carers to jump the queue and I can't look at them the same way anymore.

To balance it out I was part of a large friendship group. One of the ladies kind of annoyed me in no specific way so I avoided her and would think oh no when I ended up sat next to her as felt we had nothing in common. I was struggling with anxiety and went through a bad patch where I cut myself off from everyone. Because I was not contactable by phone she wrote me a letted saying she hoped I was okay. We are now very close friends. She is actually wonderful.

A work colleague who went on and on about how she was sticking to the rules during lockdown, how she'd not seen anyone, not been anywhere etc.

The truth was she was mixing with all of her friends, parties at their houses and at her house and posting all of it on social media. Kept calling it 'friendship bubble'. She had more bubbles than a bottle of champagne! I've begun to realise that her marriage isn't as wonderful as she'd like you to think....and she's just not happy with either her husbands company or her own company.

A work colleague said he had given his expensive binoculars to a deserving local, when he was coming to the end of a sabbatical in the Middle East. He then claimed off his insurance saying he had dropped them overboard on the ferry.

I am not sure... I was that child and was the butt of teasing at school and everywhere, being sniggered at, never fashionable and happy about how you look. I think it is good for kids to learrn about their likes and dislikes re clothes and that would be impossible if your mother won't even buy a £4 top from Asda! It reallly isn't much fun being mocked for wearing clothes you don't like yourself.

@ShirleyPhallus

I can’t believe someone has been judged for buying their rapidly growing child second hand clothes and buying nice stuff for them self, that’s totally reasonable!

I am not sure... I was that child and was the butt of teasing at school and everywhere, being sniggered at, never fashionable and happy about how you look. I think it is good for kids to learrn about their likes and dislikes re clothes and that would be impossible if your mother won't even buy a £4 top from Asda! It reallly isn't much fun being mocked for wearing clothes you don't like yourself.

missed out quote!

Brexit voting!

My brother moved in with his new girlfriend. She never liked his sprocker puppy and made him get rid of it . Then the week after she brought a German shepherd puppy . I can’t believe my brother got rid of such a gorgeous little dog and I can’t look at him in the same way anymore. It’s also another reason not to like her .

Negative one - Brexit voting. Being an EU citizen, I realized these people are really not my friends.

Positive one - one woman at work i used to dislike. Gossipy kind. But when my beloved dog passed away, she gifted me two kittens. Now we're related. Through our cats. She's a lovely lady, just very talkative.

[quote Sharingthesamedream]@Paddingtonitspaddingtonbear it’s a religious denomination that expects the exact same thing,God 1st,husband second and kids last.They say they’re the only religion that follows the troof (truth).[/quote]
Oo I have no idea. I just thought that it was what all religious people thought? I think she belongs to a pentecostal church, not sure if that means anything?

@Batsy

When my friend uninvited me from her daughters christening and being God Mother because i'm Pagan and her husbands family were Catholic.

Didn't speak to her again after that.

Agreed with other posters. You absolutely can't be a godmother if you're pagan. At my church (CofE) you have to be baptised yourself to be a godparent, ideally confirmed in the faith too. It's a shame she didn't establish that you were pagan before she asked you and it's a shame the friendship ended because of it. A christening isn't a naming ceremony or a party, it's a serious religious rite.

A friend Id even been on holiday with and we chatted everyday, i gave her tons of emotional support for her situation, health, relationship etc. I asked her to write me 1 small thing and not even put her name on it to get me out of a spot. She blatantly said no. It was nothing to her but i realised she was only my friend for gossip. Deleted from my life immediately.

@ohfuckitall

Actually.. yes i can/could. My being Pagan is entirely my choice, but i was raised in the Christian Church, have read the bible, attended church for most of my life pre late teens when i converted. I know more about the Christian Faith than most 'special occasion' attendees.

The fact was, she KNEW i was Pagan when she asked me, i asked her several times if she was ok, we talked in depth about it. Then the week before i got a phonecall telling me i was no longer welcome because her in-laws would object to my private faith... i wasn't even invited to it at all.. i was told categorically, i wasn't welcome full stop.

But sure, its fine to treat someone like that.

@KaleJuicer i am baptised, and confirmed, thanks.

Came out as demisexual. Said person has shagged more people than I ever will.

Whenever I realise someone's complete self-centredness at the cost of others and it hadn't been that obvious before, I get quite surprised and I mentally ditch them. I will continue to be pleasant if we have to interact e.g. at work or school run but if someone is a taker, I lose respect for them as I find it quite basic.

@kidsatuniemptynester

Lovely person, beautician, chatting away as you do. Talking about her new puppy ( large breed), I asked who was with the dog while she was working 10 hour days? Nobody, the puppy was in it's crate, with a bowl of water, until she got home. Ten hours. What are plans for when it grows a bit and doesn't sleep so much, are you going to employ a puppy walker (asked hopefully)? Nope, just buy a bigger crate as I can't risk my furniture.

Jesus this is awful , I despair, how cruel and thoughtless can you be. Post it anonymously on her page to boycott her and lose her business She as big he, hope you stopped using her.

My ex FIL. I always got the impression my inlaws looked down on me (much wealthier then my background).

During our divorce my ex said that a large deposit from my inlaws was a loan not a gift (and hence had to be deducted from the pot being split).

My FIL was asked if he wanted to be added as an intervener. He turned up at the hearing suited and booted, I presumed to lie and say “yes this was a loan”. He didn’t. He told the court what a wonderful daughter in law I was. How my ex was a fool and the deposit was a gift.

Also, a positive example: my maternal grandma died in 2005 and while I always loved her, I've since found things out about her which made me admire her even more and wish she was alive so I could talk to her about them. She was pretty ahead of her time.

We had been best friends since we were three, and stayed close even after I moved away aged 9, visiting regularly. When we were 14 she was staying with me and a much taller girl who had been bullying me at school walked up and grabbed me by the scalp hair and lifted, twisting and pulling as she did. I was struggling and screaming as I thought my hair was going to rip out, and she didn’t even say ‘stop’ or call for help. She just walked away. Eventually a woman crossed over from the bus stop, the bully let go of my hair, and I was able to get away. My best friend told me she didn’t want to get involved, and asked me not to tell my mum until she had gone home. We stayed in touch until we were about 20, but were never as close after that.

When I was 26 I was studying in our old hometown and bumped into her parents in a shop. They were delighted to see me, begged me to get in touch as my friend would love to hear from me. I never did, I still struggle with the fact she just walked away, even though there would have been no ramifications from the bully.

I was about to move in together with my recent ex. We were both driving in separate cars after a weekend away with his and my children. He pulled alongside me on a country road to give me directions and he was smoking in his car, WITH HIS CHILDREN IN IT.

I couldn't believe that I was actually going to move in with someone that thought this was ok, if he thought this was acceptable, what else did he do when I couldn't see? I saw him in a whole new light and I lost all respect for him and faith in his "goodness". I ended things a week later. Just glad really that I saw it otherwise we would have bought a place together and I would have realised too late.

@Paddingtonitspaddingtonbear wow,I didn’t know Pentecostals believe that as well.

Didn't pick up after her dog. Challenged her but was told you only have to pick it up from pavements

@PhilSwagielka

Also, a positive example: my maternal grandma died in 2005 and while I always loved her, I've since found things out about her which made me admire her even more and wish she was alive so I could talk to her about them. She was pretty ahead of her time.

Its all about the details Phil!