What has someone done to make you see then in a different light

[NeedyNora]

General chat post. Curious.

Made a load of nasty comments about my sons food allergies (I make them up for attention apparently - yes the NHS are so stupid they let you see an allergy consultant every year and give you epi pens for made up allergies. Not to mention the A&E visits for reactions all just totally made up!).

We were so close and she was such a big help when DS was a baby, so much so that I made her his godmother but for some reason his first reaction just caused her to totally change - it was weird.

I hardly see her now I had to reduce contact after her repeatedly telling me how I was worrying for nothing - he isn't really allergic, the testing doesn't mean anything and anyway its not that serious. Her friend has diabetes now that would be something to worry about etc. etc.

*not minimising diabetes btw but I mean come on, don't worry about anaphylaxis just be thankful he doesn't have diabetes - like wtf they can both be an equal worry to a parent I'm sure!

When my mother told me us siblings didn't come before her husband or God. That we were 3rd in line with the ministry.
That's when I truthfully lost respect for her.

@theworldsbiggestcrocodile

My best friend had an affair with my now ex h. That certainly made me see her in a different light. It wasn't just that though really-it was the things that came out afterwards such as horrible messages she'd sent him about me, (some whilst she was actually out with me having what I thought were good times)the lies she'd told, the ways she'd tried to manipulate me, conversations between us all that I now look back on and realise were actually about something else-I would never have called it in a million years. It's been 6 years and I still don't trust my own judgement about people anymore.

Wow, that is a huge betrayal. She must have been desperate for a man. Nothing to do with your judgement of people. Friends' exes are off the table nine times out of ten, unless maybe there's been a boyfriend in between! but your x husband

I know someone who sexually propositioned his dead wife's sister before the funeral had even happened.

Really don't think much of this person anymore.

Different people but:

Turned out to be a Trump supporter

Told me she’d had her cat declawed

Ex husband spent 6,000 pounds on a watch while claiming he was too broke to buy our daughter shoes.

He wasn't my ex at the time... plus she was still married to her then husband... they all just turned out to be dark wrong uns... and it totally passed me by...

@Longislandicedteaplease

Same thing here. Someone I considered a very good friend had a very very slight accident, admitted nothing was wrong but went through the medicals and appts regardless (for her and her 5 year old son!) and spent the resulting compensation on a trip to Disneyland Florida! She still can’t see what she’s done wrong.

Parents couldn’t be bothered to join their child’s 50th birthday zoom party but are planning to fly to across the globe to see their other child in the middle of a pandemic.

Unfortunately mine is my dad. Absolute hero growing up and I loved him so much. Then he took up with another woman a couple of months after my mum died.

My friend has always been a very good, liberal person - always campaigning, pushing for people to do the right thing, extremely pro equality, feminist, human rights etc. She came to visit me a few months ago and 5 minutes after she left I got a call. "Hi, Enil, I think I hit your neighbour's car when I reversed out your driveway." (The neighbor has an annoying habit of parking on the road opposite my drive.) "Can you check to see if they've got a dashcam or a video doorbell? I really can't afford to pay the excess at the moment."

From the other side: young-ish bloke who lives round by my parents, probably about 18/19. Always looks a bit menacing, the type you might cross the road to avoid at night iyswim.

Anyway, lady in the house opposite was putting her bins out and she collapsed in her garage, the door was open where she’d opened it. She had MND and had started to deteriorate.

She called to several people walking past who ignored her, then she saw this bloke coming across the road and was a bit afraid because she always thought he was a bit of a bad character.

Anyway, the bloke helped her up, took her into the house, made her a cup of tea and put the bins out for her.

Everyone in the street has seen him differently after that.

I found out a friend was a flat earther!! It didn't change our relationship, but it did give me pause for thought!

being less generous then they seem to like to appear.
they could easily afford to buy all 3 gift options and more, yet went with the cheapest option.

it surprised me because that's not the image they cultivate!

My Exh only came to visit me once when I was in hospital for 2 weeks….and even then he sat on a chair in the corner of the room playing on his phone. I’d had friends and family visit me daily, cards and gifts etc…FaceTime calls and lovely ‘get well’ texts but nothing from him but this one visit that he quite obviously didn’t want to be at.

It was then that I realised I had become and inconvenience to him and I was of no use to him unless I was at home cooking and cleaning.

I left him a week after I was discharged from hospital.

Twat.

Lied to their colleague, who was in a wheelchair. Told them that while they could attend that event due to accessibility issues, there was another one that they would be able to go to, being organised by a different department.

There wasn't.

My ex showed me a picture from his group chat. It was depicting black men as monkeys...I am black

My brother bought the cheapest food for his children, when they lived with him. All the while he eats the premium stuff. They had different cupboards and shelves in the fridge. He actually showed me, and was proud that he didn't waste money on them! He would have cadburys chocolate, walkers crisps, salmon etc. Horrible man. They've grown up and don't visit him any more, can't say I'm surprised.

I get on much better with my mother in law since I’ve had children. She’s really supportive of my choices, doesn’t criticise and we seem to really understand one another. Also, we’re both pretty scathing of Brexit despite voting for different parties. It’s a really lovely thing to have more in common as time goes on.

My grandfather. I always saw him as a soft, smiling gentle old man, full of humour.

He had moved away from family and about a hour away from us to be near the seaside.

Over the years they had a few medical issues but even though they were in good health with a hip and back issue it had slowly fallen to me to help with shopping, cleaning and so on. I was driving a distance every second weekend to willingly help out as I really enjoyed their company (I always felt sorry for him as no one seemed to have time for him)

One day I quickly called to say I had found the details of the thing he wanted and I would drop it off in a day or two. He was obviously put out as he wanted the item then and there.

He didn't hang up properly and heard him say to his wife how fucking useless I was. Looking at her makes me ill knowing she is with a [very nasty racial slur]. She is an absolute lump of a human with no redeeming features what so ever. Ugh, I despise her. No wonder she cant find a decent man to get married too instead of her [racial slur] boyfriend. How could she not be ashamed of herself. Didn't she take pride in herself? God, [my fathers name] must be so bloody disappointed. Her age, no husband, no kids and not even a looker. It wouldn't be so bad is she had a high flying career to show for it, but no she's got nothing to show for herself, nothing. I'm embarrassed for her, I'm embarrassed to be seen with her and her [racial slur] boyfriend

I was shocked. absolutely floored. Then I was angry.

I called him back later in the day. Advised him that he hadn't hung up, that I heard everything. I coldly said I would not be back. He tried to say that I was confused and I was talking about a mutual acquaintance. I replied that we both know that is a lie, goodbye.

That day I found out why no one had anytime for him.

A friend had an affair with a married man
Justified it with the usual ‘he is breaking the vows, not me’ bullshit but knew full well there was a wife and young children involved

Ended the friendship there and then and would never have anything more to do with her

She got unceremoniously dumped when the wife found out, and was apparently very low about it all because he had promised her a new life but she had made her own bed so deserved it all

A great friend told me that it was fine to drop litter as it kept road sweepers in a job. I assumed he was joking, but no, perfectly serious.
Unfortunately he died prematurely and is greatly missed by all, but when everyone is saying how wonderful he was in every way, I hate myself for immediately thinking 'but he did have a terrible attitude regarding rubbish'.

@TheMirrorofHerDreams god that’s so awful

friend's bf cheated on her after being an item for years.
they got engaged - he cheated again (different person)
they got married - he cheated again.

He was always very sporty, handsome, loyal yo friends & family, helpful, lovely, smart, popular with a good sense of humour and ended up with a really great well-earning job. everything you'd want in a man on paper.
apart from of course being a lying, adulterous scum bag.

well, if it's true good to be true...

*too good

Years ago, made friends with a lovely Mum at a playgroup. She really was great, we saw each other regularly, slightly less so after they moved but still kept in touch and visited periodically.

I was on FB back then and she was obviously one of my FB friends. On evening, she’d been posting and it got political…I genuinely couldn’t believe that this lovely person had posted what she did, it was so intolerant and narrow-minded. It was as if a veil had been lifted and there was someone under the friendly facade who basically doesn’t like anyone who doesn’t think/believe exactly what she does!

I gradually let the friendship fade out.