What has someone done to make you see then in a different light

[NeedyNora]

General chat post. Curious.

Someone I know's wife very tragically died young of cancer. Not long before she died they had got a lovely little dog together. Within months he was shacked up with someone new, and when she moved in with her cats the lovely little dog was swiftly got rid of
It gets worse. A little while later, they decided to get a dog (!) and rehomed one from a local shelter. Then a few weeks later returned it!
They subsequently ended up getting two more dogs which they have kept, but the whole thing of getting rid of dogs just sat SO wrongly with me.

Family members post Covid restrictions easing. We had our little boy in December and he has barely met any of my DHs extended family (Aunts, Uncles, cousins etc) . When he was born/during lockdown they were giving it the whole, we can’t wait to meet him etc etc. Some of them live within less than a mile and haven’t once reached out.

My dsis.
Me and dh have 3 children.
Her and her dh have 2.
There are no parents on either side still alive. We had always said that if the worst happened, we would have each others kids.
I suggested we should plan it properly. We both have good lives and life insurance etc. She then said that she would only look after the oldest and youngest. Not the middle one who was more difficult.
I am still, many years later about what the hell she was thinking. I very rapidly indeed dropped the entire matter and just kept my fingers crossed that I would never be put to the test (cos I'd have had her kids rather than them going into care or to her batty inlaws).
I have never ever felt the same about her again.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

Someone who I’d thought perfectly nice and normal, with dds around the same age as ours, told me they used to have a dog but she got fed up with it. So she got her dh to drive it into the countryside and ‘let it go’. End of that friendship, then.

Yes that is upsetting

I remember working with someone who said she released her pet rabbits into the woods when they didn't want them anymore ☹️

My nanna. I hated what she put my mum through. Later I learned more about her upbringing and then having my own 2 kids, compared to her 6 and her husband working away. It is still night right but it put her as a person in a more sympathetic light.

As pp said my MIL it was a bumpy start not helped by a language barrier and a "take the path of least resistance" ds/dh. She is one of the most open minded forgiving , do your own thing people I know. She is great.

A woman I worked with years , soft spoken friendly older lady type . I thought she was very nice until I realised she would put you in situations where you had to help her or look a twat, while at the same time stopping you from doing your time sensitive job. She always came out looking better and more sympathetic to the boss.
I was very young and it was a valuable work place lesson.

Neighbours (married male couple, no kids) have just rehomed their dog following one of them being unwell.

The other neighbour (who did all the work with the dog) is utterly destroyed, and openly admitted that he only agreed to "stop the arguments". I find it very hard to look at the instigator (let alone have a civil conversation) but do my best for the sake of his lovely husband.

My MIL announced that she knew who the good and bad people were at the school gates dependent on if they walked left or right (to the private estate or ‘council’ estate)

Former friend and neighbour showed me a house she owned and rented out. She thought it was a palace ,it was a total shit hole. It was the start of the slow realisation that she was a money grabbing, selfish, narcissistic bitch!

Work mate of mine has a gorgeous dog who she said she had rescued

Turns out that she knew a family who used to own the dog as a pup

They kept him in the understairs upboard-no walks,no natural light half fed and unloved so she had a fight with them and took him

All good-she loves the dog and is a bloody good dog owner (apart from refusing to train him-she does treat him well)

Turns out that not only is she still mates with the family but they bought another dog,shoved the poor thing under the stairs until he died aged about 18 months

They then went out and got another one who has taken the place of the others

She knows all this and has done nothing to help the other dogs-she can't take the latest one in as she can't afford to,but she refuses to ring the rspca or give me the address and I'll do it

I'm phasing her out-i have to work with her but I'm disgusted-those poor dogs

On the subject of dogs.
Family member purchases pup. Pup is best thing in the world etc. Photos. Instagram. The lot. Pup gets to 9 months old and suddenly isn’t perfect pup any more (teenage years for dogs if you are unfamiliar with how they age). It’s a miniature breed so nothing that can’t be properly trained. This isn’t a rottie sized dog on a rampage by any means. It’s a pup testing it’s limits.

Family member goes on holiday and returns without the dog. Story was it bit her and she took it to the vets where they were staying to be pts. I have serious doubts about this story and would a vet really pts a dog they had never seen before on the say so of an owner with no health checks etc?

Three years pass. Family member purchases pup. Pup is the best thing in the world etc. Photos. Instagram.

Desperately want to ask if they are having this one pts too when it gets a bit tricky.

These animal cruelty stories are awful and they’ve reminded me of one.
Someone I used to know had a cat who was being terrorised by another cat in the neighbourhood. So they kidnapped it and drove to some woods miles away and let it go.

@Ohhelppp

These animal cruelty stories are awful and they’ve reminded me of one. Someone I used to know had a cat who was being terrorised by another cat in the neighbourhood. So they kidnapped it and drove to some woods miles away and let it go.

Someone on here posted that story a few years back. I think he was called Andrewofogg possibly. He boasted how he took the cat and abandoned it.

Either you’ve misremembered the story from here or there are two twats like that.

There was a man with learning difficulties who lived in our road. He would often walk past our house and usually scowled at everyone. He was quite well built and looked quite intimidating.

I was 7 months pregnant and had had a lovely day out with my two daughters. I had got off the bus and was nearly home when I tripped and fell. He was walking towards me and stopped and stared and muttered "How can I help?" I was crying and so was my younger daughter. I asked him to carry my bag as we walked to my house.

He carried my bag and awkwardly said goodbye and went back the way he came.

I spoke to his parents a few days later and told them how kind he had been and how grateful I was that he was there and offered to help. I learned that he was not aggressive in anyway but suffered terrible anxiety and they had never known him to speak to a stranger in the street. We never had a conversation but after that we always made eye contact and he always said hello. He was probably the least scary bloke you could imagine!

Eating out at a restaurant which automatically adds a pound to the bill for a homeless charity. My friend very rudely told the waitress to take the pound off. I began to distance myself from him at this point. A few months later we were on the same night out, and he belittled a homeless man outside a pub. I haven't spoken to him since. My father died sleeping rough on the streets, so it cut particularly deeply.

After my DGF died, family members have discarded DGM and treat her like an inconvenience. Its heartbreaking

@Barbourella

On the subject of dogs. Family member purchases pup. Pup is best thing in the world etc. Photos. Instagram. The lot. Pup gets to 9 months old and suddenly isn’t perfect pup any more (teenage years for dogs if you are unfamiliar with how they age). It’s a miniature breed so nothing that can’t be properly trained. This isn’t a rottie sized dog on a rampage by any means. It’s a pup testing it’s limits.

Family member goes on holiday and returns without the dog. Story was it bit her and she took it to the vets where they were staying to be pts. I have serious doubts about this story and would a vet really pts a dog they had never seen before on the say so of an owner with no health checks etc?

Three years pass. Family member purchases pup. Pup is the best thing in the world etc. Photos. Instagram.

Desperately want to ask if they are having this one pts too when it gets a bit tricky.

I worked in a vets.

I quit because yes as long as you pay they will put the dog to sleep, dogs are property if the owner pays they can be distroyed, you dont need proof of anything or a medical condition.

I quit the day we where ordered to put down a 2 day old puppy because it wasnt kennel club standard - I argued that I would happily hand reer it to save its life but lost the fight as money comes first.

@PearlFriday

It gets worse. I found out by chance on social media. I was advised to call dad. I did. He confirmed. The call lasted less than a minute. My brothers ashes were scattered on my mums grave. I had no idea.

@endofjune

Unfortunately mine is my dad. Absolute hero growing up and I loved him so much. Then he took up with another woman a couple of months after my mum died.

I’m a bit surprised that you’re judging him for that if you actually love him, it sounds mean.

I think leaving a teenager alone and grieving while you shack up with another woman is mean too, but there you go, he’s only a man isn’t he.

@endofjune

I think leaving a teenager alone and grieving while you shack up with another woman is mean too, but there you go, he’s only a man isn’t he.

My dad was the same after my mum died when i was a child. He met his GF when I was 14. Also took his new GF side all the time to keep the peace. she was horrible to me. He never once stuck up for me. Heard the awful things she said and just brushed it under the carpet. The hurt was immense.

Now he is developing dementia and expects me to put him before my very young children, my husband and care for him until he dies.

People judge me for being so cold and uncaring towards my father, but they have no idea of the so called life I’ve had with him.

Family member who never stops waxing lyrical about all the people she is helping, and the charities she is supporting, will not adjust her life in any way to help her aging parents when they have needed it. That's changed my opinion a lot.

But the thing that really changed my opinion was when she came round to help us with something and got really angry, shouting and swearing about something not at all to do with her (and not even bad), and basically insinuated that we treat her like shit. Can't get over that...

MIL asked DH if he felt hard done by, with only having two parents. I only have two parents it just so happens they're divorced and in 'new' relationships (of many years).
It was the start of seeing how thoroughly judgemental of other people they all are. SIL has now joined the ranks of normal parenting giving her kids treats etc, but previously when our kids were small, we were lambasted for giving our child a sandwich as an appropriate snack for a weaning child is a pot of cooked vegetables.

As an antidote to the hideous animal cruelty stories. I used to work for a very senior woman in a very tough industry. To paint a picture, she was hard as nails, took zero shit from anyone, well respected and earned a lot of money (as in high 6 figures). She could have had the most pedigree cats on earth but instead had rescue cats that were all basically knackered. Three legs, one eye, missing tail, elderly, you name it. She always said that she went straight for those because other people didn’t want them and she wanted to make sure they had a nice home because they had clearly had a tough life. To say these cats landed on their paws would be an understatement! It always struck me as out of character, but I now think it was probably a reflection of her true character.