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Original poster

Is it rude to do this when invited for dinner?

624 replies

yummytum · 01/07/2021 18:47

I often bring my own bottle of fizzy drink when going to someone else's house for dinner.

There's been a few situations over the years where I just don't know the host enough to know if they'll have a fizzy.

Anyway, I'm off to MIL's for a dinner tomorrow night and H questioned me in the car, saying 'Oh you're not bringing a bottle of drink are you? People must feel really uncomfortable'.

I said I am! It's what I like to have with my food. He just looked very Hmm

Am I really rude to do this? Is it some unspoken etiquette? If it helps, I don't announce it's for sharing but I do always say 'Got this with me, you're welcome to some' to the person standing by whilst I put it in the fridge

OP posts:
Crockof · 01/07/2021 20:30

@KingdomScrolls

I'd think it a bit odd because most people don't drink cola etc with a meal at home. Having said that we always have a bottle of cola, lemonade, still and sparkling water, cordial, fruit juice often some pressé etc. I rarely drink tea or coffee at home so we have plenty of soft drinks.

Is it diet Coke? I've known several people who are pretty much addicted to it, drank little else and always had it with them.

I know lots of adults that do. Why is having a coke addicted, but having wine at the table acceptable.
Hallyup6 · 01/07/2021 20:31

@DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo

If find it odd that so many posters use the word 'Cola'.

Do you not buy branded drinks?

Why the heck would you buy branded drinks when you can get nicer ones for a quarter of the price?
redfairy · 01/07/2021 20:32

I would think it acceptable provided you brought enough for other guests to enjoy. Just the one bottle smacks of selfishness with a begrudging offer to share. I often take two or three bottles of Schloer if I'm driving so anyone else can partake if they fancy it.

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PurBal · 01/07/2021 20:32

I think this is weird. We always have still or sparkling water, fruit juice, cordial, a range of tonics, so I understand wanting something other than wine. But bringing pop, as an adult, is really peculiar. I wouldn't say anything though.

Crockof · 01/07/2021 20:32

@tealappeal

Dare I say it, but I suspect it's mainly the social climbers saying this is unacceptable..where the right impression matters above making your guests feel comfortable. Even if OP insisted on taking a bottle of her own urine to my dinner party, I'd make her feel comfortable and embrace the eccentricity.
And that would be the sign of a good host .

'Ah urine, would you like a flute or a tumbler, the ice is on the side.'

tealappeal · 01/07/2021 20:33

@Crockof Grin

Crockof · 01/07/2021 20:34

@PurBal

I think this is weird. We always have still or sparkling water, fruit juice, cordial, a range of tonics, so I understand wanting something other than wine. But bringing pop, as an adult, is really peculiar. I wouldn't say anything though.
Why! Why is a drink that often has caffeine in it, and is marketed to adults weird? Why is orange juice and squash acceptable?
BarefootHippieChick · 01/07/2021 20:34

To all those saying just drink water, I drink water all day long, I don't want to drink it at a fucking party

KingdomScrolls · 01/07/2021 20:34

@DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo we do but I prefer fentimans which is cola

DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo · 01/07/2021 20:34

@Hallyup6

Nope. Not having it.
Lots of own brand items are top notch. Own brand coke is definitely not one of them.

claralara42 · 01/07/2021 20:34

I would be silently offended if an adult with no unusual, specific needs brought something so basic, for their own consumption

You'd be a terrible host then, and an awful tit.

Hoopa · 01/07/2021 20:34

Completely normal we do it all the time as we don’t really drink and get sick of being offered orange juice. I tend to find those with hardcore drinking habits mock us - but that doesn’t bother me as I know they are the ones with the issue not us!

DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo · 01/07/2021 20:35

[quote KingdomScrolls]@DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo we do but I prefer fentimans which is cola[/quote]

To be fair, I'm with you on that, @KingdomScrolls.

claralara42 · 01/07/2021 20:35

@DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo

If find it odd that so many posters use the word 'Cola'.

Do you not buy branded drinks?

I do, but various ones. Could be coke, could be pepsi, could be hipster artisan wanky cola in a glass bottle, could be a weird brand. Cola covers all.
AwaAnBileYerHeid · 01/07/2021 20:35

I can't see anything wrong with bringing along a drink, alcoholic or otherwise.

Crockof · 01/07/2021 20:35

Sorry OP, I've spammed your thread. Sometimes I find the judgement and snobbery of MN unbearable. The censorship of certain things on here ...

shdodnbek · 01/07/2021 20:36

Woah people are sooo uptight! I had no idea.

I wouldn't give a flying fuck if you brought a big bottle of fizzy drink to share. In fact I'd encourage it so I can have some

You're fine OP. Work away...

peboh · 01/07/2021 20:36

Personally I'd rather people just asked my if they wanted anything specific, I'm hosting so I wouldn't expect anybody to provide anything. With it being your mil, does she not know you well enough now to have your choice of drink in?
I wouldn't be offended if you brought it to my house though. If dh is, then he should just ask your mil to provide it for you.

KingdomScrolls · 01/07/2021 20:36

@Crockof you're conflating two things I said. Most people (I know don't drink cola with dinner).
Aside from that I've known several people addicted specifically to diet Coca-Cola, just wondered if that was OPs beverage of choice

shdodnbek · 01/07/2021 20:36

@claralara42

I would be silently offended if an adult with no unusual, specific needs brought something so basic, for their own consumption

You'd be a terrible host then, and an awful tit.

🤣
sunflowerstory · 01/07/2021 20:37

Saying 'Got this with me, you're welcome to some' strikes me as the weird bit. I can't imagine walking in with a bottle of wine (or anything I brought into the host's home) and saying that.

Original poster
yummytum · 01/07/2021 20:37

@peboh

Personally I'd rather people just asked my if they wanted anything specific, I'm hosting so I wouldn't expect anybody to provide anything. With it being your mil, does she not know you well enough now to have your choice of drink in? I wouldn't be offended if you brought it to my house though. If dh is, then he should just ask your mil to provide it for you.

It's quite a casual thing with MIL so never really thought to ask/wondered why she hadn't asked. It's all very casual. Shame my FIL is dead as apparently he loved Fanta lemon Grin

OP posts:
Crockof · 01/07/2021 20:37

@DontDrinkDontSmokeWhatDoIDo

If find it odd that so many posters use the word 'Cola'.

Do you not buy branded drinks?

Ah, because 'Cola' is not Coke and can be bought in wanky glass bottles for 20 times the price and thus is acceptable.
Jennylou88 · 01/07/2021 20:38

It's not rude in the slightest!! My friend always brings a can of coke with her when she comes round to mine! Because she doesn't like brews or water and that's all I ever really have in! I'm never ever offended, just grateful I don't have to run to the shop to get something for her 🙈😂

carrieeee · 01/07/2021 20:38

I wouldn't be offended, but then I don't drink tea/coffee or alcohol so my treat drink is something fizzy and enjoy it with my meal out