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Original poster

Is it rude to do this when invited for dinner?

624 replies

yummytum · 01/07/2021 18:47

I often bring my own bottle of fizzy drink when going to someone else's house for dinner.

There's been a few situations over the years where I just don't know the host enough to know if they'll have a fizzy.

Anyway, I'm off to MIL's for a dinner tomorrow night and H questioned me in the car, saying 'Oh you're not bringing a bottle of drink are you? People must feel really uncomfortable'.

I said I am! It's what I like to have with my food. He just looked very

Am I really rude to do this? Is it some unspoken etiquette? If it helps, I don't announce it's for sharing but I do always say 'Got this with me, you're welcome to some' to the person standing by whilst I put it in the fridge

OP posts:

Chesneyhawkes1 · 01/07/2021 23:16

I always tell the MIL to make sure she's got some Cherry Pepsi max in. My Mum already knows to do this.

I'm always driving so not drinking and I don't want water with my dinner. I drink tons of water throughout the day

LopsidedWombat · 01/07/2021 23:18

I'd not find it odd or rude. I find it more unusual that people who know you well don't know what you like to drink and get some of that in when inviting you for dinner. I am aware that the drinks I keep in aren't widely enjoyed so if people are coming over I always ask what they like to drink beforehand if I don't already know.

OhRene · 01/07/2021 23:26

I think it's a good idea. I don't like wine, I also tend to drive so wouldn't be able to drink alcohol anyway. So my only other other option could very well be water. And I do not like water, at all. Awful stuff that makes me gag.

Before people start saying there's nothing wrong with water, it's just water, it doesn't have a taste..., It does, and some people genuinely don't like it. It's no different from people not liking fish, or a certain meat, or mushrooms, cheeses or bananas.

OP, if your inlaws haven't learned by now to cater for their guests properly then you should absolutely take your own drink.

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General relationships

diddl · 01/07/2021 23:32

I think it's odd to only want "a fizzy" with your meal as opposed to any other soft drink to the point that you must take some with you.

Do ypu think someone has said something to your husband?

Dasher789 · 01/07/2021 23:43

I did wonder when you said a 1/2 litre bottle - i wouldn't be offended if someone turned up with a 2ltr bottle but I'm with @peboh id just wonder why you didn't just say and I would have got some in.

Bortles · 01/07/2021 23:49

It's pretty odd. If you bring a drink to a dinner normally it would be something to share. Unless you have some specific allergy or diet and you're being helpful, it's sort of like saying 'I don't trust you to have something nice'. Are you someone who also takes food/drink on holidays abroad?

Cottonheadedninymuggins · 01/07/2021 23:50

I always take some soft drinks - usually a soft fruit juice and a bottle of pepsi to my cousins when we go for lunch (usually once a month pre-covid). They often have some too, I wouldn't think anything of it.

cantgetmyheadroundit · 02/07/2021 00:05

@bongbigboobingbongbing

I don't think it's rude but it is a bit weird. I find it a bit weird generally when adults drink fizzy pop with an evening meal. It's like having a bag of haribo next to your plate. Can't you just have water?

But why do you care?? 🤣

Thekindofwindowsfaceslookinat · 02/07/2021 00:15

People are talking variously about barbecues, lunch with family and so on. I think that taking 'a fizzy' to those kind of gatherings is pretty different to bringing one to a dinner party.

That said, with the OP putting her Coke in the fridge in someone else's house, it sounds pretty familiar and perhaps more casual than my natural expectation of a dinner party.

It's not about being 'posh' or formal though, it's more to do with eating carefully prepared food, possibly quite sophisticated and so on, and washing it down with Coke, which would - for me - kill any nuanced flavours stone dead.

I can't imagine anything less suited to nice food, especially in the evening, but vive la difference, I guess!

LemonRoses · 02/07/2021 00:16

I’d be a bit surprised if someone did that, but would accept it for a very informal supper such as a barbecue. I’d think it very rude to put a plastic bottle of cola on a dining table. Who drinks pop with their meals?

JennysMiddleFinger · 02/07/2021 03:01

I probably wouldn't think to buy in fizzy drinks for dinner unless I already knew a guest drank it so I'd be fine with you bringing your own.

lovethisjourneyforme · 02/07/2021 03:18

I'd expect people to bring their own stuff. I don't want someone sitting there with a sad glass of water because I don't have anything they like. I'm not going out and buying a huge variety of drinks (unless it's a fancy dinner or a party) just for one person so they might as well bring their own. I usually take Appletiser with me and fruity ciders for sharing if I'm going to someone's house.

Polkadots2021 · 02/07/2021 05:53

Fun fact- aspartame can give some people terrible flatulence so in choosing the fizzy of choice for the dinner party, it is sensible to know first how well your digestive system is able to handle large amounts of sweetener

Kinsters · 02/07/2021 05:54

I'd find it a little odd if a friend did this at a dinner party but wouldn't be offended at all - I'd just assume they had a fizzy drink addiction! Family is totally different though, FIL stocks our fridge with beer when he visits and we stock his with alcohol free beer and chocolate when we visit him. I'd not even think twice about it.

SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy · 02/07/2021 06:13

It depends what the ‘fizzy’ is. Since you’ve very studiously avoided saying what drink you bring, I assume it’s something childish, like Coke or Sprite, or something.

And yes, I would absolutely think it was odd if someone turned up to a dinner party with a 1.5L bottle of coke! Unless it was for the kids.

Non-drinkers do tend to bring their own tipple here - and they’re more than welcome to bring it. But it’s usually something a little more upmarket than Coke.

bongbigboobingbongbing · 02/07/2021 06:13

@cantgetmyheadroundit OP asked for my opinion so I'm giving it? That's how discussion forums work

BlueCowWonders · 02/07/2021 06:34

I'd be fretting about the single use plastic

But like a previous poster I assumed the op meant Prosecco (in an acceptable glass, recyclable bottle)

I've found this whole thread completely fascinating!

kezziethegingercat · 02/07/2021 06:45

If it was a one off dinner or infrequent I wouldn't be offended, I would think it a bit strange. I don't often drink alcohol but would be more than happy with water to be honest. In your case you're going to your mil which I presume you do a lot so it sort of implies you've been before and have found the catering inadequate so in that sense it could be construed as a little rude. I suppose it depends on your relationship.

Original poster

yummytum · 02/07/2021 06:48

Are you someone who also takes food/drink on holidays abroad?

Absolutely not

OP posts:

SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy · 02/07/2021 06:58

I freely put my hands up. I’d be mortified if my DH took Coke/Sprite/Fanta to dinner parties. Likewise, he’d disown me if I did, as well.

Crockof · 02/07/2021 06:59

To all those saying coke is childish, at what age is it aimed for? I can imagine many posters on here would go apoplectic if actual children had it, so teenagers only?

AlmostSummer21 · 02/07/2021 06:59

@LettyLoman

I wouldn't want you looking in my fridge so that would bother me. The drink? not so much.

Why? Do you keep your sex toys in there??

MaMaD1990 · 02/07/2021 07:01

I wouldn't take issue with this at all. After all, you want everyone to have a nice time and enjoy themselves. If that happens to involve a chilled fizzy pop with dinner, not a problem! I'd be more worried about the people that were silently frothing over a guests choice of beverage, there are bigger things in life to offended by!

SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy · 02/07/2021 07:03

I come on MN to do my judging - my friends are all normal.

BlueCowWonders · 02/07/2021 07:06

@Crockof

To all those saying coke is childish, at what age is it aimed for? I can imagine many posters on here would go apoplectic if actual children had it, so teenagers only?

Probably something that I'd expect people to move on from as they get older and wiser

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