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Original poster

Is it rude to do this when invited for dinner?

624 replies

yummytum · 01/07/2021 18:47

I often bring my own bottle of fizzy drink when going to someone else's house for dinner.

There's been a few situations over the years where I just don't know the host enough to know if they'll have a fizzy.

Anyway, I'm off to MIL's for a dinner tomorrow night and H questioned me in the car, saying 'Oh you're not bringing a bottle of drink are you? People must feel really uncomfortable'.

I said I am! It's what I like to have with my food. He just looked very Hmm

Am I really rude to do this? Is it some unspoken etiquette? If it helps, I don't announce it's for sharing but I do always say 'Got this with me, you're welcome to some' to the person standing by whilst I put it in the fridge

OP posts:
PurpleRainDancer · 01/07/2021 22:02

You ‘put it in the fridge’ OP.
You sound a bit obsessive Hmm

VerticalHorizon · 01/07/2021 22:03

Sometimes - the shite that gets debated here is actually worthy of a dinner party!

Squiz81 · 01/07/2021 22:06

It wouldn’t bother me.

My mum always used to take a pint of milk with her. She would drink tea and I think she was worried they wouldn’t have enough milk for the week if they used some on her tea 🤷🏼‍♀️😅 I’d say on the scale of odd, taking milk out trumps a bottle of coke

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Arsebucket · 01/07/2021 22:07

There are some odd people around.

Christ on a bike, it’s a bottle of fizzy drink, not a bag of cocaine.

As more “adult” soft drink?!

Fuck me, OP come to mine, sling your fizzy pop of choice in the fridge and we’ll have a great time. I can’t see the tiniest problem.

Greenmarmalade · 01/07/2021 22:07

YANBU and people are meant to be warm and hospitable to guests, so they should make you feel comfortable with your choice.

CharlotteRose90 · 01/07/2021 22:07

Nope completely fine. I don’t drink alcohol and at most dinners or parties im offered tea or water. So like you I take my own. It’s normal and fine in my eyes.

VerticalHorizon · 01/07/2021 22:07

@Arsebucket

There are some odd people around.

Christ on a bike, it’s a bottle of fizzy drink, not a bag of cocaine.

As more “adult” soft drink?!

Fuck me, OP come to mine, sling your fizzy pop of choice in the fridge and we’ll have a great time. I can’t see the tiniest problem.

I can. Seen the state of the back of your fridge?
Arsebucket · 01/07/2021 22:08

@PurpleRainDancer

You ‘put it in the fridge’ OP. You sound a bit obsessive Hmm
How on earth is that obsessive?

(unless you are taking the piss. i’ve been on the fizzy lagers so I can’t tell).

Arsebucket · 01/07/2021 22:11

@VerticalHorizon my fridge is a thing of i'll have you know. You could sling the Queen in it and she would approve.

Arsebucket · 01/07/2021 22:12

*thing of beauty

VerticalHorizon · 01/07/2021 22:14

[quote Arsebucket]@VerticalHorizon my fridge is a thing of i'll have you know. You could sling the Queen in it and she would approve.[/quote]
You're on!

Send for the Queen!

HelgaDownUnder · 01/07/2021 22:14

If people are coming to your home, chances are they'll be driving. It's inconsiderate to have nice wine for yourself and the non-drivers, but expect some guests to have tap water.
We normally have coke-no-sugar, sparkling water, Bickfords cordial and juice, but I wouldn't be offended if someone bought something else.

purplecorkheart · 01/07/2021 22:15

If you brought a large bottle say 1 litre or two and are happy to share if someone else asks for a glass no issue at all (in fact I would be grateful as I am not a huge fan of fizzy drinks so tend to have more juices and still water in the fridge). Smaller bottle could be awkward for the host if someone else asked for a glass.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 01/07/2021 22:15

@Crockof ummm I didn't say it was juvenile or weird. I'd quite happily take Diet Coke along with me. But I wouldn't give it as a gift, in the same way I wouldn't give a bar of Dairy Milk to my host as a thankyou.

Haudyourwheesht · 01/07/2021 22:17

What drink is is OP? The only drink I've encountered this with is Diet Coke, because Diet Coke drinkers seem to have a weird fixation with it.
If I had non drinkers coming for dinner I'd probably get an elderflower presse or similar, and maybe bottled water, as we don't have fizzy drinks in the house normally.
If I wasn't drinking I'd just have tap water as I don't really like sweet drinks with meals.

VerticalHorizon · 01/07/2021 22:18

Are we talking Coke, Diet Coke, Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Coke Zero or what?
These things matter, as not all of them will go well with the chips.

RaininSummer · 01/07/2021 22:19

Seems fine to me if a little odd. I don't buy fizzy drinks so unless I knew my guest only drank coke, for example, there wouldn't be any. Generally it wouldn't occur to me to offer fizzy drinks with dinner. Wine and fruit juice or alcohol free wine probably

Gladioli23 · 01/07/2021 22:19

I wouldn't be offended but I do find it a bit off (for a proper dinner party, doesn't bother me for a BBQ, stand up type party or a casual night s.g. takeaway). I think this is for various reasons:

  1. At my college the drink options for formal dining were water and wine, with water being sparkling or still. (For non formal dining the options were: water. So I am totally used to just drinking water with dinner, especially as I was tee-total for a good chunk of university.)
  1. Wine is provided by the host/ess to match the food, you don't get to bring along a particular wine if you e.g. prefer moscado rosé but the host is cooking fish and providing muscadet then you can't really ask for the moscado to be got out prior to pudding...
  1. There's (to me) nothing at all wrong with having iced water or iced fizzy water with dinner - I quite happily drink that 5/7 nights a week so seems a bit odd that you wouldn't. (And I was a very fussy eater for years and years so have been totally used to not necessarily getting what I would have chosen as my dinner - I view accepting that as part of being a good guest really).
  1. In my mind fizzy drinks like pepsi etc just Don't Go with food, and it feels (irrationally) like it's saying you dislike my food so much that you have to mask it with artificial flavours.

I would ignore my discomfort and offer you the drink (and I do always make sure I have something in that's not water or fizzy water, but for a nice dinner party it's generally something a bit posher). I have plenty of chilled out evenings in the garden, and people over for takeaway or etc, but if I've bothered doing a posh dinner party that's generally because I wanted it to be a "naice" evening so the same as I wouldn't provide frozen pizza to eat, I wouldn't expect people to be drinking fizzy drinks really. I wouldn't say anything though, I would just accept it.

HotChocolateLover · 01/07/2021 22:20

Some posters on here are really odd! There’s literally nothing offensive about bringing a drink you like, go for it I say.

CafetiereOrEspressino · 01/07/2021 22:20

" I wouldn’t mind one bit. But id judge, in the same way I judge omnivores who can’t have one dinner without meat, or people who drink alcohol who can’t go one dinner without booze. If you’re being hosted, it’s about the company rather than the food, so in my books it’s about being gracious to the host. Bringing your own food or drink is a bit “I couldn’t possibly enjoy myself at your house without this”, whatever the “this” is."

This... It is weird, and I'd judge. If you were close I'd also say something. Would you think its OK to bring chicken nuggets to someone's house only for yourself, because that's what you have to eat every dinner?

Gladioli23 · 01/07/2021 22:22

P.S - I might well provide tea and coffee after dinner but again if it was a proper dinner party I wouldn't expect to provide it With dinner.

Xmasbaby11 · 01/07/2021 22:23

I think it's fine. I keep a lot of soft drinks in but when i was pregnant and not drinking, the number of times I went to friends' houses for dinner, and they had nothing for me to drink except water, while they opened bottle after bottle of delicious wine! I do the same now if I'm driving - take a bottle of wine for the host and soft drink (which I may or may not drink myself).

bongbigboobingbongbing · 01/07/2021 22:27

I don't think it's rude but it is a bit weird. I find it a bit weird generally when adults drink fizzy pop with an evening meal. It's like having a bag of haribo next to your plate. Can't you just have water?

Jaxhog · 01/07/2021 22:27

It's an interesting question! As a diabetic, I can't drink wine or sweetened soft drinks, so often get stuck with lukewarm water. I now take a bottle of wine for my hosts and a bottle of cold fizzy water for myself. But it depends on the host.

ancientgran · 01/07/2021 22:30

You coul bring a five course banquet to my house if it's what you want. Even better if you brought enough for me as well Grin