I’ve decided I’d like an American man, please can you help me find one!

[Americam]

Yesterday I got talking to the lovliest man (at a clinic we were attending, not in a pub sadly) and I remembered how nice I’ve always found American men.

So I’ve decided I’d quite like one please, and I need you folks to help me find one. Any and all suggestions carefully considered :)

@IncorrigibleTitmouse I’m sad to say that I am very jealous. Very.

What should I wear on my upcoming trips to Bury, Newmarket, Lavenham, Texas, Lidl, Louisiana, Kentucky, St Paul’s etc?

Ps Donald may qualify as an American but I’m afraid he doesn’t count as a man so he’s off my list.

What’s the plan to move forward with op? Any local mumsnetters doing a recce of the pub for baseball cap logos so you can match and then walk into the bar?
Have you downloaded the game yet? If not, could your username be BloodyHell or something to alert them to your charming accent?

Right, OP, you'd better crack on with it then!

You could try hanging around Harrogate. I believe RAF Menwith Hill has some Americans.

I mean, I'm not sure WHERE in Harrogate you should hang around, but that's the closest town to the base.

@Americam

Why has Chuck the naval beuniformed doc retired at 50? Could it be that he’s not real?

No, lots of people retire early from the military in the US. The minimum term to retire and get a pension is 20 years so quite a few people retire after 20 years. But because often they are still in their 40s, most will do something else until they reach civilian retirement age, which is 62-67.

But I would want to know what he was doing post military retirement.

@Frownette I can’t do anything at the minute which requires me to show myself in person. I’ve had 2 wisdom teeth out this week and I look like I’ve been kicked in the face by a horse. A very big horse. Hard.

So I’m plotting and ruminating. I must say I have received some excellent advice, and @SenecaFallsRedux thank you for your insights re the military men!

Which game shall I download? Words with Friends? Or did someone mention a different one?

Ooh - I’ve had a brilliant idea for a username (if I do say so myself). What about “Oh I say”? Shades of Dan (god I’ve forgotten his surname! The Wimbledon commentator), thus invoking tennis/Wimbledon/British summers/cut glass accents (completely unlike mine) etc etc.

Maskell! I didn’t Google I promise!

Good call with the username! It needs to be a little flag identifying you as lovely English lady just waiting for a nice American man to say hello!

Right I’ve downloaded Words with Friends. Wish me luck everyone - I could be engaged this time tomorrow!

Only problem is I can’t work out how to use it! It’s very a very busy interface isn’t it?!

Aaah, fond memories of De Niros in Newmarket...

Many years ago when I worked at a telephone exchange in Oxford, I used to occasionally encounter American men needing assistance with their transatlantic calls. They ALL, without exception, used to comment on my English accent. One time when I had laryngitis, one in particular was going wild for it - he loved my husky voice!! 😆😆😆

How's it going OP, found one yet? 😁

@Horsemad

Aaah, fond memories of De Niros in Newmarket...

Many years ago when I worked at a telephone exchange in Oxford, I used to occasionally encounter American men needing assistance with their transatlantic calls. They ALL, without exception, used to comment on my English accent. One time when I had laryngitis, one in particular was going wild for it - he loved my husky voice!! 😆😆😆

How's it going OP, found one yet? 😁

No, sadly not @Horsemad. I lost patience with Words with Friends and have downloaded Boggle instead. I’m waiting nicely for the American men to contact me.

And in the meantime I’ve been listening to John McEnroe commentating on Wimbledon, and reliving my teenage crush on him. He’d be most acceptable but I think he’s married.

I’m watching Colombo - I’d be more than happy with him too.

@Americam

I’m watching Colombo - I’d be more than happy with him too.

Ok Mumsnetters we need to stage some sort of intervention. OP would be happy with Columbo? This will never do!

Rack your brains. Do you know a single American man? Cannot be Donald Trump. Otherwise, it’s time for action

What’s wrong with Colombo?😮 (Apart from the fact he’s not real).

But I’m more than happy for an mn intervention. Please hurry up, I’m bored!

Apart from not being real, the flasher mac is no good!

Can anyone help? There must be mumsnetters who know single Americans? Or do we need to call Channel 4 and ask them to make a tv show, like Location, Location, Location where you get advisors to track you down a suitable man. I can imagine Davina presenting “Yank or Wank”!

"Yank or Wank"!

🤣🤣🤣

You’re not having mine! He’s wonderful and he’s all mine!

@MegaCityOne

Apart from not being real, the flasher mac is no good!

Can anyone help? There must be mumsnetters who know single Americans? Or do we need to call Channel 4 and ask them to make a tv show, like Location, Location, Location where you get advisors to track you down a suitable man. I can imagine Davina presenting “Yank or Wank”!

You’re being very helpful @MegaCityOne, I’m most grateful. You can have a starring role in Yank or Wank. Maybe chief presenter or something.

If I can’t have yours @BritWifeInUSA, can you at least help me find one? It’s not much to ask being as you’re presumably surrounded by them.

Thank you @Americam We need to recruit researchers for the show. @BritWifeInUSA are you in?

Still need people to go do a recce in the pub. Maybe Estelle and Kayne can adapt American Boy for Yank or Wank’s theme tune.

I will need to have it written into my contract that there will, for my past at least, be no wanking on screen, only yanking.

@Americam

I will need to have it written into my contract that there will, for my past at least, be no wanking on screen, only yanking.

Very sensible.

I want a Scottish man but I'll be your wingman?