What's the most trivial thing you've been told you're doing "wrong"

[BruceAndNosh]

Apparently not using the entire individual hotel mini tub of marmalade to cover 2 slices of toast is "weird".
I like toast with a SMALL amount of marmalade - this makes me odd it seems

When I was about 10 we stayed in a hotel on the South coast. At breakfast I chose an apple from the fruit selection and bit into it only to be told off by an elderly lady at the next table for not eating it with my cutlery. Who the hell eats an apple with their knife and fork?

@Fuckingcrustybread

Watering thirsty drooping plants at lunchtime on a boiling hot day in midsummer - oh yes, lets wait another 6 hours by which time half of them will be dead. confused The cantankerous old git is right. Plants should never be watered when they're in full sun especially on a boiling hot day. The hot water will affect the roots. Water them before or after the sun is full on them.

I always understood the reason to be that the water particles can cause scorching damage to the foliage in full sun (think of an ant and a magnifying glass).

We could, however, all be doing it wrong. 😕

If my dp was to answer this he would say that I tell him he drinks wrong. He takes one massive mouthful and swallows it in 3 or more small gulps.

He thinks I am weird for talking on the phone to my family. He doesn't get it and thinks it's weird that I want to. He cannot underhand what we talk about and thinks it is excessive. I speak to my mum every 1 or two days.

Ah yes I walk wrong! Dp always comments that my feet fall in when barefoot. I know. My hypermobility has led to increasingly fallen arches. He tells me like it's something I am doing on purpose.

I also make sandwiches wrong as I use a chopping board and not a piece of kitchen roll. I don't know why I need to use a piece of kitchen roll

There are some interfering people out there ; telling others how to eat duck mince, write the number 4 or how to eat an apple.
I suppose some people just can't help themselves.

I eat wrongly. When I eat, I often eat all of one thing (like broccoli) then all of another. Apparently I am supposed to cut up all my food and put a bit of everything on my fork.

I mean, I’d see the point if I only ate one thing then left everything else. However I am good at eating my dinner, I just like the components to have turns.

@BackforGood my 5 year old DS does this - I feel like I am raising a savage 😂

Apparently I sneeze wrong - I am loud I admit and try to not do it. I go off by myself if I feel a sneeze coming

In the eyes of my toddlers (at the time): any cutting up of fruit/sandwiches/toast was usually WRONG and resulted in a face down tantrum on the kitchen floor!

@BackforGood

Not me, but I was shocked to see someone I know open a two finger kit kat and take a bite across both fingers, rather than snapping it into two separate fingers and eating one then the other.

Obviously, I had to clutch my pearls tightly.

I do that to kitkats. I take 4 finger ones and bite across the top. I only do it in front of people to rile them up

I sit wrongly apparently, because I curl my legs up, as my short legs find that more comfortable than trying to reach the floor.
I shut car doors wrong, too.

I hold my cutlery the wrong way round
I wear my watch on the wrong wrist
I smile too much
I eat too fast
I drink too slow

Mine is rather specific. I once volunteered at a local fundraising event that involved selling donated items. All items were labelled with a number (I think this identified where it had come) and at the end unsold items were sorted by number. I was asked to cards with numbers on round the (very small) room. The numbers would go all the way round in number order to make it easier for sorting. I started from the door and worked my way round- only to be asked to pick them all up and start again as they always start the numbers from a corner. I tried to explain it would make no difference but was told no, I'd have to do it again. I haven't volunteered again.

I work in charity retail....have been told off for daring to greet customers with a smile, apparently "it's not funny"

Also left handed and am told I do many things the wrong way round.

I worked as a nanny & the flippin’ Mum was always telling me to do silly little things differently, even grilling fishfingers & rinsing jumpers during hand washing! I was about 20 at the time & perfectly capable!
DH is terrible for “ trying to help” - I have christened him after that character in The Fast Show ( “ You don’t wanna do it like that, you wanna do it like this”)! Aaaaagh! I will concede he’s right about how to load the dishwasher though!

Leaving my pegs on the washing line overnight

By my neighbour

Paper-clipping sheets of paper incorrectly... years ago by a new boss. My way wasn't wrong (as all the sheets of paper were held securely) - just different to his method. 🌹

@MrsJackRackham

My dad used to say I shopped wrong. Rather than start at the front at the fruit and veg I go to the last aisle and work my way back. That way the fruit and veg don't get squished at the bottom of the trolley. Makes perfect sense to me. Wrong apparently

Omg. Why have I never thought of that. That's genius!

@BackforGood

Not me, but I was shocked to see someone I know open a two finger kit kat and take a bite across both fingers, rather than snapping it into two separate fingers and eating one then the other.

Obviously, I had to clutch my pearls tightly.

This is scandalous. It has never even occurred to me to do this

@ShinyGreenElephant

According to my ex I wasn't pushing our DD out correctly. I bit him and the midwives made no attempt to help him

Did he admit that he deserved biting?

ExH tried to remind me that I'd said in my birth plan that I didn't want pethidine. I told him succinctly that that was then and this was now.

@Dippydinosaurus

Using a stapler. Worked in a solicitor's office for a few months after I left school. Stapled sheets together but apparently it was wrong as they were stapled diagonally. The staple had to be parallel to the paper. I still think of it 25 years later every time I use one. I staple diagonally 😁

I had a boss who was fanatical about how things must be stapled, as close the top and the staple must be vertical and neat. She was so bad that if you gave her documents with the staple not in the correct fashion (according to her) she would remove it and remove-staple it! She was an aggressive micromanaging nightmare. I used to take great delight in being oblivious and haphazardly stapling things so she’d be compelled to ‘sort them’. She also once afire me and my colleague why there were no blank forms in the file. I didn’t actually know we kept blank copies, whenever me and other colleague needed one we’d just type it up on the blank document in the system and print. ‘That’s not right, Debbie and I always printed a bundle to use!’ Well Debbie left and that inefficient.

@CruCru

I eat wrongly. When I eat, I often eat all of one thing (like broccoli) then all of another. Apparently I am supposed to cut up all my food and put a bit of everything on my fork.

I mean, I’d see the point if I only ate one thing then left everything else. However I am good at eating my dinner, I just like the components to have turns.

Me too I will eat things in order of preference starting with my least favourite so I end by eating the best bit. I also take things apart which horrified an ex, for example a slice of cake, I will take the icing off and eat it last. I will chill Mars bars and roll the caramel away from the fluffy bit and eat it last, ‘can’t you not just eat a thing without taking it to bits first??’

According to an ex, putting the used crockery back on the tray in a cafe showed just what an “oik” I was. His word for anyone who went to a comprehensive school.

Ex H:
Not letting the car warm up enough before I drove it. It was a modern car and not cold weather. He text me on my journey to tell me.
Not using the washing machine properly.
Wanting the garden to look natural rather than straight lines and right angles.

Current DP:
Sneeze and swallow loudly.
Walk the dog wrong (too many biscuits, too slow as the dog wants to sniff every blade of grass. The dog is quite happy with his walks and DP does about 2 a week with me).
Driving too fast and daringly, or not fast and daringly enough.
Online grocery shopping (admittedly I did forget to update my basket and ended up with some very expensive gin that I'd used to hold the slot). I still told him he was welcome to demonstrate his superior skills.

I point out that commenting will be taken as a request to do the job himself. It works.

@ShinyGreenElephant

According to my ex I wasn't pushing our DD out correctly. I bit him and the midwives made no attempt to help him

Wow! What twat he was - I wonder how much practice HE'D had of pushing a baby out of his body. Glad you bit him - and good he's your Ex! 😯