Do you think people really like diversity?

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

I live in a diverse part of East London, which likes to congratulate itself on its diversity. And in fairness, everyone generally gets along quite nicely.

But as I listened to a posse of white middle class mums in their 30s with carefully curated trainers and vaguely creative jobs waxing enthusiastic about all the diversity, it struck me that most people here, given the choice, spend their time with people exactly like themselves. It's not just the middle class bum sniffing either, the other communities are just the same. It's as if we enjoy pretending to embrace diversity, when we might as well just have stayed in the village we grew up in, except there were no jobs.

Maybe it's just the area I live in, which has been partially gentrified and is in a state of flux. Maybe people feel a bit insecure and flock together for reassurance?

Does anyone live in a place where people genuinely demonstrate enthusiasm for integrating their lives with those of people who are different from them?

No, I'm not convinced those places exist. Although I'd be interested to hear about them if they do.

I think ultimately what you're talking about is socioeconomic diversity, where people genuinely mix across different class groups. I would guess it is probably the hardest type to achieve.

I think I live in a similar area to you. There is a tendency here to see diversity as a sort of window dressing. People think they are open minded because they like trying out lots of different restaurants with cuisines from other countries.

Idk - I'm not originally from the town I live near, so that might have something to do with it, but most of my friends are either new to Scotland or 2nd generation British citizens, mostly also from other places originally.
We swap recipes from different cultures, share info about eg a nice clothes shop in Dhaka or whether Tim Horton doughnuts will be nice (new shop opening nearby soon).
I don't think I would like to only know people like me.
Also I think most people new to Scotland (in my experience) seem really happy to befriend Scottish people who've been here a while.

I hate the thought of people being isolated.

In fairness I wouldn't say anyone here is isolated - just that, given the choice, they form into parallel communities. Maybe in Scotland that isn't an option in many areas, due to numbers? (I'm probably demonstrating ignorance of Scotland there. Sorry Scottish friends!)

I get what you mean OP. I’m vaguely friendly through work with a number of Hackney-dwelling creative types (and a similar group in the trendier areas of Bristol), who are all extremely and vocally proud of the fact that they’ve sent their kids to the local ‘diverse’ state primary, rather than going private or gaming the system through church attendance etc.

But without exception they do so safe in the knowledge that these schools contain a critical mass of other middle class bohemian families like them, and that little Otis will be mostly hanging out with his mates Caspian, Zephyr and Atticus, rather than roughing it with the rest of the ‘diverse’ intake.

Slightly off point, but it is interesting to hear East London described as “diverse”. In my experience it is (or was 8 years ago) overwhelmingly populated by people of a similar culture and religion.

Which I guess proves your theory that people are attracted to others with a similar background and outlook.

I do.

Grew up in a small place and I distinctly remember seeing a non-white person for the first time when I was about 7- zero diversity. Also didn’t know any white non-nationals, any LGB people, any female executives, or anyone from a different socio-economic background.

I like hearing different views and finding out a bit more about the world outside of my own direct experiences.

People love the culture, the food etc but ultimately people unconsciously stick with their own. It’s certainly been my experience. The major difference in London is that people are more tolerant.

Well I'm talking about Walthamstow, which I would say is still genuinely diverse.

who are all extremely and vocally proud of the fact that they’ve sent their kids to the local ‘diverse’ state primary

Yes, it's the same deal. Lip service to the ideal while building a strong network of surprisingly non-diverse family friendships.

I remember a group of us turning up at a restaurant for a work meal out. "Oh" they said "You must be the group from the hospital!" We were a little bemused how they knew, until we realised we were the only mixed race group in there.

"The major difference in London is that people are more tolerant."

Tolerant of what? London vs where?

Although class can trump race. I had a very diverse ethnically team when I worked in the city - lawyers from so many countries but all lawyers with that level of education and sophisticated thinking. I had more in common with my Indian / Japanese / French Canadian work friends then I did with my school peers who were ethnically the same as me but were working class farmers.

I dont think the majority of those people were brought up in inner city areas, many urban areas have been gentrified. Yes birds of a feather do flock together. but I can buy a decent coffee in a different outlet every day- swings and roundabouts.

Yes, I love it for the reasons you state in the OP. What I hate is the ridiculous 'woke' culture taking over. Woke in its proper sense means being aware of where discrimination and injustice takes place. Aware, not actively seeking out the smallest little thing to take offence about. It's gone stratospheric and causing far too much division.

I just got back from staying in rural Dorset to a metropolis. I met lots of lovely very similar people in Dorset and relished coming back to my diverse ethincially and socially neighbours. I have to say my social group is predominantly white in part (about 70%) in the main because I am a bit of a lush and a lot of the people I am friendly with but don't socialise with are Muslim or Sikh women who tend not to drink much if at all. I do socialise a bit with them but not as much.

I guess it depends on the person. I like diversity, but I do genuinely mix with people from many different countries, cultures, languages and religions in my job. Quite a lot of them are friends as well as colleagues. I judge people on whether they are fun, kind and intelligent, and I look for stuff we have in common, as well as being interested in different views. I come from a family background where my DF worked all over the world and hauled us with him, and I'm interested in people.

I like knowing different languages/different ideas and different recipes for example.

I'm probably a bit dismissive of the type of people you describe in your OP. It feels a bit wank to me to pretend diversity is cool because you employ a Phillipino cleaner but you mix with other posh white people when you socialise.

People gravitate towards people similar to themselves.

I live in North East London. My next door neighbors are from elsewhere in the world, the women next door don't leave the house but I know they are ok because they do invite relatives and friends around on a regular basis (we share parking so that's how I notice!).

My "diverse" neighbours next door and many others along the road have never spoken to me. I offer the occasional hello but it's not really reciprocated.

I suppose it's a trait of human nature to prefer people who speak the same language and share your culture.

I agree OP

Apologise for no commas but just proving my point as Ive just got in from the pub!

I think true integration takes a long time, and the first step towards that is tolerance and understanding.

"Oh" they said "You must be the group from the hospital!"

Yeah, I work in a hospital too, and we are truly diverse. But then we are trapped together with all those shared grievances - we have no choice but to bond!

I dont think the majority of those people were brought up in inner city areas

Good point, almost nobody here is from here.

my social group is predominantly white in part (about 70%) in the main because I am a bit of a lush

I salute your honesty

My "diverse" neighbours next door and many others along the road have never spoken to me. I offer the occasional hello but it's not really reciprocated.

Yes, it definitely isn't limited to any one group.

I've said for a long time that people like to congratulate themselves on their "tolerance" and how they appreciate diversity. They'll come to London to visit or live and enjoy the diversity but they don't really want where they come from to change and they like being from somewhere that hasn't had so many outside influences.

@pinchoftums Why yes, in Dorset we’re all out of the same mould: all socially homogeneous “lovely” country folk . Every last one of us.