Do you think people really like diversity?

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

I live in a diverse part of East London, which likes to congratulate itself on its diversity. And in fairness, everyone generally gets along quite nicely.

But as I listened to a posse of white middle class mums in their 30s with carefully curated trainers and vaguely creative jobs waxing enthusiastic about all the diversity, it struck me that most people here, given the choice, spend their time with people exactly like themselves. It's not just the middle class bum sniffing either, the other communities are just the same. It's as if we enjoy pretending to embrace diversity, when we might as well just have stayed in the village we grew up in, except there were no jobs.

Maybe it's just the area I live in, which has been partially gentrified and is in a state of flux. Maybe people feel a bit insecure and flock together for reassurance?

Does anyone live in a place where people genuinely demonstrate enthusiasm for integrating their lives with those of people who are different from them?

Yes I agree with you. I live in an inner city with a high Asian population. I live on a long busy road where recently a huge amount of people have been doing home renovations, adding extensions etc. I noticed that every white person employed white builders etc and every Asian person employed brown builders. It made me feel depressed. Also, all my own friendship circle is white. Not through racism (I know a lot of Asian people through work and we get on fine) but my social activities of drinking and going to punk/rock gigs just don’t cross over with any of theirs.

I find this is crossover in terms of ethnicity, but far less in terms of class. And the crossover in terms of ethnicity are with people who are British.

I remember looking into the Harvard bias tests and if I remember correctly, pretty much every race is unconsciously bias towards its own to some degree.

Really interesting. If you Google them, you can take the tests yourself too.

Now I think about it, most of my Asian friends drink. Not to excess, but they certainly drink.

I like diversity, but honestly I’m also guilty of seeking out friends from a similar background. I think it’s partly due to low confidence as I constantly worry I won’t fit in with other groups

I will always be polite to everyone equally though, but I don’t put as much effort trying to befriend some people if that makes sense. In other words, I have acquaintances from other groups but don’t think it’s necessary to take the next step for friendship.

However, there have been a few cases where I wrongly misjudged someone who later befriends me - that’s always nice, and I really value being able to have made friends with someone from a very different background.

Agree that hospital life tends to mean you have an ethnically diverse friendship group.

Not really otherwise diverse though. My closest friends are nearly all other doctors. Despite coming from a working class background and being the first in my family to ever finish school, I don’t really know anyone else of that background now in my daily life.

but I don’t put as much effort trying to befriend some people if that makes sense.

Well you're probably right in terms of return on investment.

I love diversity, especially Ashley Banjo! What guns!!

I like hanging out with people who are similar to me with similar values. I'm not interested in other culture's traditions or religious festivals.

Although class can trump race.

Definitely sometimes in Walthamstow, where OP lives. It used to be a solidly working class area. When the now closed dog racing track was still going and in some of the older pubs, there was a real mix of people from different ethnic backgrounds.

Actually it's the same for a lot of London. Various different races rub along together in the social housing estates.

It's also possible the people OP's noticing - the middle class mums who stick together - might not be from London. Diversity is generally taken for granted for London born Londoners. I thought it was an exception rather than the rule but perhaps I'm wrong...A friend's brother moved to London and was openly nervous about the diversity (he ended up marrying someone from a different ethnic background).

Integration and enjoying diversity is not just a one way street, OP. It requires everyone to participate and be tolerant of others, not just white Brits. Just to note as well, you can be diverse, white and middle class too!

I used to live in Walthamstow and my impression was of a whole bunch of diverse people leading very separate lives, side by side. And that separation went both ways. It was profoundly depressing.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Now I think about it, most of my Asian friends drink. Not to excess, but they certainly drink.

Re alcohol. Not all Asians are Muslim. I have Christian and Hindu Asian friends. Some drink alcohol, some don't (the same as the white people I know).

I knew you were talking about walthamstow lol, and I know what you mean. Between the newcomers who can only see white people, and the old people who moved away then bemoan the fact it now looks "like a foreign country" there's the full range of racism there if you care to look

Just to note as well, you can be diverse, white and middle class too!

Yes definitely.

I agree with this. I live in South London and lots of people (white incomers from the Home Counties usually) claim to love diversity in theory but in reality will make dubious comments about the black population who have grown up there and stereotype them. There’s also a lack of awareness about the issues gentrification causes. I’m mixed race and grew up in a very white area with a lot of racism and diversity was what drew me to where I live now.

One thing I have noticed in recent years is that there are some people who for whatever reasons seem very keen to encourage division (race, class, age, region etc). Including through the tactic of pushing the idea that it's worse than it is.
(To add, not aimed at anyone on this thread. It's something I've observed generally).

I suppose divide and rule.

And that separation went both ways

I totally accept that. I don't find it that depressing (although disappointing), I just think it bears a bit more honest reflection by everyone.

I went to college in a very diverse city and it has always been praised for how the cultures and communities come together. I had friends of different ethnicities, sexual orientations, religions etc and it was very refreshing.

I'm now in my 30s, married with children and living in a middle class area away from the city and everyone I have any form of relationship with is white British. This isn't out of choice, there just aren't many people of colour in this area and none in the places I frequent.

Between the newcomers who can only see white people

Yes! They look around to size up who is around, and they literally don't see 75% of the people! Although they would overlook race if the accent and dungarees are correct.

There’s also a lack of awareness about the issues gentrification causes.

Which is not a race issue since it affects white working class Londoners as much as any other race.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Between the newcomers who can only see white people

Yes! They look around to size up who is around, and they literally don't see 75% of the people! Although they would overlook race if the accent and dungarees are correct.

How do you know what 'they' all see?

I crave diversity! I grew up in London but moved to a very one type fits all area.
I love where I live but it gets dull. I need a mix of cultures and religions.
Despite what the levellers say, there isn’t just one way of life.

How do you know what 'they' all see?

I see them seeing it . Seriously, it is not subtle. It is like a man walking into a room and blanking the women he considers unattractive in favour of the one he is attracted to. The others have no value for him.

I grew up in London and all the schools I went to were diverse. I liked it and had a diverse group of friends. Adults that didn't grow up with diversity gravitate towards their own more than those that did grow up with diversity ime. Even when living in diverse areas.

I went out with someone that was from a rural area and when we were in London he would constantly point out that he could hear other languages or point out different culture's dress. I never properly noticed until then that so many people walking past us were talking Polish or Somalian etc. But to him it really stood out and he didn't seem to like that he couldn't understand what passers by or other people in a restaurant were saying. He felt much more at ease when we were in his neck of the woods and he could strike up conversation confidently and easily with passers by.

I think language has a big part to play in fostering diversity. When people can communicate easily with those around them they feel better.