Do you think people really like diversity?

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

I live in a diverse part of East London, which likes to congratulate itself on its diversity. And in fairness, everyone generally gets along quite nicely.

But as I listened to a posse of white middle class mums in their 30s with carefully curated trainers and vaguely creative jobs waxing enthusiastic about all the diversity, it struck me that most people here, given the choice, spend their time with people exactly like themselves. It's not just the middle class bum sniffing either, the other communities are just the same. It's as if we enjoy pretending to embrace diversity, when we might as well just have stayed in the village we grew up in, except there were no jobs.

Maybe it's just the area I live in, which has been partially gentrified and is in a state of flux. Maybe people feel a bit insecure and flock together for reassurance?

Does anyone live in a place where people genuinely demonstrate enthusiasm for integrating their lives with those of people who are different from them?

I've found inverse snobbery one of the most prevalent and pernicious issues. (Not accusing you of that).

Yes to that. This is something that I've experienced on numerous occasions and it's really upsetting.

@PurpleBiro21I remember being a bit wary on a packed tube while pregnant a EDL looking guy kept staring at me. After maybe 2 stops he exploded - ‘I cannot believe you are all seated while a pregnant woman is standing’.

That's unconscious bias I guess! We've all done it I am sure. I remember watching an episode of Pointless where there were five photos of people who were spouses of Prime Ministers (not all British). I got four of them but I couldn't work out which female PM one of the guys was married to. I couldn't think of another female PM. As it turned out he was married to Xavier Bettel, the PM of Luxembourg. I had just assumed it was a woman.

Just makes you think doesn't it?

I live down the road from Walthamstow (Leyton), and I can see what the OP is saying as it’s similar here. My eldest is in year 4, and when he started at his school it was quite mixed between Asian and Muslim kids, a few white kids whose families had lived in the area for years and the ‘new wave’ who had mostly come over from Hackney. Most of them are white middle class, not all British though, there’s Irish, French, Italian and also a smattering of other nationalities. I think all the groups tend to ‘stick together’, there’s a posse of French mums who hang out, the Pakistani mums chat in groups and the Lucy and Yak creative types talk side returns. However, I think everyone is live and let live, polite and kind to each other, so maybe this is as good as it gets? Everyone is free to choose their ‘tribe’ I suppose.

Growing up in NI was very non-diverse (think the Troubles had a lot to do with that!) and the only non-white people we mixed with in school were generally from a Chinese background. Many were children of doctors, etc. and lived in nicer parts of south Belfast/North Down. In my public sector workplaces there before I moved to England there were very few non-white faces.

Thankfully things are better and more diverse in the Civil Service, but I'm nodding in agreement with what @awaketoosoon said. Fat, over 35 and with invisible disabilities here. Those and my accent mark me as very different from my team. If we ever win any awards my chops won't be in the LinkedIn posts for sure.

I genuinely love diversity. I have friends from Australia, France, Cameroon, China and India.
I have friends who are Sikh, Christian, atheist and Muslim.
I have black friends, Asian friends and white friends.
I genuinely love diversity and learn so much from my friends.

@knackeredcat the joke in my NI family would be, yes, but are they catholic Chinese or protestant Chinese?

The OP is right, but I think it’s almost always down to laziness and insecurity rather than hostility. To use the example of a white middle class woman walking into party and making a beeline for the group of other white middle class women- because she knows there won’t be any eye-rolling or comments when she mentions where she lives or what she does for a living. There won’t be an awkward silence when she says which restaurant she’s going to at the weekend and someone else saying they might get a McDonald’s. Nobody is going to shout OMG that’s such a white girl thing! And the same applies to every other demographic grouping. On the whole, people gravitate towards groups where there’s a stronger likelihood of shared circumstances and experiences because it’s easier. You’re less likely to be misunderstood.

100% OP but in my experience it’s based on class/income/culture/language/shared history/experiences rather than purely race related.

[quote Boood]@knackeredcat the joke in my NI family would be, yes, but are they catholic Chinese or protestant Chinese?

The OP is right, but I think it’s almost always down to laziness and insecurity rather than hostility. To use the example of a white middle class woman walking into party and making a beeline for the group of other white middle class women- because she knows there won’t be any eye-rolling or comments when she mentions where she lives or what she does for a living. There won’t be an awkward silence when she says which restaurant she’s going to at the weekend and someone else saying they might get a McDonald’s. Nobody is going to shout OMG that’s such a white girl thing! And the same applies to every other demographic grouping. On the whole, people gravitate towards groups where there’s a stronger likelihood of shared circumstances and experiences because it’s easier. You’re less likely to be misunderstood.[/quote]
@Boood, you're so right I think it was Harry Towb who frequently got "are you a Catholic Jew or a Protestant Jew?"