Threads you can tell the answer to before opening

[Lumene]

What are the common mumsnet threads with questions you can tell the answer to without having to open them, at least 99% of the time.

I’ll start:

Q: I’m in a new relationship, is this a red flag?
A: Yes.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

Q: very very specific issue A: tumbleweed

Haha that's usually any thread I start!! 😂

Q: How do I make friends on the school run?

A1: what the fuck is wrong with you?
A2: are you needy OP?
A3: don't you have your own friends already in fact, do you even work?
A4: COVID you selfish fucker
A5: just smile smile smile !

(Pre COVID)

Q - I’m having around 30 guests round on Sunday, what should I cook?

A - I’d leave some naice bread, ham and a tomato on the table for people to help themselves

Q: my husband didn’t do the washing up

A: what do you get out of this relationship now? What did you learn about relationships growing up?

@Palavah

Q: My boyfriend brought his violent ex and their drug dealer to dinner with my parents and SIL & BIL and they snorted lines off the kitchen table. What should I do?

A: Where are you that you're allowed eight people inside? Do you think Covid rules don't apply to you?

Really made me giggle!

Q- DH says he wants to go to bed early. He's clearly forgotten he promised to watch a film with me.

A1 - Have you ever heard of misogyny?
A2 - You have a dh problem.
A3 - Has he always been this abusive and controlling. LTB.
A4 - If this was a woman, double standards.

Q. I’ve found some round white tablets in my teen’s bedroom. They are in a box and say “Anadin”.
A. I’m sorry OP. It’s definitely ketamine.

Q: anything, warning: spoiler alert
A: aww, man! I haven't seen that episode yet!

@CeliaCanth

Q. I’ve found some round white tablets in my teen’s bedroom. They are in a box and say “Anadin”. A. I’m sorry OP. It’s definitely ketamine.

LOL

Q I want to go to X place. Any recommendations of what to do there?
A mooch

@WokeUpMyBaby

I think some posters don't realise this thread is about what your answer would be to a thread title or post, not what MN posters typically say.

Or maybe I've got it wrong, in which case, ignore my posts.

But this way is funnier

I agree, I've joined in. Having a swell of a time on this thread.🤣

Q: Aibu to think my MIL should have given me more food?

A: You have a dh problem

Noooo it’s not about your answer! It’s due to your spending far too much time on MN, we know what threads will say...

Q: I’m 6 weeks pregnant and just touched a slug, now I can’t sleep worrying that Ive given my baby slug born encephalitis...
A: you’re an anxious freak (paraphrasing)

Q: Do you wipe your bum with toilet paper?
A:

Q: AIBU to want to eat my wife's cervical mucus plug?

99.99999999%A: 🤢🤮
0.00000001% A: yum. did the same

MNHQ:

Q. I'm thinking of having a baby at 40.

A. You're nearly at the end of your life, don't be ridiculous, it'll be disabled and your body/brain can't take the strain of thinking and keeping a baby fed and safe, you're practically a great grandmother.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

Q: AIBU to want to eat my wife's cervical mucus plug?

99.99999999%A: 🤢🤮
0.00000001% A: yum. did the same

MNHQ:

What the fuck Sheeba, my eyeballs need bleaching too now😂

Q. We're thinking of going to Centre Parcs, what should we pack?

A. Lube.

@FTEngineerM

true story

Q. My husband was an abusive arsehole to me.

A. He's probably Autistic so it's your fault for causing a meltdown.

Q- My baby's constipated. What shall I do?

A - Poo troll.

Q. I'm having an affair with my neighbour
A. shakes head

Q: I've got £5 to last me and 2DC 3 weeks for food. Car has enough petrol for work so won't need transport

A: take in ironing, darn neighbours socks, grow your own fruit and veg, get a chicken that will feed 100 people for 10 years. Sell the car.

@Smokeahontas

Q - I’m thinking of moving to London. What areas would I get a 7 bed, 4 bathroom house with garden & good tube links, school catchments and sense of community in zone 1 for £150k?

Q2 - Bump

😂😂😂 a shed in northcote? Ha you'd be lucky

🤣🤣