Threads you can tell the answer to before opening

[Lumene]

What are the common mumsnet threads with questions you can tell the answer to without having to open them, at least 99% of the time.

I’ll start:

Q: I’m in a new relationship, is this a red flag?
A: Yes.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

Q: where is poster xyx?

A1: I miss them too
A2: reported
A3: I also wondered. and what happened to....?
A4: reportrd
A5: thread zapped

I did this yesterday - I was hoping for "they messaged me privately and they are fine" not "they are now known as" but the thread was taken down.

Q: at what age of your kid/s do you stop /plan to stop being naked in front of them?

A1: whenever we feel uncomfortable
A2: whenever they feel uncomfortable
A3: never, DH is 52 and thinks nothing about seeing his parents naked and vica versa
A4: akchualllly in some cultures..
A5: just enjoy your kids, they grow up so fast
A6: we are nudists. my teenagers' friends were shocked at first but got used to ut
A7: you are all disgusting pedophiles! I would never!!!
I gave birth via ELSC in a scaphander so baby wouldn't be irreversibly traumatised from contact with my foofoo hooha lady garden nuni bajingo sperm chute modesty v-word girlhood chastity zone cave of wonder!!!

Q. Aibu to hate adults in Disney clothing.
A. Yes
A. No, I dress head to toe in Disney and have disney homewear too.
In fact I live in Cinderella's castle.
A. Yes.

Is this portion of food too big?

Yes, I eat half that every 8 years.

@drspouse

I think I was on it and mentioned how I miss another poster🤣
that's why it was fresh in my memory

Q: AIBU to use non waterproof phone in hot tub?

A1: yes
A2: yes, YABU for having a filthy sex pond
A3: I love mine
A4: chavs
A5: where's OP?
A6: dropped phone in hot tub

Q what age do I look?

A1 23
A2 55
A3 mid seventies?

Q: banter

Zing: can't stop posting

OP: Any thread that asks opinions about trends, interiors, buying habits
A 1-5: General discussion about trends and impressions
A6: How awful. If ever a thread proves mumsnet is obsessed with class, this it it.
A12-22: zero engagement with the thread, simply there to bang on about how they 'don't understand' class, that any observation that might mildly link to different social groups is obviously the highest form of snobbery, and that they think the snobby vipers are out.

Op: I am so embarrassed, my period started in a job interview and everyone on the panel saw I had bled on my skirt. I can never live this down, even if I am offered the job I will be too embarrassed to ever face them again. Please post your embarrassing interview stories to cheer me up.

A: You should get a moon cup (the answer to any period problem according to mn)

Q. My husband wants to meet a female friend for coffee.

A. LTB
A2. He is allowed female friends OP
A3. Oh look, here comes the "cool wife" brigade
A4. He's definitely sleeping with her.

Q- How much TV does your DC watch ?

(MN) A- Clasps pearls, only 10 minutes once a fortnight and it's a wildlife documentary.

SpnBaby1967
The "cool wives" comments

Posters: Actually I think it's intrusive to be regularly searching a partner's phone, regardless of the sexes
Replies: ooh look at all the cool wives / ignore the cool wives of course you should be able to check his phone or social media on demand. It's part of an open and trusting relationship. (Tilty head)

Posters: nobody should be coerced or pressed into any sexual act, but if a woman enjoys something and freely consents to A or B or C then what's the problem?
Replies 1-4: eugh look at the cool wives, no woman actually enjoys A,B,C.
Reply 5: who even has time for sex? We've barely had sex since DC was born 5 years ago and he's lucky if we do anything other than missionary with the lights off every 6 months.

@Blessex

Q: How old do you think I look? A: deleted thread

🤣

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

Q: banter

Zing: can't stop posting

😂😂😂

Q - I’ve just found out exH let DS (23) watch Grease last week. AIBU to be upset?

A1 - Have you spoken to CAMHS?
A2 - Have you challenged DS on why he would want to view this material?
A3 - Speak to a solicitor
A4 - Yes, YABU

OP @ A4 - Did you mean to be so rude?

Q - I have a house I let out because . my tenants texted me at 3.42am to say the washing machine is broken and they want a replacement by 10am and it has to be Miele, or they will withhold rent. I’ve said I can get them a brand new Hotpoint by 4pm but that’s not good enough. Who is BU?

A1 - People like you make me sick, you sound like you’d let them live in squalor.
A2 - Sell the house OP. You’re not cut out to be a landlord.
A3 - YABU but because of the carbon footprint of washing machines. I collect water in a water butt and wash by hand.

@Smokeahontas

Q - I have a house I let out because . my tenants texted me at 3.42am to say the washing machine is broken and they want a replacement by 10am and it has to be Miele, or they will withhold rent. I’ve said I can get them a brand new Hotpoint by 4pm but that’s not good enough. Who is BU?

A1 - People like you make me sick, you sound like you’d let them live in squalor.
A2 - Sell the house OP. You’re not cut out to be a landlord.
A3 - YABU but because of the carbon footprint of washing machines. I collect water in a water butt and wash by hand.

A4: people like you are the reason there a housing crisis, my uncles, friends, aunties, dogs goldfish has to live in a one room apartment with her 12 kids because they can't get on the housing ladder due to people like you buying up all the properties for buy to lets

Q: Did you see the Queen on the news report meeting X Dignitary from Controversial Country with suspect human rights laws? I wonder what they talked about.

A1: Down with the Monarchy.
A2: Up with the Monarchy.
A3: Mentions Prince Andrew.
A4: I liked the colour of her hat.

@CandyLeBonBon
🤣

@NatashaAlianovaRomanova yesssssss!!!

@SnugglySnerd

Op: I am so embarrassed, my period started in a job interview and everyone on the panel saw I had bled on my skirt. I can never live this down, even if I am offered the job I will be too embarrassed to ever face them again. Please post your embarrassing interview stories to cheer me up.

A: You should get a moon cup (the answer to any period problem according to mn)

They apparently have no downsides. Or upside-down, according to MN.

Oh, how little they know.

Q: AIBU to want more kids?

A1: no
A2: yes
A3: drivel about environment and population
A4: get a puppy

Anything MIL related ...go no contact.

Anything DM related - you only have one mum, work together to communicate.

Anything DIL related ...go no contact.

Anything DD related - work together to communicate.

Q. My SIL didn’t invite me to her wedding, spread false rumours that I cheated on DH and set fire to my car. WIBU to go NC?

A. You really don’t like her, do you OP? I bet she’s picked up on that. You both sound as bad as each other TBH.