Threads you can tell the answer to before opening

[Lumene]

What are the common mumsnet threads with questions you can tell the answer to without having to open them, at least 99% of the time.

I’ll start:

Q: I’m in a new relationship, is this a red flag?
A: Yes.

Q: Friend borrowed £10 and now refuses to pay it back

A: Did you get it in writing, even a text? You need to draft a letter saying "Regarding the heretofore financial loan which I hereby legally request is reimbursed forthwith and in the immediate event with risk of judiciary proceedings for this anticipatory breach with the Financial Ombudsman in triplicate and gavel order your honour objection".

Q: What should I name my baby boy?
A: Christopher nn Kit

Q: The person, not sure of her name, who works in the same office as me on one day a week who I occasionally nod 'hello' to in the kitchen has only invited me to the evening part of her wedding.

A1: She's clearly jealous of you
A2: Arrange a meeting with HR

Q: Does anyone ever regret having children?

A: It's a taboo subject that no-one talks about yet this question appears approximately monthly and everyone seems to know that lots of people do have regrets

Q - my DH wants 5 minutes to himself, AIBU?

A - he's got a raging porn/gambling addiction /is having multiple affairs, LTB

Q; How much do you earn?
A: 100-300k but spend most of the day on MN but with higher pay comes greater flexibility and less clock watching

Q: looking for baby names that aren't overused.

A1: Ikea, Nixon, Velvet Submarine, Omelette, Prysm, Gunpowder, Motor Oil, Stuul Sample, Jimothy, Lego, Vivid, Plato Chips, Wolverine, Veranda, Glitter, Bucket

A2: Sophie's nice

Q: What do you think of that article proving that Pom Bears cause Covid

A1: Clearly it's all a Big Pom Bear conspiracy, I always suspected but this proves it
A2: What article? Can you post a link?
A3: wow, sounds terrible, I for one won't be buying Pom Bears ever again
A4: You shouldn't be buying Pom Bears anyway, they're processed junk
A5: not seen this but I'll definitely be changing my behaviour because of what a MNer thinks someone said
A2: Could you post a link to what you're on about OP so we can read for ourselves?
A6: Covid is made up, I'm going to eat more Pom Bears than I ever did before and buy them for all my friends
A7: Pom Bears can't cause covid, don't be stupid. It's not wearing a mask when you're alone at home watching tv that gives you Covid.

A2: I've found the article the OP is talking about, it actually says Covid causes Pom Bear cravings.

All other posters: I don't care, there's no smoke without fire, it's definitely Pom Bears what give you covid, BAN THEM!

@HooverPhobic
I totally forgot about !!!

Q looking for girls names but not ending in ia or e
A What about Georgia or Claire?

Q How old do you think I look?
A. 83
A. stealth boast?

Q. Looking at this writing ( perfectly formed copperplate passage of Chaucer) how old do you think DD is?
A. 4
A.

Q: my wife + breastfeeding

A: how very dare you?! her body, her choice

🤣🤣

Q: tell me your birth stories

A: truly the most hilarious stories ever.
MN: ROFL
MNHQ: moves it to Classics

Baby Names: Banana Flumps

No

Emily
Yes

@CandyLeBonBon

Q: Man here MN: oh do fuck off dear

🤣🤣🤣

Q: AIBU
A: You sound entitled
B: You sound controlling

@HooverPhobic

I dont know how anyone can eat a whole Pombear, let alone a packet of them. 🤣

Q: Harry & Meghan

A1: good for them
A2: hate them
A3: mentions Queen
A4: mentions Andrew
A5: mentions Daily Fail
A6: mentions Diana
A7 : message deleted
A8: when is this gonna end?
A9: message deleted
A10: absolutely spot on
A11: message deleted
A12: mentions Charlotte
A13: quotes & tags A8 and adds "^^THIS!"

Q - Only for those who regularly do ...

A1 - Done it once so not regularly

A2 - I do it once or twice a year so not regularly but I can speak as someone who does it regularly because it's a public forum.

A3 - Never did it so why am I here then? but my friend has and I'll give you my opinion whether you want it or not.

A4 -

Q: where is poster xyx?

A1: I miss them too
A2: reported
A3: I also wondered. and what happened to....?
A4: reportrd
A5: thread zapped

Q - I've been given £1000 and would like to buy myself a beautiful handbag, a classic design that I can keep forever, then hand down to my DD. I have no debt, or anything essential I need to buy at this time. I have always wanted a tasteful designer handbag. Any ideas?

A1 - £1000 on a handbag? That's disgusting. I use a bag for life or my bare hands.
A2 - You should buy a bag for £100 and give the other £900 to charity.
A2 - You won't get a decent bag for £1000; I never invest less than £5000.
A4 - Designer handbags are all made in foreign sweatshops, I carry my possessions around in a hemp bag, hand woven by Nepalese peasants, which I bought when I was out there doing charity work.
A5 - I can think of a hundred things I'd rather spend £1000 on than a handbag.
Etc etc etc for 15 pages.

OP - My husband has a secret savings account.
A - He's financially abusive! LTB!

OP - So we share all finances...
A - Every woman should have a secret savings account in case she needs to leave.

OP - My 7 year old DS is having problems at school. I take him and do pick up as my job is really flexible and my DH has a bit of a commute, but he does 50% of the housework and spends every evening doing homework and playing with DS.
A1 - How old is the child?
A2 - Do you work OP?
A3 - Is his father around?

@Palavah

This whole thread is so funny. Loving the responses.

Q- My colleague said something racist. Shall I report?
A - Cancel culture!
A - Why would you want him to lose his job?
A - FFS. Woke!
A - It's not racist. Stop making a mountain out of a mole hill/everything about race.

Another thread

Q - My colleague said something that could be sexist or not. Shall I report?
A - HR! NOW! Sexism. Misogyny!
A - Reporting is being nice. He needs to be shot at dawn!
A - How very dare he? And you're a handmaiden if you think this isn't a hugely serious issue for all women! I'd get him sacked sharpish!
A - If his life is ruined, you didn't cause it. No one else is responsible for it but him! He deserves anything he gets!

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

Q: Harry & Meghan

A1: good for them
A2: hate them
A3: mentions Queen
A4: mentions Andrew
A5: mentions Daily Fail
A6: mentions Diana
A7 : message deleted
A8: when is this gonna end?
A9: message deleted
A10: absolutely spot on
A11: message deleted
A12: mentions Charlotte
A13: quotes & tags A8 and adds "^^THIS!"

Haha

Q - I listen to all sort of music. Am I -

A - Stop it! You deserve absolutely no respect for your WRONG taste in music!

A - How very low class!

A - EVERYONE knows CLASSICAL MUSIC is the only type you should be listening to, well unless you're low class then join your ilk somewhere.

A - I'm with you OP. I like x type of music but I want to increase my cultural awareness so I've shut my taste down to fit in with the classical music- tolerating loving bunch.