To ask your best clean(ish) joke?

[UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa]

I can never think of a good one when put on the spot, so I always use:

Q: How do you catch a polar bear?
A: You cut a hole in the ice and line the hole with peas. When he comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

(I said it was my best. That doesn't mean it is funny. Hope to hear some better ones.)

Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

@CommanderBurnham

Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
Pokémon

Ok I’ll get my coat..

I like eye jokes the best - the cornea the better

What's red and green and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "does this taste funny to you?"

What do you call an underground train full of professors?

A tube of Smarties

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with breast implants?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

What kind of bees make milk?

Boobies!

It's from shooting Stars years ago, it's my go to joke when put on the spot.

I feel like we could make our own. Something like:

-How many Mumsnetters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Are the lightbulb organic? I only give my DCs organic light bulbs.

You can't go wrong with a good cheese based one;

How do you hide a small horse?
Marscapone

How do you eat cheese in wales?
Caerphilly

What do the cheese say to the mirror?
Halloumi

How do you get Yogi to hurry up?
Shout Camembert

Here's one I heard earlier today.....
2 jellyfish in the sea, one says to the other 'I bet I can make that human pee on his friend'

Mountain ranges aren't just funny, they're hill areas

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador

Why did the elephants get thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they kept dropping their trunks

I told that once in a job interview and got the job

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis

@UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa

I feel like we could make our own. Something like:

-How many Mumsnetters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Are the lightbulb organic? I only give my DCs organic light bulbs.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick

What's the best way to serve turkey?
Join the Turkish army

Why did the baker have brown hands?
Because he kneaded a poo

What do you call a dinosaur wearing glasses?

A do-you-think-he-saurus

What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

@takealettermsjones

Mountain ranges aren't just funny, they're hill areas

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador

I'm adding 'labracadabrador' to my repertoire. Thanks!

@FrangipaniBlue

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

What do you call a dear with no eyes, no legs and no ears?

Anything you want, he can't hear you!