Derek was a chap who loved tractors. He had tractor jumpers, tractor wallpaper, a tractor duvet cover, a tractor lampshade, a massive collection of tractor dinky toys - you name it, he had it.
But what he didn’t have was a girlfriend.
One day, he was complaining about how lonely he was to his best friend. Unable to take it any note, his friend said, ‘Derek, mate, you have to lose the the tractors. No wonder you can’t get a girlfriend. What woman wants to hop into bed under a tractor duvet cover? I guarantee, you’ll meet somebody if you ditch the tractors.’
Derek thought about it, and decided his mate was right. With a heavy heart, he got rid of all his tractor stuff, bought some new jumpers, and decided to try online dating. He was matched up with a nice woman straight away, and they met for a date in a pub. Derek wore one of his new jumpers and felt pretty good.
Well, the date was going brilliantly. They had a meal and the food was lovely. They got on really well, were chatting and laughing, and there was even a bit of heavy flirting going on. Derek was just about to suggest going back to his, when suddenly an alarm went off, and the pub started to fill with thick, black smoke. People were screaming and running around, it was chaos.
Suddenly, Derek stood up. He took a massive, deep breath, and sucked all the smoke from the room into his lungs. When the room was clear, he ran to the window, stuck his head out of the door and blew it away into the air.
Derek had saved the day. With shining eyes, his date said, ‘That was amazing, Derek! How did you do that?’
‘Easy,’ said Derek. ‘I’m an ex-tractor fan.’