Scary thread - I've scared myself stupid

[nancybotwinbloom]

I'm on my own tonight. DH away. DD with her nan.

I've read some scary threads On here and ended up on a google tangent about black eyed children.

I will be honest, I am shitting myself now thinking that because I am thinking about them they will come.

I'm 41 ffs. Can I have some funny stuff to take my mind away from this please.

This is not like me. I'm usually not like this.

I realise I am being ridiculous but now that it's getting dark it's actually playing on my mind.

Please don't google black eyed children if you are a dickhead like I am when supposed to be enjoying a night on my own

Yeah, I did that once. The most I get is mildly unsettled but when i was younger I had a hard time getting the images of scary things out of my mind.

Ohh I've done exactly the same before now

I don't know about funny but I made the mistake of making d's 10 a little office of his own under the stairs , d's 18 has a very small cupboard one as he is wfh

Now ds3 wants one, I do not have a big house but now all my storage spaces are tiny offices!

Ds8 even! He's not 3

These tiny offices sound good. Can we see a pic of them?

I'm definitely not googling, I get very jumpy at scary films (the child that watched jurassic Park from behind the sofa) .
My Dt y7s were very excited that they can now go into a science lab and have a locker dt2 is not very tidy and life revolves around food I told her that if she doesn't keep it clean she'll not get a clean locker award, she laughed, dt1 (the opposite) got very excited at the prospect of getting an award without even trying (we all had a good laugh when I explained there was no such award)!

I know I'm being stupid.

I should be enjoying this time on my own!

I'll tell a silly story if you like.
A couple of years ago my DD almost choked on a cocktail sausage. Because I was "being a snail". Literally.
Trying to make her laugh because she'd had a bad day in school, she was taking the mick eating the last remnants of her dinner (a picnic tea that she'd requested) and silly me thought I'd lighten the mood by lying on the floor with a bean bag on my back, two spindly twig things held to my head as antennae. She walked in, I shouted "MEOW!" (a la Gary from Spongebob).
She bent double laughing and almost choked. She was fine but it's a story I'm sure I'll tell to my grandkids one day

To get me back once she shoved two breadsticks up her nose "being a walrus". The nosebleed that followed was spectacular.

Oh thanks OP 😰

There is a nice thread this evening about best jokes - this one tickled me ...

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "does this taste funny to you?"

Reading is always a good distraction- and usually helps me drift off to sleep

Xxxx

I’ve just spent a happy hour looking at David Austin roses and making a wish list of varieties to purchase later in the year.

Do you like roses?

Also I’ve got a mad craving for baked Camembert studded with garlic and thyme, drizzled with honey, sprinkled with walnuts, and had with crusty sourdough bread. I really, really want some!

@sandyandkirsten sorry. Did you google??

@Ninkanink that sounds amazing. I am on keto at the min so I can deffo have the cheese!

Well, if you've got some time spare you can write my personal statement for a job application? That should bore the fear out of you.

Can you watch something bland on YouTube to reset your mind? Someone opening pokemon cards, funny cats compilation?

I live near a place famed for the black eyed children, sorry

I'll make amends by telling you a funny story though. I went to an aquacise class with my mom and popped to the loo in our costumes before getting into the pool. We came out of our cubicles and I saw my mom at the sinks, washing her hands. I went over and gave her the biggest slap on the arse. Only trouble was it wasn't my mom We couldn't stop laughing during the class, but the woman was not impressed in the slightest

@HelpMeh I will give it A go!

I need to be on a light hearted thread, just had some awful news, going to hijack this one if it's OK op?
How about controversial opinions? I'll start.
Proper coffee snobs are just putting it on. It's thick and gloopy and not a patch on instant.

I want to Google it but I'm gonna have to wait until daylight. I have imaginings but I don't need them confirmed

@StealthPolarBear go for it! I hope you are ok.

[quote nancybotwinbloom]@Ninkanink that sounds amazing. I am on keto at the min so I can deffo have the cheese![/quote]
I’ve routinely low carbed for years and years now (for health reasons). I do take extended holidays, though. Might be in the middle of one just now. 😉

The cheese would just as good had with olives, nuts, crudités and a glass of wine!

@Boobahs
But they are not real are they. They are not. Please confirm this. And also you are Miles away from the north west

Same for proper chocolate, or any chocolate infused with chilli, sea salt, popping candy etc.
A bar of milk chocolate (pref large). Anything else just sullies it.

Love the snail story @getyourfreakon

Well. I quite like any chocolate so long as it's not got alcohol in or raisins.

Boobahs must live near me! It's just an urban myrrh, I and hundreds of other people walk in the woods where these kids were allegedly seen every day and I can confirm they are not there.
We did however have a local Jawa a few weeks ago, he was real and made the news