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Original poster

How long into the relationship did your parents meet your partner’s parents?

94 replies

fairynick · 07/06/2021 21:03

Just that really!

DP and I have been seeing each other just over 5 years and our parents haven’t met each other yet.
A friend was flabbergasted the other day when it somehow came up in conversation.
I’d never really thought of it before. We hadn’t kept them apart on purpose, just that they live in different areas and neither me nor DP has had a big party or anything to get everyone together.
I guess if we got engaged they could meet at the engagement party?

OP posts:
RockPainting · 07/06/2021 22:06

I grew up living near one set of GPs and distant from the other. When distant GPs visited, they’d always see my other GPs at some point.

My ILs live overseas but my parents meet them about a year into our relationship and have on various holidays and visits both ways since. My DM is devastated that my MIL doesn’t want to be besties with her. They all get on though.

Among all of our friends I can’t think of any where various family members from opposite sides don’t bump into each other at parties and gatherings quite often.

RampantIvy · 07/06/2021 22:08

At our wedding. They lived 300 miles apart, so wouldn't have met at any other time. They only met the once.

480Widdio · 07/06/2021 22:12

On our wedding day,the only time they ever met in the 30years we were together.

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Dating General relationships
ethelredonagoodday · 07/06/2021 22:14

Once we'd got engaged, and we'd been together 7 years by that point and had two houses together!

Halliabaloo · 07/06/2021 22:16

Engagement party, wedding, kids baptisms. If they had been around for 18th and 21st birthdays and 25th wedding anniversary do I expect they would have met at those, too.

36degrees · 07/06/2021 22:16

On our wedding day, never again - MIL made a racist comment about my DM (and by extension, me) to my DDad but they live in different countries anyway so unlikely.

Wombats12 · 07/06/2021 22:17

Wedding Day, after 5 years. Met a couple of times since in 20 years. Mostly because of geography but also nothing in common.

Wanttocry · 07/06/2021 22:18

Wedding day.

Sn0tnose · 07/06/2021 22:19

Mine have never met. We got married in Wales and for various reasons which couldn’t be helped, my mum didn’t come. They’ve met my brother & sil pre wedding, but I don’t think they met anyone else on my side at the wedding (it was huge, no top table and I lost track). I can’t envisage a situation where they will ever meet.

Didiusfalco · 07/06/2021 22:22

Oh gosh. I thought we were normal, but it seems unusual having read this. Parents and in-laws meet up without us. Dads go to the football together (or did). Mums chat regularly and go to each other’s houses. My parents get invited to in-laws weddings and funerals and vice versa and our grans even lived in the same nursing home together for a while. It’s been lovely for us and our kids.

blahblahblah321 · 07/06/2021 22:22

I can't remember exactly, we went for a meal at the hotel we'd booked for our wedding so I'm wondering if that was the first time (about 18 months into our relationship)

My in laws were a fair bit older than my parents (and old for their age too), they lived a fair distance away too, so travelling wasn't something they would have done happily and my parents were both still full time workers

MeadowHay · 07/06/2021 22:23

Never have. Both my DPs have spoken to MIL on the phone a couple of times and DF has spoken to FIL and StepMIL once on the phone. But that's it, as we got engaged and married quite early and quite young and my PILs all got in a tizz about it and all effectively disowned DH because of it, they didn't come to our engagement party or wedding and none of them have ever met DD.

Bubbles1st · 07/06/2021 22:28

About 18 months... they live in different countries and my parents have now been 3 times on holiday with us to visit my DPs parents and they have been here twice. Everyone loves each other and it's great to share time together.

Timeisavirtue · 07/06/2021 22:29

DP mum died 6 years after we met, she was hard work, an alcoholic and so DP refused to let her meet my family despite my grandparents being alcoholics because she wasn’t very nice either. DP father finally met my family 6 months after. He’s such a lovely man, he does anything for anyone, it’s a miracle they stayed together so long. Chalk and cheese I suppose. I have a very good relationship with his father and he has a close relationship with our dc.

AnnaSW1 · 07/06/2021 22:33

Never and I don't ever want or expect them to

AnnaSW1 · 07/06/2021 22:34

I should say we have been together for years and have children together

JaninaDuszejko · 07/06/2021 22:39

We have both extremes in my family.

DH and I have been together 25 years. Our parents met 4 years into our relationship when we graduated from our PhDs. They met again a year later when we married. My Mum has met my PILs twice since then, when DD1 was born and at PILs 50th wedding anniversary party. They live a flight away from each other and we live somewhere else so never meet up all together. They send Christmas cards though.

DBro and SIL have been together about 20 years. My parents and SIL parents were friends before DBro and SIL got together and I always tease them that it was an arranged marriage because the parents were all so delighted when they got together. They live within a few miles of each other and all meet up regularly.

WeAllHaveWings · 07/06/2021 22:41

They never met. Chalk and cheese, would never have got on. We eloped so there wasn't a wedding to meet at, we never christened ds, pil lived other end of the country and over 25ish years they just never bumped into each other.

cupsofcoffee · 07/06/2021 22:46

On our wedding day - three years in.

Sidneysussex · 07/06/2021 22:50

Over 20 years. 3 times!
When we bought first flat
Wedding day
birth of first child.

Changechangychange · 07/06/2021 22:54

Ours met once, on our wedding day (ten years after we met). Have not met since ;11 years).

If they don’t live nearby, there is no reason they would meet is there? Who would want to drive two hours to hang out with their daughter’s boyfriend’s parents if they don’t already know them?

CherryAndAlmond · 07/06/2021 22:54

They met at DH's funeral. We'd been married ten years, together for fourteen, with three kids, and managed to avoid them meeting for all that time.

ForTheLoveOfSleep · 07/06/2021 22:57

Me and DH have been together 14 years, married for 3 and have 3 children. Our parents have never met 😂

Caramel81 · 07/06/2021 23:00

Never and we have been married 5 years. We don’t think they would get along so have kept them apart and they lives hundreds of miles away from each other anyway

1678bfj7 · 07/06/2021 23:00

Probably the day before our wedding, possibly they met once before that but would still have been after engagement. We'd been together 6 years by then.

They do live in two different countries, which doesn't help. Think they've met maybe three times since, usually around new baby, although we did all once spend a week together.

They get on ok, send each other cards at xmas, but have little in common, and language can be a difficulty of course.