What makes a man crap in bed?

[biggirlknickers]

A question inspired by a post on another thread, along the lines of: ‘a man with no sense of rhythm and poor coordination is guaranteed to be crap in bed’.

So what do we mean by ‘crap in bed’? (other than selfishness, which presumably isn’t linked to lack of rhythm.)

Trying to rush everything

I'd say no connection, like they're just doing sex to you.

Poor personal hygiene. Lazy. Selfish.

Lack of experience, lack of respect, lack of care, lack of generosity.

Doing stuff to you that they enjoy doing, rather than doing stuff to you that you enjoy.

Pushing your boundaries.

Too rough, or too hesitant.

Having a sex 'routine'

Thinking back to one bloke I unfortunately had a thing with, he sulked when I said no. He wasn't interested in foreplay of any description unless it was to him. He only knew one position and because his cock was tiny (literally the size of my little finger) I couldn't feel it (and I was/am no bucket). He came far too quickly (though that meant it was over & done with quickly). He kept going on about how many women he'd been with but wasn't happy when in the end I said they were all one night stands so he shouldn't use that as a badge of honour because if he was any good they'd be wanting to go back for more. I was with him for a couple of months - God knows what I was thinking!

Small penis

“So what do we mean by ‘crap in bed’? (other than selfishness, which presumably isn’t linked to lack of rhythm.)”

It’s always selfishness though... because they could learn how to be good in bed, if they tried.

It can also be a physical thing: his penis is too small/big, too thin/thick, or not the right shape for you.

Food poisoning.

Someone lazy, selfish, entitled.

Someone who is good in bed is communicative, interested in what you want, takes the lead on trying new things, respectful, willing to please their partner and open minded. Anyone can do that regardless of penis size so saying a small penis = crap in bed is stupid imo

Poor personal hygiene. Not caring if you have an orgasm. Going at it like a jack hammer. Not being intuitive with what is and isn't working.

I too came on to say a really nasty bout of campylobacter!

Many/most of the replies I'd understand and agree with. Basically if you wanted, but did not enjoy, the sex there are probably valid questions to be asked about the man in question. Of course, there can be mitigating factors for any given time, but if it's repeated a few times then ...

I could imagine the question could be asked in reverse too. What makes a woman crap in bed? I'd actually be interested see such replies too!

It’s always selfishness though... because they could learn how to be good in bed, if they tried.

I disagree with this. I think it's personal preferences. You may find someone great in bed, but I may think they are crap because we like different things and have a different connection with the person. Some other things (like bad hygiene) are more universal, but I'm happy to have sex with DH when he hasn't washed as I like morning sex and I like camping.

A friend and I have very different ideas of what good sex is, as we've had sex with some of the same people and had very different experiences!

What makes a woman crap in bed?

From conversations I've had with male friends and partners, it is almost universally a woman who doesn't participate and expects the man to do all the work rather than it being a joint effort.

Selfishness and smelling peculiar

@AnneLovesGilbert

Poor personal hygiene. Lazy. Selfish.

Spot on

Boring, not passionate. Selfish and lazy. Non communicative about what you both like.

Selfish, impatient and unreceptive to what his partner is communicating.

I think it's certain qualities that make a man bad in bed.

If they lack skill or are generally abit crap in bed then with guidance,patience and with open and honest conversation that can be turned around but selfishness,laziness and a general unwillingness to reciprocate can't be;it's part of the blokes personality.

Performative type sex, when they’ve watched too much porn.

Winking at an invisible audience.

Playing with my nipples like he's looking for radio 1.

Not shutting his dog out of the room.

Trying to stick it up my bum when I've repeatedly said 'no'.

Too tired to put in the effort! DP and I have started taking it off the table altogether when we get to bed late, as it just doesn’t work well when he’s we’re tired. I need a certain energy from him to feel like he’s into it and not just ‘painting by numbers’.

Running commentary. Too much sex talk.