What makes a man crap in bed?

[biggirlknickers]

A question inspired by a post on another thread, along the lines of: ‘a man with no sense of rhythm and poor coordination is guaranteed to be crap in bed’.

So what do we mean by ‘crap in bed’? (other than selfishness, which presumably isn’t linked to lack of rhythm.)

Sadly not @flatteredfool his name started with D which implies there is sadly more than one of them out there!

Rubbing the clitoris faster than Usain Bolt can run while adding a crushing amount of pressure as if to run through the entire clitoris and to the bone.

Trying to kick start penetration with both a dry penis and dry vagina. Even quickies require some form of get go, come on man.

When I was younger and with one of my first sexual partners, he used to go down on me but just lick at my outer labia and I was too new and self conscious to correct him so just had to wait it out until he came (glad one of us did) up looking pleased with himself.

Another one saying jack rabbit sex, he thought he was a ladies man, but it was so bad it hurt my thighs and he had no care for making sure I was enjoying any of it.

The ones who hear ‘change tempo’ instead of ‘don’t stop doing that/keep going’

-stopping something just as you're about to cum
-absolute silence
-a routine
-eyes closed the whole time
-thinking it needs to last ages
-"accidentally" putting it in your arse
-poor hygiene
-to gentle
-small penis

I could go on... realising I've had some really bad sex in my time!

Why not selfishness?

Anyone who has wanked themselves into a very niche area of fetish. I don’t mean the truely strange stuff, just that they’ve trained their brain to not be able to perform unless you’re hairless, or let them do particular things to your boobs, etc. It’s just boring, and breaks any chance of connection or spontaneity.

Oh, and one I’ll never forget- because usually the ‘crap’ part is ‘before’ or ‘during’ the session, right? This dude was ok at those, but whenever he came would start a whole-body convulsion for a few minutes. Like a fish out of water. He couldn’t help it, poor lad, but he could have warned me! First time I nearly called an ambulance. By the third time, I was over it. I just sort of had to sit there, looking sympathetic while he shook and writhed. It seemed a bit pointed to leave him to it and go on with my day!

A man who thinks he is God's gift in bed & isn't (my exh)

I think it's the same for men and women really.

No enthusiasm

'Paint by numbers' sex (do this for ten minutes, then this for 10 minutes, then that for ten minutes ...)

Not listening/not willing to be guided/shown

Passivity

Not moving with you or feeling the rhythm

Lack of eye contact

Being squeamish

Rushing

No ability or understanding of how to build tension

Only being able to perform with the addition of props and sulking if unable to use them

Kinkiness/BDSM etc.

Not kissing

Doing sex to you not with you

Oh. Well I read that title totally wrong then. Phew (but I still clicked)!

@MyMabel

Rubbing the tendon between your thigh and groin and wondering why you’re not finished yet.

😂😂😂

Fucks in a generic "I've watched too much porn" way rather than focusing on his partner as an individual.

I think it’s a little mean to say that if someone has no sense of rhythm or coordination that they are crap in bed. It’s not an athletic sport! Also, most men have no sense of rhythm, esp this part of the world imho.

I think you can tell from a kiss what a man (or woman I guess) is going to be like in bed. So for me it’s not performance. From a kiss you can tell:

• hygiene - don’t even kiss if not there!
• pace - fast or slow people
• experience
• sensuality - for me the number one
• I guess technique too, plenty of sloppy kissers, people who bite your lips on first kisses, rushed kisses, barely there kisses, too much tongue kisses, I’m so fantastic kisses, trying way too hard kisses.

The person who responds as well as leads, and gives a really good kiss is the best at sex! Yes I have done a very robust and accurate study and can say that for certain...

Although I also have to say that contrary to my initial ‘never judge on obvious’ that someone who is a good dancer, is tall, wasn’t that attractive or confident when younger (and therefore had to try harder to learn about sex) and has a decent sized manhood - is a pretty great combination!

What makes a woman crap in bed?

Good question. I think with women, many of them lie to themselves and their lovers. So much pressure to ‘be sexy’ that I think that’s all a lot of women do, ‘act sexy’ but don’t get in touch with what they really like.

Also, many women don’t come from penetrative sex and I’ve met quite a few women who then get a bit mechanical about their orgasm, always needing a certain way of masturbation or oral sex which can get boring for both if done without a bit of spice every time.

Women can be lazy. I’ve definitely been quite lazy. But then to be honest riding a man like a horse for what seems ages isn’t the sexiest thing for me. However to keep a good sex life going I think we as women often don’t dominate enough or take the lead, which can be really sexy.

Many women don’t have any rhythm either, and men have told me that women are way more varied in how they can orgasm, and often don’t help a man to discover how. Also many women are really rough or way too light giving a blow job.

This is something perhaps men won’t say but I have sometimes felt very emotionally attached to boyfriends, which I don’t hold back from in sex, just fully get into it with my whole heart. Those boyfriends have all said the sex was amazing, and as I know I don’t fuck like a porn star I do think that emotional connection can make sex go on fire.

Getting too sweaty and clammy, usually if they're overweight.

I do not want to be underneath beads of sweat hanging by a thread.

Dysentery

Weird breathing.

^^

Like panting? Like a dog? Or raspy like darth vader

I just sort of had to sit there, looking sympathetic while he shook and writhed

^

When the goal is his orgasm and yours is, at best accidental and at worst a chore.

When they give you 30 seconds of nervous oral, because they want you to spend 45 mins giving them a blowy.

Role players; ain't got time for a big storyline, I have to be up early for work.

I had to laugh at the OP about a guy having no sense of rhythm being guaranteed crap in bed. I got this image of a guy with a sombrero and castanets dad dancing into the bedroom.
In answer to the question I guess it's a guy who's selfish, thinks he's aiming for an Olympic gold at finishing and not very up on the hygiene aspects.

The very worst sex ive ever had has been with a bloke who wasn't into it closet religious gay fella . That was the pits. I caught him looking at the ceiling whilst I was giving him a blow job also. Mortifying. I fancied the pants off him, too. Unfortunately, he fancied the pants off his mate Danny, but I had no idea at the time.

Second worst was the chap who just had no sensitivity. It was like he was tuning in a radio or polishing a brass. And unresponsive - as in didn't pick up that I wasn't in to it.

Food poisoning